At this rate, Hannah was going to have to scare her suitor off herself. She’d been trying her best, but Mama was scarcely letting her get a word in.
True to form, she interjected, “My Hannah is perfectly fluent in French and Italian, she paints,andshe plays the pianoforte.”
Yes. An enormous amount of time and effort had been devoted to equipping Hannah with a list of skills to impress people at dinner parties.
“How lovely,” Sir Richard replied, obviously pleased.
“But my true passion is taxidermy,” Hannah said, seizing a pause in the conversation. At last! This was her chance to horrify their guests.
“Pardon?” Sir Richard didn’t seem nearly as put out as she’dhoped. If anything, he was confused. He blinked his eyes in a grandfatherly sort of way.
He did most things in a grandfatherly sort of way, if Hannah was being honest.
It was his daughter, Miss Fielding, who wrinkled up her nose in disgust. “Do you mean to say you actually go about collecting fallen birds and things to stuff for dioramas?”
It wasn’t entirely clear why Miss Fielding had accompanied her father. Perhaps their parents had expected the girls to form a fast friendship given there were only two years separating them, but if so, the hope was quickly proving misguided. Miss Fielding seemed nearly as underwhelmed by the potential match as Hannah herself.
“Yes,” Hannah replied brightly, at the exact moment her mother said, “No.”
They exchanged a simmering glare.
“Hannah has such a delightful sense of humor,” Mama continued. “Very refreshing. Wouldn’t you agree, Sir Richard?”
She’s ruining all my efforts to ruin things!
“Oh.” His laugh was little more than a dry wheeze. “Yes. Er—most refreshing.”
“Would you like to hear more of my jokes?” Hannah asked. “I know a number of amusing limericks.”
“That won’t be necessary. Thank you, poppet.” Mama’s smile was growing brittle. “Sir Richard, why don’t you tell us about your home. You’re situated near Liskeard, aren’t you? It’s such a lovely town. And so close to us in Devon!”
Hannah pretended not to see the hopeful look her mother threw her way.
“Oh yes.” Sir Richard smiled. He had crow’s feet around his eyes that grew more pronounced with every movement. “I remember when Liskeard was nothing but a sleepy farming town. But since the coppermine, it’s grown dreadfully busy. Such a commotion on market day…”
This last observation sounded rather like a complaint, but Mama clung defiantly to her optimism. “How wonderful. Industry breathing new life into the region! I’m sure there must be plenty of activities there to keep a young lady occupied.”
She nudged Hannah gently in the side.
Across from them, Sir Richard seemed to be engaged in a similar battle of wills with his own daughter. “If you’d like to call on us in the country, I’m sure Mary would be happy to show you the town, wouldn’t you, my dear?”
Miss Fielding looked as though she’d been asked to give a tour to soldiers invading her country. Hannah might actually have got on well with her, under different circumstances. They both understood the torment that could be wrought by deluded parents.
“That would be lovely,” Mama replied on Hannah’s behalf. “You’re too kind.”
Behind them, the lace curtains fluttered in the breeze like a flag of surrender. Hannah had taken care to crack the windows this morning, but there wasstillno sign of Mr. Corbyn. It was twenty past eleven. If she didn’t sabotage this call soon, she might actually find herself engaged to an octogenarian before nuncheon.
I don’t need Mr. Corbyn. I can make a fool of myself all on my own.
“I’m afraid it’s impossible.” Hannah raised her voice over her mother’s desperate attempt to shush her. “You see, I expect to be married soon.”
This didn’t have the desired impact at all. Miss Fielding was the only one to furrow her brow in dismay, while Sir Richard gave another breathy chuckle.
“My, my, rather eager, aren’t we? But I suppose it’s only natural. All girls dream of becoming a wife…”
Oh no. He thinks I’m talking about him, Hannah realized. Of coursehe did. Hadn’t the events of the past two days proven that she was cursed with a complete inability to escape unwanted suitors?
“To a dashing young midshipman I met recently,” she added. “He swept me off my feet and I’m desperately in love with him.”
