They stared each other down across a long silence, neither of them knowing how to move forward. Finally, Jane mumbled, “We should head back to the others or they’ll come looking.”
“You can’t expect me to leave things like this. Tell me what I can do to make it right.”
“Are you planning on leaving your service?” She tried to keep her voice neutral, but it carried an accusation all the same.
“It isn’t as simple as that. My family put everything I set aside into Jacob’s tour of the continent when they thought I was dead. If I request a discharge, it will leave me with no income.” His eyes seemed to plead with her for understanding. “I can’t build any kind of life for myself while I’m living with my parents.”
No, he couldn’t. Anyone who knew Mr. and Mrs. Williams could see how miserable they were together. It was no wonder that he wouldn’t want to spend decades under their roof. But neither could Eli build any kind of life with her if he was to sail back to the ends of the earth.
“Then there’s nothing for it,” she said softly. “We’re simply ill-matched.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I don’t blame you,” she assured him. “It wasn’t your fault you were captured, as you say. But it changed everything, and it can’t be undone.”
She’d meant the words to lighten the burden that Eli must carry for compromising her, but if anything, he only looked more upset. Something in his eyes hardened, and his thoughts were closed off to her. After a long silence, Eli offered his arm and led her from the woods, back into the open field. She fell into step without a word.
“And your cousin? What shall we do about the gossip over my argument with MacPherson?”
“The only thing we can.” Jane squinted at the carriages ahead,trying to distinguish the figures against the sunlight. Cecily was watching them again. “We ignore any talk and hope it blows over.”
What choice did they have? She wasn’t going to be pressured into a marriage she didn’t want just because Eli couldn’t control his temper.
“It would probably be best if we didn’t see much of each other in town,” she added. “It will only add to speculation.”
Eli stiffened slightly. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
No good could come of prolonging the inevitable. Eli would sail back out of her life in a few weeks. The more she let herself grow attached to him, the greater her heartbreak would be when he left again. Better not to rely too much on anyone.
They walked the rest of the way in silence.
“Thereyou are,” said Cecily as they approached. “You took your time.”
“It’s a longer path than it looks from here,” Eli replied.
“What did you talk about that whole way?”
“Nothing of any import.” Without a backward glance, he walked to his family’s carriage and stepped inside.
Cecily turned immediately to Jane, but she spoke first, leaving Cecily with her mouth set in the “O” of a gasping fish. “Let’s get back on the road then. We want to be home by supper.”
She stepped into the clarence, and her family followed close behind. Jane pulled back the curtain and watched the farmland roll by as they left Osterley. In less than two hours, they should be back at the town house and the Williamses would be back at theirs. They wouldn’t need to see each other again.
She hadn’t said goodbye. Not properly.
Jane swallowed hard, but the lump in her throat didn’t go away.
To the attention of the Lords Commissioners,
The Admiralty, London
I have the honor to address your Lordships in accordance with the obligation that my conscience lays upon me regarding the return of Lt. Eleazar Williams to British soil a fortnight ago. Lt. Williams served on the Libertas, late under my command, which was wrecked in pursuit of pirates in the Adriatic Sea on the 5th of June, 1837. I logged his death myself, having seen him pulled under with the ship.
The Lt. informs that he was held captive by the pirates for two years and made his escape only recently. However, I remained at Corfu until October of 1837 and never heard of any demand for ransom. Further, the pirates who plundered this coast were not known to take prisoners.
I trust their Lordships will undertake such verifications as they deem necessary to satisfy themselves of the cause of Lt. Williams’s absence from service, with all due respect for his rank and person, and the good character I observed during his time aboard my ship. I bring this to your attention in keeping with my highest sense of duty toward Her Majesty’s Royal Navy.
