She would have herself back in hand by then. She didn’t know why she was overwrought to begin with. Eli had no longer been her dear friend when he’d gone off to sea. He’d been the selfish cad who’d broken her heart. She shouldn’t care half so much what became of him.
But try as she might, she couldn’t erase the memories of how patient he’d been, sitting with her on a bench in the gardens at Ashlow Park, heads bent over an algebra text, as if there was nothing he’d rather do with his time. Every smile or joke they’d shared had made her feel cherished. Like she belonged.
It was nothing but a childish fancy. How could Eli admire her if he were the sort of man who admired Cecily? The two of them were asopposed in character and temperament as it was possible to be, like the ends of a magnet. Attraction to one meant repulsion from the other.
Even if one made allowances for a difference in taste, Cecily was also perfectly vile to her half the time, and Eli knew it. He could’ve chosen any other woman to compromise and marry, and she would have accepted it. Would still have called him a friend.
Just not that one.
A set of footsteps in the hall interrupted her thoughts. A heavy tread, belonging to a man.Drat. It had been too much to hope for a minute of solitude in a house this crowded. She and Della should go, before they found themselves subjected to unwanted company.
She had barely drawn a breath to say so when the intruder rounded the doorway and came into their sight.
It was Eli, and he’d clearly come in search of her.
Three
“By Jove, I can’t believe you’re really alive. We all thought you’d drowned.” Eli’s friend, George Halsey, raised a hand to touch his arm, but recalled himself before completing the gesture. His eyes were full of wonder.
Halsey had served with Eli on theLibertas, though he’d changed since the shipwreck. His jawline had lost the leanness of youth and gained a beard.
“What are you doing back in London?” It was a relief to see a friendly face at Lady Kerr’s fête. Most of the other guests had been staring at him as if he were a carnival oddity since his entry was announced. A pair of ladies huddled to his left, trying to disguise their whispers behind their fans, but he caught snippets of their conversation.
“Missing for two years. Can you imagine?”
“I heard he was stranded on a desert island.”
“I’d have gone mad if it were me.”
Eli suppressed the urge to toss a quick retort in their direction. Halsey might enjoy the sport, but it wouldn’t solve anything. He would have to get used to this sort of thing.
“I was recalled home after the wreck,” his friend explained, tugging the glove from his left hand to reveal two missing fingers. The remainder was bent as though the bones hadn’t set properly. “Got it crushed against the foremast. Though at least it wasn’t my good hand. I’m secretary to the third naval lord now.” A comfortable position. Halsey came from an old, monied family, with an uncle in politics. No doubt it had helped him secure it. “But never mind me. Where wereyouall this time?”
“It’s a long story.” Eli glanced around, conscious of how many observers were fixated on his every move. This wasn’t the place. “Come by the house later this week and I’ll share it with you. It will be good to catch up.”
I should hurry and find Jane.So far, there was no sign of her.
Eli scanned the room again, sifting through the sea of curious faces to find one that was familiar. His eye was drawn to a dark-haired lady whose quick, resolute stride set her apart from the figures milling aimlessly about the edges of his vision. Eli’s heart lurched in his chest even before his mind had time to recognize her. She vanished through a doorway barely a second later, making him question if she had really been there at all. Perhaps he was so eager to see her that his mind had drawn her portrait upon some other woman.
No. It must have been Jane. Even at this distance, he couldn’t confuse her with anyone else. She carried herself with a purpose that belied her slight frame, each shift of her limbs an edict. No one else moved like that.
Eli turned back to Halsey. “Would you mind if I left you for a moment? I’ve…just seen an old acquaintance I must catch up with.”
“Was it that lady you were staring at?” Hal’s face split into a sly grin. “Left behind a string of broken hearts, have you? I’m sure they’ll all beverymoved to see your heroic return. Women love a tragic story.”
“It’s nothing like that,” Eli said quickly. “She’s just a friend.”
That was all she’d ever been, no matter how he might have wished otherwise.
Hal looked undeterred as he took his leave. “Good luck all the same.”
Eli left Halsey and plunged into the crowd. The people swirled around him, every head turning to follow his path. More than one acquaintance (and several strangers) tried to catch him in conversation, but Eli pressed on.
By the time he reached the doorway where he’d last seen Jane, she was gone. He set off down the darkened hall, following the sound of voices until he reached the library. It was dimly lit, and nearly empty, the evening still too young to have spilled guests to all the odd corners of the house. But here was Jane.
She looked exactly as he remembered. Her dark hair was pulled up into a mass of curls. Her eyes, a muted shade caught between blue and gray, were turned away from him. Her mouth was set in a line he knew well, the corners tipping down of their own accord, so that she seemed to be perpetually frowning no matter what her true sentiments might be.
She wore a gown of violet silk with the low, wide neckline that was in fashion, cut in a deep V to expose the lace chemisette she wore underneath. Eli always felt vaguely as though he were looking at a woman’s undergarments when he saw a gown cut that way, which was probably the point. Tonight, it made his throat turn dry.
