Help me, the rasp of my voice echoes in my mind.Help me. Cold rises from my stomach, and for the briefest of moments, I feel them both—life and death. It all settles heavily on me, an answer to my pleas. Then, having met the requirement for healing the guards, my magic abruptly dissipates until I’m completely severed from it again. My eyes flare, hands stilloutstretched towards the glowing guards. I can’t help the quiet whimper of longing that slips out before my knees crash into the grass, knocking the air from my lungs.
“That is the last for today.” Xander’s voice booms before he squats next to me and waits for the men to leave, the garden falling silent except for the sound of my heaving breaths. “Rhea—”
“I’m fine.” I grasp the final drops of my energy to push myself up, only to nearly topple back over. Xander steadies me, and I allow his touch for a few seconds before stepping out of it.
“Did the king hurt you that night?” he asks, the words rushed and so unlike him that I whip my head in his direction. “You know I have people in this castle that I trust. One of them saw you and him in the hallway outside your room and…” He takes a breath. “Did he hurt you?”
My gaze falls to the ground, the shouts of those men on the beach echoing more loudly in my head. It’s at least preferred to the memory Xander brings up. “You’re asking a question you already know the answer to.”
“I am tryingeverythingthat I can, Rhea, to get that ring off of you,” he says, a desperate edge to his voice. “To work around the king’s magic so that you can—”
“I know,” I interrupt, my thumb pushing at the cool pearl ring on my finger. I had tried to findsomethingtoo, only to come up empty handed.
“Come with me to meet the resistance. See the men and women anxious to help not just me or you but all of Vitour. All of the Mortal Kingdom.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea,” I answer, stepping past Xander towards the castle. Every part of me aches, my eyelids growing heavier with each step. Behind the pain and exhaustion, a hollowness lives within me. Reminding me that I’m nothingbut a blank canvas for the king to paint his worst plans on. A shell of a woman, more than ever before.
“Why not?”
“It isn’t safe.” Not a lie, yet not my whole reasoning.
“Look, it’s none of my business—I know this—but I want to help you. I know it was hard hearing about Nox—”
“That’s not— He isn’t— This isn’t about him.” Hearing his name spoken out loud flusters me.
“Then tell mewhathappened.”
I stop, my chest already heaving as I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t want to do this right now, but I force myself to turn and face him. “I know about Bella.”
Xander’s eyes grow wide with shock. “What do you know about her?”
“King Dolian told meeverything.How she was held in the dungeon. The torture you both inflicted on her.Her death.” My voice shakes, but the anger loses out to my fatigue.
Xander doesn’t move, doesn’t seem to breathe as his eyes bounce between mine. I turn and resume stalking to the palace, Xander’s steps falling behind my own a few moments later. He follows me silently to my room, where Brisk takes up his post. Shutting the door, I cross the sitting room to my bedroom, undressing just enough to crawl back into bed, where I shut my eyes and beg for sleep.
I manage to avoid dinner with my uncle, and later Eve’s knock at my bedroom door stirs me from a light sleep. Her blue eyes flare with something that looks like concern when I open the door, but she masks it beneath a pretty smile as she waves a small white paper bag in front of me. It’s nondescript, but even if it weren’t for the sweet scent emanating from it, I’d recognize it. It’s from the confectionary shop Alexi used to visit.
“The king asked that I pick up some things at the city center, so I justhadto have you try the chocolate creams there!”Turning, she returns to the sitting room and lays the chocolates out of a napkin on one of the tea tables, talking about the flavors of each one. When she realizes I haven’t joined her yet, she lifts her gaze back to mine. “What’s wrong?”
“What isn’t?” I scrape out, and immediately regret it. Her expression dims as she takes a step towards me, her hands nervously fidgeting with the white apron of her dress. Despite the late hour, she’s still working, and guilt barrels into me for that. Because I can’t bear to wipe the smile from her face completely, I force my lips into a grin and walk to the tea table, taking a seat on the ground before grabbing a chocolate at random and popping it into my mouth. “Tell me again about how you keep avoiding Edwin’spropositions,” I say as I chew.
She laughs, her shoulders relaxing before she undoes her blonde hair from the tight bun she keeps it in, and launches into another take of her and the man who loves her. But even the light conversation doesn’t change how the chocolate tastes like ash in my mouth, nor does it chase away the numb feeling that pricks at me when we finish and she bids me goodnight.
Lying in bed, I stare at the ceiling for a long while, until my eyes grow watery and eventually close. I sink into welcome darkness, and quietly hope that it will hold me in its clutches forever.
Chapter Sixty-Nine: Rhea
Thisisadream.
I know it by the small details—the way the air is just a little too warm and my body is just a little too relaxed. Sun gleams above me as I drag my fingers along delicate rose and carnation petals, the softness something I once only fantasized I would get to feel. But this flower garden isn’t one I’m familiar with.
“I wanted to talk with you, but with your magic blocked, I cannot call you to the Middle.”
“Selene?” I mean to speak her name, but instead, I hear my voice echo in my head.
“Yes.”
I reach the end of the row of flowers, staring out at a white structure that is covered with long green vines, tiny white flowers dotting them every few inches. There’s something striking about the building, something I might recognize, but when I try to examine it, my body moves on its own command and turns down the next row in the garden. This one is filled with more roses, lilacs and lavender also planted in neat lines. The scent of them is in each breath I take.
