“No one else has attempted to address the magical blight as Bahira has,” my father adds, his profile strong as he looks down the table. “She is a pillar in our kingdom for her academic studies and her prowess as a warrior.”
“Those are not the only things she is known for,” Councilman Borris says in a low drawl. Confusion filters through me as a few of the other council members, including Arav, adjust in their seats uncomfortably.
My father’s voice is cold—deadly—when he encourages Borris to continue. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, gods above, Sadryn. You know. It is not the first time it’s been brought to this table.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, leaning forward to catch my father’s attention. His eyes soften when he looks at me, but it’s my mother’s voice that sends a chill up my spine.
“Howdareyou,” she seethes, her voice an octave I’ve never heard before. “To even suggest that the topic merits mention here is disgraceful. It’sunprecedentedand—”
“These are unprecedented times as you are well aware, Alexandria,” Kallin interrupts, and maybe it’s for the best that I don’t have magic because I would fuckingstrikethe councilman down where he sits if I did. My fist curls on the table, but mymother covers it with her hand. Her eyes are hard when I turn to face her, and a look that says,don’t give them a reactionis written across her face. But I’m still unsure of what the fuck they are even insinuating.
“What the princess does outside of her official duties, and who she chooses to do them with, is of no concern to this council nor is itanyone’sbusiness.” My father’s light purple magic faintly outlines his silhouette. Horror begins to creep in, my fears confirmed when I shoot my gaze to Daje who doesn’t look away for once. It’s the unintentional pity I see in his eyes that makes my cheeks heat.
How fucking dare they. To act as if who I fuck has any merit on who I am as a person. As if it should undercut all of the other things I’ve done in service to my kingdom like some negative footnote in the story of my life. Furious doesn’t begin to cover how I’m feeling, but it’s what twists within the rage that keeps me biting my tongue.
All my life, there has always been an asterisk to everything that I’ve done. I am Bahira Daxel, Princess of the Mage Kingdom.First born without magic.I am a scientist. Researcher. Academic.Haven’t figured out how to fix the magical blight.I am a skilled warrior who has bested all of my opponents.Cannot fight against magic. Back and forth, for the entirety of my twenty-two years of life, I have been split upon a scale of impossibilities and inadequacies. And I am done—sofuckingdone—with pretending like I’m more shield than woman.
“If you can’t even speak this supposedoffenseto my face, then at least have the decency to look as ashamed as you are trying to make me feel. You may look down on me for what you perceive me to lack or for not being whatever this fairytale vision of a princess is, but makenomistake, I am not afraid to slice off your acidic tongues and feed them to you in return.” The silencethat covers the room is subtle enough to make goosebumps bloom over my skin but strong enough to send shards of fractured egos spilling out onto the glittering stone floor.
Ihatethat Councilman Kallin is the one that breaks it.
“Tell us what occurred in the Shifter Kingdom, Bahira,” he says, as if the past few minutes have not transpired. As if it is nothing more than an item on a checklist, and now it is on to the next thing.
I have alwaysknownwhere I stand with the council, but it isn’t until this moment that Iunderstandit. How foolish I was to believe that I might gain any of their respect with nothing more than what I thought were the best parts of me. My mind. My tenacity. My strength. Now my family’s ability to remain on the throne rests in my grasp, and the only thing I can offer them is the truth.
Kallin’s fingers tighten around each other. “And we want theunabridgedversion, please.”
Memories of the past few months slam into me, and I try to force myself to detach any sentimental meaning to them. Because unlike Nox, I will choose my family first. Even if it means giving over parts of myself that feel as if they aren’t mine anymore. I draw in a deep breath and look directly at Daje’s father, prepared to recount my stay in the Shifter Kingdom in full when the words clog in my throat. The wrongness of giving these people—a councilintenton retaining power that never should have been theirs to claim in the first place—parts of me turns my stomach. I once again question what they might do with the information that Kai’s kingdom is in turmoil. That rebels have weakened his stance as king. And while that naïve part of me still wants to cling to the idea that we as mages are good and kind and opposed to violence, the hardened woman I’ve become is screaming within that trust is something to be given until it is betrayed. I may have trusted the council at onepoint, but now, as I glare at Kallin with a malice that has me itching for my spear, I admit to myself that there is nofuckingway I would trust them with Jahlee’s life. With Kai’s.
But giving themnothingis not an option.
“Princess—”
“I was kidnapped by the king’s uncle and kept prisoner in a dungeon,” I interrupt, Kallin’s stunned gaze worth admitting this piece of information. I take the silence that follows to launch into a version of my time in the Shifter Kingdom, highlighting once more my attempt to help with their blight—which I only reveal has to do with the length of time they are able to shift—while sprinkling in more of my personal experience with the king’s uncle, Tua, and his few rogue separatists who didn’t want Kai to be king. I leave out the salacious details between Kai and I, but I insinuate enough to hope that they believe I’m telling the truth.
I recount how Tua knew I didn’t have magic and had tried to kill memultipletimes in an attempt to start a skirmish between our two kingdoms, and how Kai then killed him because of me. My stomach churns, my heart pounding against my ribs wild as a caged animal, while I let everything come pouring out that might paint me in an unfavorable light but will keep Kai and his kingdom safe. When I’m finished, I force myself to stay upright, despite how every inch of me is begging to collapse.
Worthless.
Well, I wonder if I should addbetrayerto that too.
“As compelling as all of that is, how can we be sure she isn’t omitting anything?” Councilman Osiris asks, spittle flying from his mouth.
“She isn’t.” Daje’s voice is clear—firm—and his eyes don’t shy away again when I look at him.
“Son, I know as her friend, it is your inclination to believe her, but we need to ensure that nothing that may harm thiskingdom was given to the shifter king. Particularly after learning of the nature of hisrelationshipwith Bahira.”
Gods, do I really want to punch him.
“I’ve known Bahira for nearly my entire life. She is telling the truth.” He speaks so confidently that, for a moment, I forget. I forget about the ultimatum that led to our friendship separating. I forget that despite his vote of confidence, he ignored what must have been so clearly obvious because he thought he knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe, to a small degree, he does. Ordid. Jahlee had pointed out how I had blind spots in my life, things I thought were one way that, upon reflection and time away, proved to be another. I had seen it firsthand in the way Kai spoke to me, how he treated me before he knew the lies that I hid behind. He, like Daje, saw parts of me that no one else ever had. One man just represented my past while the other… He was just a footnote.
“Even if you thought Bahira was not being truthful, how would you rectify that?” my father asks, tapping a finger on the table. “What would you propose we do to question her?”
“There are ways to get information we need from those who refuse to talk,” Borris says, the corners of his mouth curling up. “You know this.”
The tapping on the table ceases, and the hair rises at the back of my neck asbothmy parents begin to glow with their magic. “You lay one hand on her, youfoulcreature, and I will ensure it is the last thing youeverdo.” It’s my mother who delivers the threat, but I keep my gaze pinned on Haylee’s uncle. If he makes a single move towards me—physical or with his magic—a death at my mother’s hand would be amercy.
