Kai. Her voice scrapes over my mind and down my spine, igniting me as my release barrels through me. I come hard, her name mixed with a grunt as I rock my hips until every part of me is wrung empty. “Fuck.” Resting my forehead against the tile, I play through every intimate moment we’d had together while I catch my breath.
She is the sweetest torture; she always has been. Even when my attraction to her was something I fought as hard as I could, when it confused me as much as it made me curious. But thoughts of Bahira also lead down a darker path, one tainted in the whispers of her lies and the brashness of my response. One that reminds me that weeks have passed since I watched her ship sail away, and I have yet to hear from her. One that has me wondering if what I remember of our interactions is actually true or if the connection between us was imagined. A fabrication of a lonely mind and wanting a woman I couldn’t fully have.
Once I’m as settled as I can be, I finish washing up and step out of the shower, wrapping a thick cotton towel around my hips.
Word had spread about Bahira and Kane’s encounter with my uncle and his rebels, and in the wake of Tua’s betrayal—and his subsequent death—each day has been spent weeding out those who want to continue his vision and see me removed from the throne. Far too many of my people have been apprehended and thrown in the dungeons, their fates to be decided by a committee of my choosing. Jahlee’s eyes had glinted in feral delight at the mention of the new council, though I had to disappoint my sister when I told her I needed her brandof expertise elsewhere. That expertise being her excellence at making people so uncomfortable that they begin to spill their secrets. With Haloa’s protection, Jahlee has spent time in Molsi identifying rebels and their sympathizers. A task that is not only necessary but allows my sister the freedom I know she desperately craves.
Truthfully, getting her out of the palace and into the city was onlypartiallydue to feeling guilty about cooping her up here before. But, she more than proved herself during the rebel attack on the palace, taking down male, female, and animal alike with an ease I hadn’t given her credit for. Alternatively, when she didn’t have anything else to focus on, all of her energy turned on me and how I was going to rectify things with Bahira.
I was able to fend her off the first week, citing Bahira’s travel back to her kingdom and the time it would take her to get settled and make sure all was well. But as another week passed with no word from the mage princess, it got harder and harder to stave off Jahlee’s urging, especially when it wasn’t just her that wanted to hear from Bahira. I gave in, calling out to King Sadryn not once or twice but three fucking times, only to be met with silence.
After dressing, I comb through my hair with my fingers, pulling the strands back before taking a seat at the edge of my bed, wallowing in the thoughts of my mistakes. I had a lifetime of saying and doing the wrong things, yet the look on Bahira’s face as I called herworthlessis a memory that doesn’t just haunt me more than anything else, it sits like venom in my veins. Burning through my body like penance.
I should have said more to her before she left. Should have insisted that she understood I was wrong—sofuckingwrong—for ever insinuating what I did. She had changed me, simply because of who she was. Her brilliance and strength, that determination that sometimes drove me through a fucking walland other times made me ache to wrap my hand around her throat and fuck her until we both forgot all else. Her sharp tongue and irreverent nature. All of it pushed me to do better. Tobebetter. With her, there were no limits to the type of king I could be, only the ones I put on myself.
She had been mine for a brief moment in time, and then she was justgone.
Tilting my head back, I allow another few seconds of her face in my mind before I push it all down and stand, getting dressed before exiting my room. Two guards stand in the hall in front of me, another one of Jahlee’s insistences. Though this one was easier to accept, considering there had already been multiple attempts on my life.
“Your Majesty,” they say in unison as I walk past them. I manage to grunt out a greeting before heading to the east wing for an unofficial meeting with my newly appointed advisors. The palace is bustling, preparations for the belated autumnal celebration underway.
A cackling laugh echoes from ahead of me, and I can’t help my smirk when I spot my sister engaging with a few males who look worse off for it. “If you thought this was me being unreasonable, then you have no idea what I am capable of!”
“Lady Jahlee, there isn’t—”
“Princess,” I rumble, cutting off the shorter of the two who stand across from Jahlee. “You are speaking withPrincessJahlee. Or have you forgotten how titles work?” His throat works with a nervous swallow, his fear thick in the air between us as he tips his head back to look up at me. Jahlee snorts, rolling her eyes in feigned annoyance, though I don’t miss the small smile that tugs on the corners of her mouth.
“My apologies, Your Majesty—”
“It isn’t I who was slighted. Direct your regret to the person you’ve wronged.”
He sputters out an agreement before bowing to my sister, his companion doing the same. “I truly meant no harm; it’s just the princess is asking for something to be added to tonight’s festivities that will be impossible to make in the time allotted.”
My brow arches as I turn towards Jahlee, who only offers a shrug of her shoulders as she rocks back on her heels.
“She wants an ice sculpture of you, Your Majesty, and I just don’t think we will have the time!”
“An ice sculpture…” I let the sentence fade as I catch Jahlee’s smile widening. “That, of course,isunreasonable and not something that is necessary to begin with. Pretend she never said a thing about it.” Both males nod furiously before bowing again and bolting down the hall. Jahlee laughs at my side, drawing my gaze. “An ice sculpture? Really?”
“It isn’t I who was slighted,” she mocks in return, her voice dropping low in an attempt to sound like mine. “I can see your new role as king is going to your head.”
“I’ve been king for years, Jahlee.”
She waves her hand in the air between us before tossing her wavy dark brown hair over her shoulder. “You know what I mean.” Looping her arm around mine, I let her turn us in the direction of the dining hall. “Are you ready to see your new advisors?”
“They aren’t in their roles yetofficially,” I remind her, walking past a few workers who offer more greetings with the use of my title. Though I push for that level of respect for Jahlee, having it given to me so frequently is something I am not yet used to.
Prior to the outing of the rebels, Tua had never encouraged those around us to address me with the level of respect—and fear—one might assume for a king. At the time, I thought he was trying to make me seem more approachable. Like I might not care so much that I was ruler, only that I wanted to helpmy people in whatever way I could. Now I recognize it for what Bahira saw so clearly in her limited time here: a way to undermine me. To present me as someone weak.
“They’ve been vetted enough, and with how little the pool of candidates was to choose from, I should hope that they are good enough for the job,” she says, her movements carrying an excited energy as we near the open door to the dining hall. She’s right about the lack of qualified males and females I could choose that hadenoughknowledge to fill the roles left by the previous group of rebel supporters. The corner of my mouth lifts as I think about Sir Duarte and Lady Aisha—the previous Masters of Coin—sitting in the dark and dirty cells beneath the palace. Their arrest had felt a hell of a lot more satisfying than any of the others.
Jahlee and I enter the larger dining room, drawing the gazes of those gathered around a large table. The scent of baked goods and fresh fruit linger in the air, and I scan those already seated as I take my own chair at the head of the table.
“Good morning, everyone!” she sings, plopping down into a chair to my left.
“Must you always beso loud,” my cousin drawls from his seat at the opposite end. Dark circles stain the skin beneath his eyes as he narrows them in Jahlee’s direction. She only smiles in response, flashing all her teeth as she wiggles her fingers dramatically at him. She had not wanted Kane to be part of anything new we are building. She believes that he had nothing to do with what his father planned, but her disdain for the male who had often treated her like shit is a slight she has no interest in forgiving. Not that I blame her. Unfortunately, Kane’s presence is a necessity for both him and me. It shows those who support me that he can be trusted, and though it pains me to admit it, I need him. Kane may be an annoying prick on his absolute best day, but no one knows how to work a crowd of nobles better than he does. He’s also knowledgeable on the lawsand policies of our kingdom in a way that only someone who was actually raised to be king can be.
“Shall we begin?” the Master of Laws and only remaining advisor from before Tua’s death, Lady Miranda, says. She leans forward and rests her elbows on the table, her snow-white hair pulled back from her face. Its color reminds me ofanotherfemale whose presence has disrupted the kingdom. “Is everyone here familiar with everyone else?”
