“Actually, I wanted to ask you something,” I said. “Mike, are you OK?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know, but you’ve been acting strange for a while now. And when you just took off just now, I thought maybe the thing with Sue and my brother had pissed you off.”
“What thing with Sue and your brother?” he asked.
“I mean, if I had to lay money on it, I’d say they’re probably going to hook up. And you and Sue, you’re like superhero and sidekick, so I thought you were upset. I’ve kind of always assumed you had feelings for her.”
“Sue’s just a friend,” Mike said, flicking his ashes off the edge of the roof. “Whoever she wants to sleep with, that’s her choice.”
“Fine, understood. So let’s just pretend you’re not upset right now. That still doesn’t explain the past couple of days. Ever since your brother and I got back from Greece, you’re so quiet. You’ve been treating Jack and me like we barely exist.”
Mike looked away. “I don’t know what you mean.” He dropped his cigarette butt, crushed it out under his shoe, and tried to walk away. When I stopped him, he exclaimed, “Jen, what do you want?”
“I want to know what’s wrong. I want to know why you refuse to actually talk to anyone. And most of all, I want to know if we did somethingto hurt you. Because if so, I promise you, we didn’t mean to, and I’d do anything I could to make it better!”
For a brief moment, he looked as if he would open up, but that impression quickly vanished as he jerked his arm away and started pacing.
“Is it because we left you here?” I called out, desperate to find some explanation. “Did you want us to ask you to come along?”
“What the hell am I going to do in Greece?” he shouted. “It’s not you and it’s not Jack, OK? It’s my band. We broke up. It’s over.”
I was speechless. Mike’s head was hanging low, his shoulders were slumped. I reached out to hug him, but then I let my arms drop—I wasn’t sure it was appropriate. “I’m so sorry, Mike. What happened?”
“The bass player got picked up by another band, and he took the rest of the guys with him. Now they’re supposedly in asupergroup. I guess I wasn’tsuperenough for them, so now I’m on my own.”
“Maybe you could sing for someone else?” I offered. “Naya told me you were taking vocal lessons, she said you were getting better. Or this could be the moment to go solo! All you need nowadays is a computer and some mixing equipment, you don’t even need any backup musicians anymore!”
“I don’t know, Jenna… I don’t feel like doing anything, to tell the truth. I’ve been at this for ages, it’s never gone anywhere, I should probably just give it up.”
To hell with it, I thought: if I was him, I’d sure want a hug, so what was holding me back? I squeezed him tight and felt him patting me on the back, almost as if he were consoling me. “I’m sorry, Mike,” I murmured. “If you want, you and I can be a band. I used to play the triangle. I’m really good at it!”
I could feel the laughter shaking his torso—timid, not like the boisterous laughter I was used to from him, but perhaps that meant it was more sincere. “The triangle?” he asked sarcastically.
“Yeah. And I could sing harmony, too!”
He held me a long while in silence, and when he let me go, he didn’t look angry anymore. “I’ve got an idea,” I told him. “How about we go downstairs and watch your favorite show about tattoo disasters? I’m freezing up here.”
Mike nodded and we took the ladder back down.
“I’m alive. Can I hang up now?”
It was two in the morning, and I had managed to stay awake until Jack arrived at his hotel. I was grouchy, but I couldn’t blame anyone, him calling had been my idea. That first night alone, especially, I needed to at least hear his voice for a second. I knew if I didn’t, I’d never fall asleep in that big empty bed without him. I’d actually tried to tell Spencer he could use it, thinking that crashing on the couch with the TV on would feel less lonely, but just as everyone had predicted, he had wound up in Sue’s room. And even if things seemed better with Mike, I wasn’t going to push the envelope by sleeping in the same room with him. I didn’t trust him not to try something, and Jack would kill him if he found out.
Holding the phone in one hand, I grabbed the blanket and sheets with the other and pulled them under my chin. Then I hugged his pillow, which smelled of his shampoo. I put the phone on speaker so I could lie back and hold it up. I looked at my wallpaper: a photo of Jack winking and sticking out his tongue.
“Jen,” he said, calm, tender, but exasperated, “you should get some sleep. You sound exhausted.”
“So?”
“There’s no need for you to stay up. I can call you in the afternoon.”
“I like talking at bedtime. That’s when the secrets come out.”
“Bedtime for you, maybe. Over here, the sun’s been up for hours. But anyway, how are things? You haven’t destroyed the apartment yet, have you?”
“No, but I thought the building was going to collapse from all the bumping and grinding. First it was Will and Naya, which I’m almost used to at this point, but I’m sad to inform you that when they were done, my brother and Sue started going at it.”
