My chin drops to my chest as I force a rough exhale out. It was an apology, and it wasn’t. He had given me more than anyone else, and he had also hurt me with a fervor that rivaled Daje’s ultimatum. I had been comparing the two since the moment I saved Kai from the rebels that night in the jungle, but the one factor that had driven them both to a breaking point wasme. My inability to speak with Daje about how our relationship had changed created a rift between us that I suspect will never be filled, even if Ihadmarried him. My deception with Kai had tarnished something before it ever truly had the ability to shine. Maybe that was the way it would always be with me—a woman whose selfish desires would always consume those closest to her.
I was both too much and not enough, and the only way I could ever hope to achieve balance would be to finally claim the one thing that I placed above all else—my magic.
I had learned that magic and blood were connected, both through my own experiments and what Tua had hinted at concerning Kai’s father and mother. How I yearned to be ableto spend more time in the Shifter Kingdom and find those notes he mentioned. The journals that King Noa kept supposedly explainedexactlywhat he had learned and how he used that knowledge to somehow alter Kai. Had I been able to reach my parents through the Mirror, had a shifter named Siyala not strode into the throne room with a worried frown for the woman my brother returned from the Mortal Kingdom with, I would have stayed. Because I have never been that close to an answer before. Upon reflection, my previous experiments not only just barely touched the surface of a solution, but they were scratching the wrong one.
If I had stayed, perhaps Kai and I might have found a way to move past the mistakes that plagued us both. That cycle of “what ifs” has played in my mind far too many times on this voyage. Though it’s foolish to push the thoughts away after already reconciling with the fact thatignoringmy problems only makes them worse, I do so in favor of the newestpotentialdiscovery. The Spellhasto be connected to the siphoning of magic in my own kingdom and the blight in Kai’s. As eager as I am to make sure everything is alright with my family, I’m just as anxious to dig deeper into knowledge about the Spell.
Sandy tan beaches and the Mage Kingdom’s dock loom closer. The sun is warm on the crown of my head as I steel my spine and lift my chin. Though the sight of my people and the other boats docked is a welcome familiarity, something still prickles like an itch I cannot scratch. Surely, if there was something wrong with the king and queen, or the crown prince, these people would not be carrying on with life as if there wasn’t, right?
I bid farewell to Akamu and Vetu when we dock, Laki carrying my trunk, while I hoist my pack—my spear slid into its loops—onto my back. We walk the length of the pier, this space a concoction of mostly mages but also a few fae unloading goodson one side and mortals doing the same on the other. It has been over two centuries since the Spell went up, plenty of time for each kingdom to figure out the most efficient way to drop goods off and then leave. Our trades have certainly diminished over time, whittled down to only the most basic essentials for each kingdom that couldn’t be grown, produced, or unearthed on their lands or by their people.
The salt air mixes with the pungent odors of sweaty bodies and produce and meat, and by the time I descend the small wooden flight of stairs to the soft sand below, my nose is stuck in a crinkle. The wall of the Spell shimmers in front of me, and Laki places my trunk gently at his feet before shifting his stance, glowering at a few mages who stare in his direction.
“Thank you, Laki, for offering to sail the ship and for carrying my luggage.” I extend my hand out to him, watching his apprehension give way to appreciation as he clasps his hand around mine. Those gazes feel weightier now, the people—mypeople—staring with unabashed interest. Releasing his hand, I turn and scan those on the other side of the Spell, calling a man over.
“Yes, Princess Bahira?” he rushes out, his steps skidding to a stop and sending sand gliding over my boots.Princess. I hear the title in my ear said by a smokier voice, one deep and harsh. One that could carve between valleys as easily as it slid over my skin, leaving me wanton and wanting.
Swallowing down thoughts of the shifter king, I address the man. “Can you please arrange for a carriage to come pick me up?” He rushes out an “of course”before bolting towards where the trees grow thick just beyond the beach. I turn to Laki who dips his chin, a small grin curling his lips.
“Until next time, Bahira.”
I fight back the strange woven thicket of emotions that scratch at my throat and repeat, “Until next time.” As he returnsto the ship with the others, their orders not to linger long, I silently hope that the journey back home for them is uneventful. Then I face forward and heft up my trunk, walking through the Spell. The unease I had hoped would be squashed upon setting foot in my kingdom still writhing within.
It’s a short trip to the palace, and I watch the trees as they pass through the window with that uncomfortable tightness growing larger in my chest. It’s strange to return to the only home I have ever known and feel like things aren’t quite right anymore. Is it because I am worried for my family? Or is it that for the first time in my life, my heart feels split between two places.Gods, this is going to be a fucking terrible next few weeks if I can’t get my emotions under control.
When the carriage slows and turns, and the front of the palace comes into view, I scoot as close as I can to the window. While nothing is on fire, that worry thankfully proven false, palace guardsarestationed both at the top of the white stone steps that lead to the front doors and spread around the grounds in both directions. My brows furrow, and as my ride comes to a stop and the guard operating as my driver opens the door, I ask, “What is going on?”
“I do not know, Your Highness,” he answers, clearing his throat. “The king and queen requested extra guards at all entrances to the palace the morning after the Autumnal Ball, but they have not yet given an explanation as to why. Though it may have something to do with the body—” My eyes snap to his as he halts his words, his lips pinching together while pink tints his cheeks. “Sorry, Your Highness. I am not supposed to speak of it.”
“Please ensure my trunk is brought to my room.” I don’t wait for him to agree before I dart past him and down the walkway,right to where three guards wait, blocking the stairs. All of them do a double take before recognition dawns on their faces. They let me pass easily, my feet taking the steps two at time as one of them shouts up to the men guarding the landing. “Make way for the Princess!”
My breaths seize in my chest as I climb, a million scenarios playing in my mind.The body. Whose? Surely, it cannot be Nox or Daje. I would know.I would know.
The double doors to the palace are pulled open, the detailed celestial carvings on their fronts catching a trickle of golden sunlight cutting through the canopy above. My boots beat against the glittering black stone floors of the foyer as I pivot and turn directly towards my father’s office. The presence of guards is overwhelming, some simply walking the perimeter and halls, while another small group stands at the base of the stairs that lead up to the higher levels. A frantic whimper lodges itself in my throat, but I force it to stay there, unwilling to give in to my fear. My arms pump at my sides as I run down the corridor, blood rushing in my ears. I can’t sense magic, not like anormalmage, but I still try to feelsomething. Anything to indicate my family is okay.
A door creaks down the hall before a figure steps from a room and blocks my path. I suck in an inhale, slowing my speed as my attention devolves from the chaos churning through my mind to the man standing in front of me. He runs a hand over the top of his bowed head, his shoulders drooped in defeat. Upon hearing my steps, his gaze snaps up and his hand falls abruptly to his side as he gapes at me.Short brown hair. Tawny brown skin. Piercing blue eyes. We stare at each other, mirrors of the same shock expressed on both of our faces.
“Daje,” I whisper.
“Bahira,” he rasps back.
Chapter Four: Bahira
Hisshockonlyseizeshim for a few seconds before he eats up the remaining distance between us in just a few strides. His hands frame my face, my own clutching his wrists.
“Are you okay? You’re home earlier than expected. Did you— Was it because—” He swallows, his eyes searching mine for answers to the questions that dangle perilously between us.
Did I come home early for him? Does this mean I will marry him?Fucking gods, I hate that my gut response is to get angrywith him. Not because I actuallyam, but because this seems unimportant compared towhateverelse is wrong here.
“Please tell me what is going on with the guards? Is my family well?”
Daje’s thumbs slide over my cheekbones, his touch on me gentle as if he’s holding something delicate. We both know I’m anything but. Slowly, I draw his hands away, and something flashes in his expression that’s there and gone in the length of a blink. “A lot has happened in the past few days,” he answers, his voice lowering while his attention focuses on something behind me. “It’s best to hear it directly from your father. Come on, he and your mother are in the council room.” He takes my hand, his fingers trembling in mine.
“Daje, you did not answer my question. Is my familyalright?” In the silence that grows, I bounce my focus from Daje to the hallway and back again. Nothinglooksout of place, but everythingfeelswrong. As we near the door to the council room, he finally answers me.
“I honestly don’t know.” Then he tugs on the door, and I step into chaos.
Each of the council members is standing around the ancient wooden table, their cheeks stained red as eyes of gray, blue, and brown bore into each other with ferocity. My fatherglowersfrom the head of the table, his gaze firmly fixed on Daje’s father as the men speak through gritted teeth. The other council members argue around them, Borris and Osiris’s voices the loudest amongst the group. My focus shifts from the table to the startling cracks that trickle up the large wall to the right of the table and up to the ceiling, where one of the chandeliers hangs crookedly. The jagged cuts into the stone spread like a spiderweb down the length of the room and to the adjacent wall, right to where a woman with familiar curly brown hair is standing and staring out one of the windows to the forest beyond, her handcradling the side of her face. I let go of Daje, tension bracketing my shoulders as I make my way to my mother, ignoring the council as my boots crunch over loose debris.
