Jane had proven herself unbelievably bold since yesterday, but Eli couldn’t quite forget how cold she’d been before then. If her feelings could change so quickly, how much faith could he put in them?
He was going to make some misstep. He could feel it. He was going to say the wrong thing or prove himself too eager, and then Jane would go right back to hating him, the door slammed shut on this brief interlude.
When the last race was done, everyone wandered back downstairs to the promenade, where the crowd had grown so thick they had no hope of reaching their carriage anytime soon. As Jane joined her cousin in conversation with some mutual friend, Eli found his parents. They stood on the edges of the group, turned away from one another. His father’s face was pulled into a deep scowl, the lines of his face taking on the shape of crevices in stone after so many years spent in the same expression. His mother examined her hands with great interest, her eyes bright.
There was no point in asking what happened, for he already knew this story. It could be any number of things, and yet it was always the same thing. They were ill-matched, both in temperament and principles. It was as simple as that.
It could easily be his own fate, despite escaping a doomed marriage to Cecily with his flight to sea. Once, he’d believed he and Jane might be compatible enough to find happiness. Now, he wasn’t so sure. Perhaps the memory of his betrayal would always hang between them, resentment poisoning the affection they could have shared.
What future can we have together, after that?
Eli turned to his sister. Perhaps she could provide a little distraction for everyone. “Hannah, how was your day?”
“Fine.” She, too, stared glumly at nothing in particular.
“Did you like the races?”
Her puffed sleeves rustled and shifted as she shrugged.
“Is something the matter?”
“No.”
Not very convincing. He might have pressed further, but the crowd had finally cleared enough that they could inch toward the exit. Eli took position near the head of their group, keeping an eye out for pickpockets as he led the way. They were nearly at their carriage when a gentleman stopped him.
“Lieutenant Williams?” He was about fifty, with graying hair and sad, watery eyes. His wife stood at his side, their arms linked together. Both of them looked a bit lost.
“Yes, sir?” Eli didn’t recognize the pair.
“Oh, itishim. You see?” The woman squeezed her husband’s forearm, a nervous smile flickering over her face for only a second before it vanished again.
“My name is Hugh Meredith, and this is Mrs. Meredith. I believe you served with our son, Owen, on theLibertas.”
Eli’s heart sunk. He remembered Owen Meredith. He’d been a gunner with a hearty laugh and a quick temper. He’d also been one of the last onboard, alongside Eli, when the ship went down.
He knew what the Merediths were going to ask; it was written in the mixture of hope and desperation on their faces.
“We saw your story in the papers,” Mrs. Meredith began, her voice wavering, “about how you were abducted when everyone thought you’d drowned. And we wondered…”
“I’m sorry, madam,” Eli interrupted, not wanting to hear the words. “I didn’t see any sign of your son after the wreck.”
She swallowed, exchanging a look with her husband. “But ifyoumade it out, and no one knew until now…”
“I’m sorry,” Eli repeated gently. “I do wish I had something better to tell you.”
She looked as though she might say more, but her husband took her by the shoulders and inched her away. “Come along, Ann. We have our answer.” Mr. Meredith nodded to Eli as he withdrew. “Thank you, Lieutenant.”
No one else said anything the rest of the way back, but Eli could feel their eyes on him the whole time, smothering him with the weight of their muted concern.
Eli washed and dressed for supper quickly once they returned to the Lindens’, breathing a sigh of relief when he could dismiss his valet. Being alone felt easier than being around other people at the moment.
How many times would he have to discuss the shipwreck before the story exhausted itself? He couldn’t shake the feeling he’d handed the Merediths the second-worst news of their lives. Broken their hope all over again. Would there be more like them, other families seeking some miracle for their drowned sons with that same, bleak look in their eyes?
Supper, he reminded himself, adjusting his cravat in the mirror. The Lindens had been gracious enough to host them. The least he could do was summon up some good humor and make polite conversation for the evening.
But when he strode out into the hall, a sound from behind Jane’s door gave him pause. It sounded suspiciously like a lady’s sobs.
Eli froze.
