“Oh, she’s quite beastly to you,” Della agreed. “But that’s her decision. You don’t have to give in to it. You could walk away.”
“I avoid her as much as I can.” It would never be possible toremove Cecily from her life, but Jane gave her as wide a berth as could be managed.
“I suppose I mean more than just physically walking away. You let it bother you. Let it determine whether you want to marry a man, for goodness’ sake. She’s directing your life, even when you’re not in her presence.”
Jane didn’t answer this. It gave her a very uncomfortable feeling.
“Are you in love with him?” Della asked.
“We only spent four days together. That’s too short a time to fall in love unless one has a theatrical disposition, which I do not.”
“You’ve known him far longer than four days,” Della pointed out. “And you talk about him all the time. Most importantly, you didn’t deny it.”
“I’m denying it now,” Jane said sternly, though she wished she’d said it straight off.
She couldn’t be in love with him. That would be foolish. She’d known from the outset they had no future together.
“If you want my advice, you’ll go talk to him.”
Della made it sound so easy—just talk to him—but what could she say that hadn’t already been said? It wasn’t about competing with Cecily, no matter what Della thought. The real obstacle was in wanting to be first in his eyes instead of merely good enough. Wanting to matter so much that he would stay.
Eli might have every attribute she could want in a match, but what was it worth if he didn’t see her the same way? Any assurance he might give her would speak less than his actions. He’d had the chance to be with her years ago, and he hadn’t taken it.
Hadn’t wanted her.
And anyway, Della had no proof that he would be the answer to all their problems. A marriage was quite different from a passing flirtation. For all they knew, he might share Uncle Bertie’s view thatJane should pull back from her club to protect her reputation, if he ever thought of making her his wife.
“My uncle is still hoping some callers might turn up this morning. I don’t think he’ll let me get away.” Jane avoided the accusatory look in her friend’s eyes.
“You should do it soon,” Della persisted. “While you can still mend things. Don’t be stubborn.”
“Hmm.”
“I mean it,” Della pressed. “You’ll regret it later if you don’t.”
Jane changed the subject. “What are our numbers like for Monday? Is Lady Eleanor coming again?” She was on safer footing here. She knew how to gauge the odds of victory on a given hand or fill out the room with the right people, whereas Eli left her feeling baffled and wounded.
If it was to be her last time in her own element, she would make it an evening to remember.
“What did they say?”
Eli returned home from the lords commissioners’ office the next morning to find his entire family waiting in the parlor for him.
“Shouldn’t you all be out on morning calls?” he asked, taking a seat as the maid served him tea. “We should try and behave as though all is well.” It might take another week or more before the court of inquiry had selected the judges and was ready to hear him. They needed to project a strong facade in the meantime.
“Yes, but what did theysay?” his mother insisted.
“Only what I expected. They’ve assured me they have no interest in leaking the proceedings to the papers, though once the actual inquiry is held, it will be difficult to prevent the ship’s crew fromspreading the story. With some luck, it will be over before anyone hears of it, and we can weather any talk.”
“Why can’t you just tell them to drop the whole thing?” his father grumbled.
“I’ll certainly try at the inquiry,” Eli replied. “Regardless, the best thing we can do now is carry on with our lives.” He would reach out to a few officers he could trust to exert favorable influence on his behalf. Perhaps Halsey could help. Didn’t he say he was secretary to one of the naval lords now?
Beyond that, it would be better not to stir up gossip.
“I suppose you’re right.” His mother rose to her feet and fetched a pile of calling cards from the sideboard. “These all came while we were at Ascot. I shall make a schedule for the return calls. If we hurry, we might still get an offer for Hannah before anyone learns of this court-martialing business.”
Hannah shot Eli a desperate look as Mrs. Williams began listing off names.
