“You look like shit.”
His responding laugh is quiet, a hand moving up to brush the strands of hair away from above his eyes. “It’s great to see you too, Bahira.”
It’s the gentleness of his voice that relaxes my shoulders, but even that small relief isn’t enough to stop the next words fromtumbling out. “You left.” The accusation is thick despite how my voice cracks. “You knew what would come of it, and you left anyway.”
“I did, and if you’re looking for some sort of apology, you’ll be waiting forever for it. My only regret is that I did not return with Rhea.”
Anger sparks as I take a step towards him, Nox watching my movements with tired eyes. “Not even knowing that it would cause chaos? That our father might lose his crown, or that you might never get it? That we are being treated ascriminals?”
He shrugs, infuriating me further. “It wasn’t our family’s crown to begin with. It belongs to someone else.”
“How can you be so short-sighted?” I ask, taking a step towards him. “Do you think that your actions will truly bring you closer to Rhea? That, even if you weresomehowable to rescue her from King Dolian, the council would forget it all and justallowyou to keep your crown without consequence?”
His jaw clenches as he looks away. “I’msaying, I don’t want the crown at all, Bahira. The title, the throne, whatever you want to call it. It was never meant to be mine.”
I inhale sharply, my head jerking back. “What the fuck are you even talking about? It has onlyeverbeen yours.”
“That was before,” he says, his hands bracing the counter on either side of him.
“Beforewhat?”
“Before her.”
“Well, I guess fuck what that means for everyone else, right?” I snark, earning a glare from him. But, brother or not, I’m not going to sit by while he makes an ass of himself. And certainly not when our family’s power is on the line. Whatever is left of it. “It’s not that I don’t sympathize with you, Nox, about wanting to get her back. Ido. It’s that you went behind our back to do it.”
Several moments of silence pass before Nox walks to the table and pulls out a chair, sinking into it as if standing has been too exhausting. “I know,” he whispers, cradling his head, his elbows resting on the tabletop. “I didn’t keep it secret because I didn’t trust you with the information. I did it because—”
“You thought—accurately, I might add—that we would try to stop you.”
He nods, leaning back against the chair and tilting his head to look up at the ceiling. “I am desperate, and I’m afraid of what that desperation will turn me into.”
Nox is so good about hiding his true emotions. He’d have to be to survive undercover for as long as he did. But, looking at my brother now, I see everything he’s struggling with laid bare on his face. His own anger and sadness and guilt. Histerror. It propels me to the table too, taking a seat and placing a hand over his.
“You don’t know, Bahira, the horrors she’s gone through. You don’t know all that might happen now that she’s back in his grasp.” His throat works with a rough swallow. “She is strong—she always has been. So much stronger than she’d ever give herself credit for. But I failed her. Ilether get stolen from right out of my home. I trusted—blindly trusted—that she would be safe here, and that is a mistake that I won’t ever make again.” His eyes find mine as he lifts his head. “Even if it means hurting you—hurting our family—to ensure it.”
“Is that what Rhea would want?” I ask. At the look he gives me, I lift a shoulder and add, “I genuinely don’t know, Nox. Is it?”
His sigh is weighted. “No, it isn’t. She would undoubtedly ask me to work to ensure our father remains king. She wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt, certainly not in her name.” His lips quirk upwards. “Her reaction would be very queenly, even if she doesn’t believe herself to be one.”
I snort. “I suppose she’ll be happy you don’t want the throne, then.”
“She’ll be queen either way.”
“Hard for her to be queen if the heir to the throne doesn’t want to be king,” I counter, a brow arched.
He has the audacity to aim the expression back at me. “Not if the throne is actuallyhers.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, sitting upright. “The only way she could have any claim to it is if she marries you.” I shake my head, a laugh tumbling up my throat. “Not unless you’re insinuating she is the next Void queen or some—” I snap my mouth closed at the expression on his face, my eyes growing wide. “No.No. She wasn’t even born here, Nox. It’s impossible for her to carry Void Magic.”
“It isn’t,” he says, leaning forward so he can keep his voice low. “We did her Flame Ceremony before the ball.”
“What? Do our parents know?”
“No.”
“Fucking gods, Nox!” I whisper-shout, standing from the chair to begin pacing the room. “Why haven’t you said anything sooner?”
“It isn’t my information to share,” he answers, his gaze shooting to the door. “Rhea wanted time for us to talk about what that blue flamemeant. But I can’t trust that I won’t get myself killed trying to bring her back, and she’ll need as many allies as we can give her to claim the throne.”
