“Tell me what you’re thinking… Do you hate me for it?”
“No,” she assured him, reaching out to press a hand to his forearm. The whole of his consciousness narrowed to that tiny point of contact. “I could never hate you. To be perfectly honest, I’d probably have hidden in France for three months too, if it meant avoiding a marriage to Cecily. I just…I still don’t understand why, ifyoufelt that way, you went out to the gardens with her in the first place?”
“I’m sorry I did. I can’t tell you how often I regretted it.” He gave her a moment to take in the apology before he continued. “I could say I’d had too much to drink that evening or that it was a rash decision, but nothing I say will excuse my behavior. I made a selfish and impulsive choice, and I paid the consequence. But at the time, it seemed such a small thing, to kiss a woman in the gardens at a house party. It was ten minutes of my life, at most. I never thought it would lead further than that.”
The explanation didn’t seem to have the effect he’d hoped. It was torture to come this close and find forgiveness still just beyond reach. And there was no one to blame but himself.
“Is there anything I can say to make things right?” he asked softly. “I hate that I’ve hurt you, Jane. If there’s something else you need from me, tell me so that I can give it to you.”
Jane ran her finger along the rim of the plate Geórgios had left behind, avoiding Eli’s gaze. “I suppose…I don’t understand why you pickedher. Instead of…well, me.” The last part came out little more than a murmur. “It made me wonder, why wasn’t I good enough?”
“Oh.” Eli sat up a bit straighter. This was an unexpected gift one he hadn’t dared hope for. “I didn’t think you felt that way about me. At least not then.”
“I spentallmy time with you.”
“Yes, but you also kept saying what a good friend I was,” Eli pointed out. “I wish you’d kissed me under a secluded archway instead. It would have saved us an enormous amount of trouble.” He would never have sailed out of England if Jane had been his match. Never would have lost all that time.
Jane finally managed to look him in the eye, some of the tension broken. “I don’t think I was courageous enough yet. And anyway, isn’t it supposed to be the gentleman’s job to take the first step?”
“I might have done if I’d known how you felt. I was afraid it would be unwelcome.”
Eli’s smile faded as he reached out a hand to cup her face, his voice suddenly serious. “Jane. You must know how I feel about you. How I’ve always felt about you.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers, wishing it were five years earlier and this were their first kiss. To think how much happiness they’d missed! Maybe it wasn’t too late to set things right after all. There must be a way forward. He wouldn’t lose her again.
Eli coaxed her lips open, pleading shamelessly for more of her warmth, more of her touch. Finally, he traced his mouth along her jaw, spreading a trail of heat to her ear, where he whispered, “Youaregood enough, Jane. You’re the very best. There’s no one else I want.”
Jane clutched Eli tightly, finding his mouth again. A groan escaped his lips, mingling with the tapping sound outside.
Wait, why is there a tapping sound outside?
Eli broke off the kiss and whirled toward the window. There was a face there, his brows drawn together in outrage as his fingers rapped against the glass.
It was Jane’s uncle.
Twenty-Four
Oh no. No, no, no.
The face had already vanished, most likely because its owner was racing back indoors to confront them at any second.
This was a nightmare. Eli had suffered it before, more than once. Some men on theLibertashad been haunted by the battles they’d fought or storms they’d barely survived. Eli relived the moment where Herbert Bishop had caught him compromising Cecily and forced him into an odious engagement.
Eli pinched himself discreetly beneath his shirt cuff. No improvement.
“Quick!” Jane cried. “You hide under the table, and I’ll say he imagined it.”
But Mr. Bishop was already upon them, flinging open the door with a clatter.
“Lieutenant,really.” His expression was a dangerous mix of shock, outrage, and what might have been glee. “I cannot believe you would accost Jane in such a manner!”
“I’m not accosted,” said Jane, panic rising in her voice. She jumpedto her feet to meet her uncle as he descended upon them, and Eli followed suit. “I’m not sure what you think you saw, Uncle, but you must be mistaken. That window is very foggy. Lieutenant Williams only leaned over to brush a crumb from my hair, and—”
“I shall not be hoodwinked, my dear. I saw it very clearly.” Yes, that was definitely glee. “You are compromised. Ruined beyond repair. Do you deny it, Lieutenant?”
Jane looked at him with murder in her eyes.Deny it, that look said. But how could he lie to Bishop’s face, when the man had caught them in the act? It would be pointless.
“I would prefer not to use that description, but I will own that I kissed your niece, sir.” If only there were a lever he could pull to slow time. Gain a few minutes to think and to talk to Jane. But Bishop barreled forward like a post chaise.
