“Shut up and hug me back,” she mumbled.
Because he was the person she knew him to be, he didn’t disappoint. Slowly, his arms lifted from his sides and wrapped around her. A beat later, his cheek rested on the top of her hair.
“This is a mistake,” he murmured as his arms tightened.
“Yeah, you really seem to regret it,” she replied. The swat on her butt surprised a laugh from her.
“Smart-ass,” he said before brushing a kiss on the crown of her head, his hand lingering on the curve of her behind.
“Collin?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t need me.”
He pulled her tight against his body, the bulge in his jeans pressing into her belly. “You sure about that?”
She was tempted to play along, but what she had to say was important. “I understand what you’re saying, that when someone needs someone else, that can be a weight to carry, maybe even a burden. But youdon’tneed me. In the same way that I don’t need you. We’ve lived seventeen years of our lives apart. We’ve built businesses, have our families. We’velived.” She pulled back enough to look him in the eye. When his gaze met hers, she continued. “We did all that without each other.” She paused. “But I’m telling you now, and you need to respect what I’m saying, it’s okay towantme.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “Wanting you isn’t the issue.”
She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t mean that in a physical way. Well, not entirely.”
“Neither did I.”
She held his gaze. “Then what is?”
“Keeping you.”
“I don’t understand.” It seemed like sheshouldunderstand, but she didn’t. Maybe because he’d never really lost her in the first place, although granted, he may not know that.
“Aside from my obvious issues, your life is here. You and your parents have built an amazing business. Mine is in Mystery Lake.”
“Where you and your family have built your own businesses,” she finished. He’d never live in Napa Valley again, not onlybecause his family was in Mystery Lake, but because of the memories.
Deep inside, she’d always known that. It was why she’d been able to let him go the first time, though it hadn’t been easy. He’d changed in the seventeen years he’d been gone, but she’d still never ask him to live day in and day out with those reminders. And she’d never considered leaving. Not that she wouldn’t, only that she never had.
All these thoughts were putting the cart before the horse, but she understood why Collin raised the issue. Parting as kids, with their whole lives ahead of them, was one thing. But as adults—adults who knew more about life, themselves, what they valued, and who they wanted—it was an entirely different thing. Put in that light, maybe starting something without havingsomeidea of whether it could work wasn’t the best idea.
Then again, the past week of surprises had reminded her that life was short and often unpredictable. She didn’t discount his concerns, but did they really know what would happen in the next year, month, week, or even minute? She had no desire to set them up for heartbreak, but passing up what could be an amazing experience because of how a future might or might not unfold didn’t seem like a great idea either.
Resigned to not having an answer tonight, she tucked her head against his chest again. Again, his hold tightened. “Come sleep with me,” she said. His body jerked against hers. “Just sleep,” she continued. “We’ve both said a lot of things tonight that bear some thought. But my house was broken into, a dead man left ten minutes from my door, an ex-boyfriend murdered, and I found out that some crazy concoction of drugs might be making its way through the valley and that Roger might have been poisoned. I’m not super upset about the latter, but it would be nice to fall asleep with your arms anchoring me to something good.”
Under her ear, his heart rate increased. Not a rapid beat, but a steady, heavy thud. “We might regret it.”
“We might not,” she countered.
Another log shifted in the fire, and the ambient light dimmed as it rolled against the back of the hearth.
A heavy sigh ruffled the top of her hair. “Let’s head to bed, then.”
She knew better than to say any more. Stepping back, she took his hand and let him lead her wherever he intended to go, likely to his old room.
Grabbing her bag as they passed, he ushered her toward the back stairs. Two floors later, they entered the south tower—a rounded room dominated by a spiral staircase carved into the stone, a massive four-poster bed, and a gorgeous armoire. To her right, a door led to a bathroom. A duffel, presumably Collin’s, sat on the bed.
She took her bag and headed into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, she emerged with her face washed and moisturized and her teeth clean, wearing her favorite pajamas—drawstring pants and a button-up long-sleeve top in the softest bamboo. She didn’t make a point of looking good while she slept, but the sage-green of the material went well with her eyes.
Collin’s gaze slid over her before he grabbed his stuff and disappeared into the bathroom.
