Jane had never imagined she would say those words. Her club had meant the world to her a few short weeks ago. It still did. But nothing was worth the cost of Eli’s life. She’d thought that she could protect herself from the grief she’d felt when her parents died if she didn’t depend on anyone, and he’d snuck his way into her heart despite her efforts to keep a distance between them. Offered her a glimpse of what it would feel like to have his full support and affection. She didn’t want to go back to a life without him. She wanted himhere, safe at her side, as a true partner through everything.
“You don’t know how hard it is to listen to my parents fight all day,” Eli said. “And you’d be so far from your friends and family in Devon, you might come to resent me in time. I couldn’t bear that, Jane.”
He looked so troubled by the idea, Jane’s protest died on her lips. She noticed the shadows under his eyes for the first time. Had he slept since yesterday? He had enough to deal with before Uncle Bertie had forced him into proposing, it wasn’t fair to add to his burdens. Perhaps he hadn’t wanted any of this. “You should be focusing on your defense. Let’s wait to discuss this after the inquiry is over. I don’t want to keep you from your friend any longer.”
Eli hesitated, searching her face. “Are you certain? I thought you might want to discuss the wedding. Everything happened so quickly yesterday, we hardly had a chance to speak.”
“It will keep,” she assured him. “You wouldn’t have to plan a wedding and a court inquiry in the same week if Uncle Bertie hadn’t forced your hand. I’d hate to be a distraction for you. You can call on medirectly after the hearing on Tuesday. Until then, you should devote all your energies to your preparations. That’s what matters most.”
“If you’re sure…” He placed a chaste kiss upon her cheek and rose to his feet, still looking to Jane as he retrieved his hat, as though expecting her to call him back. When she didn’t, he nodded and saw himself out.
Twenty-Five
Eli scarcely noticed the neighborhood pass by him on the way to Halsey’s town house. Everything seemed to move in a blur.
I’d hate to be a distraction for you.It had all the appearance of a kindness, if one could forget that he and Jane had been pressed into a surprise engagement only yesterday, and she’d barely spoken to him since. Distraction was inevitable. The only question was: Did she plan to release him the moment the inquiry was over?
He would greatly prefer to know the answer before Tuesday.
When Hal received him in the sitting room and offered him a drink, Eli took it without hesitation.
“Feeling nervous, are you?” Hal was good enough to pour himself a bit of whiskey to match Eli and not comment on the fact that it was barely one in the afternoon.
“That’s an understatement.” His nerves at the prospect of the inquiry could be managed. He’d been preparing himself as best he could, and all he’d told Jane was quite true. He liked his odds of coming out clear if they had nothing more damning than a letter.
His engagement, though. That was more complicated.
Was Jane only distant because she was worried about him, or did she regret being trapped in a marriage she hadn’t chosen? There was little hope of assuaging his fears anytime soon. Even if she didn’t want to marry him, Jane wasn’t the sort to kick a man while he was down. He wouldn’t know her true thoughts until he was out of danger.
“I was hoping you might have heard something about my case from the naval lords,” Eli began. At least this was one problem he could address. “Do you know if they have any evidence against me beyond Captain Powlett’s letter?”
“I have good news for you there. I understand there’s nothing else. Admiral Ward came to me himself when he realized I’d served with you on theLibertas—strictly an informal discussion, of course—and I told him that all of us saw you go under, and that there were pirates in the region at the time.” Hal smiled, lifting his glass in a toast. “To your imminent exoneration.”
“Let’s not celebrate the victory before it’s won.”
The greatest danger lay not in the letter, but in what the judges might extract from his testimony if he gave the wrong answers.
“Do you think they’ll ask a great many questions about my absence?”
“What should it matter if they do?” Hal still wore a smile, but the corners were beginning to droop as he contemplated this question. “No one is trying to trap you, if that’s what you’re worried about. You need only reassure them this is all a misunderstanding and they’ll be happy to send you on your way, I’m sure.”
It would have been as easy as Hal made it sound, if only he didn’t have Geórgios to protect and his own delay in France to conceal. What if they asked for the exact date he’d arrived there? He could lie, but if someone turned up to expose him later, it wouldn’t matter that the inquiry didn’t have enough evidence to charge him with desertion. They would have him up for perjury.
“What’s wrong?” Hal asked. “I thought you’d be happier at this news.”
“I am happy,” Eli said swiftly.
“No, you aren’t. Your face is stuck in an expression I can only describe as” —He considered a moment before settling on—“like you’re expecting a horse to kick you in the balls.”
“I’m just eager to have everything over with.”
Hal stared at him until it became uncomfortable. His dark eyes seemed to bore holes in Eli’s facade. “You’re hiding something.”
“That’s absurd!”
“It’s the truth. We may not have seen each other in two years, but I still know when you’re bluffing.”
“Leave it, Hal.” Eli shot him his darkest look.
