My hands brace my hips as I sort through the information I’ve learned. Jahlee’s letter had been intercepted, and whatever she wrote in it is now causing problems for Bahira. It’s clear King Dolian has someone inside the Mage Kingdom, someone close enough to the Crown. And I have no doubts that Lady Nele is actually Rhea. Siyala had given me a description of the woman King Dolian imprisoned in a tower.
In one short conversation, two worst-case scenarios are now confirmed: Rhea is back with the mortal king and Bahira is worse off because of her time here. The urge to leave the island hits me hard, as it has every day that has passed, but leaving my kingdom now feels impossible. And telling Jahlee and Siyala what I’ve learned? They would be devastated.
I spend a lot of time replaying the events of the day in my mind as I lug myself up to my room to bathe. I never wanted to be king, but I thought that perhaps, with enough determination, I might be able to make it work. To dull everything that made mesharp and dangerous into something more refined. Something deserving of the power that flows in my blood. But if today’s events are any indication, I can’t reform myself any more than I can control the tides.
I am Kai Vaea, king of the shifters and a damnfool.
Chapter Sixty-One: Bahira
Thecloudsoverheadturnedgray quickly, my view of them unobstructed from my spot on the training fields, an archery target in front of me. My mind needed the quiet that only physical movement could provide, and though I used to find myself tumbling into the bed of another at a moment like this, the thought of hands on me that do not belong to a giant male with a wicked mouth and warm brown eyes is as unappealing now as it was weeks ago.
Blowing out a breath, I nock my arrow, pulling it back until I feel the bowstring’s resistance, the strain on my muscles a welcome distraction. Seconds pass as I wait for the right moment to release, my heart beating softly against my ribs as I allow my eyes to fall closed.Breathe. I tune into my surroundings—the cool air scented with rain from the incoming storm, the soft fabric of my cloak as it brushes against my bare arms. One by one, each part of me settles in the present where there is no over-reaching council. No threat to my father’s throne. No faraway shifter king occupying all of my thoughts. No experiments or worries about the Spell or a broken Mirror. There is only me and the weapon I’m holding.
I release the arrow, the sound of it traveling through the air and hitting the target bringing a smile to my face.
“A perfect shot.” My eyes open at the sound of Haylee’s voice behind me, and I turn to watch her crest a small hill as she makes her way to me. “I forget sometimes just how talented you are with other weapons because you prefer the use of your spear.”
I smirk, dropping the bow to my side while I reach for the quiver at my back, pulling another arrow from it. “You’ve likely got me beat in the sword department,” I counter.
“You flatter me.”
It isn’t exactly flattery. Haylee is a talented warrior with training as extensive as my own. As her friend, it makes me proud to know that she could hold her own if it ever came to it. She stands in front of me in black trousers and a dark blue long-sleeved shirt, crossing her arms against the cool wind that pulls strands of her dark blonde hair free from her usual braided coronet.
“How are you, Bahira?” she asks, tilting her head to the side. “And I want therealanswer. Not the one you give everyone else.”
“You know things are…precariousright now. The most they’ve ever been.” I turn back to face the wooden targets, my previous arrow sticking out of the center of the farthest. I prepare to nock the next one, rolling my shoulders back and adjusting my stance. “I’m just trying to put current fires out before new ones start.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” She watches me line up, my fingers pulling the bow string back as I inhale deeply. “Is one of those fires your brother?”
I arch a brow on instinct, keeping my gaze on the target. “He certainly isn’t making things easier.”
Not that I could sincerely blameonlyhim. My brother has been kept busy by the council, and while I’m grateful that their focus on him has drawn them away from me, there’s something odd about how much time they are spending with him. Even my father has been kept on the sideline, the council claiming that they are simply assuring that Nox is doing well enough to deal with the public pressure that’s been building ever since the ball. Including the fact that a body had been discovered and a guard had also gone missing. Toss in the rumor-fueled gossip that both of those things happened the same night Rhea supposedlyabandonedNox, and I suppose Icanunderstand why they are preparing him. Still, understanding it doesn’t mean that it also doesn’t feelwrong.
Releasing the arrow, I watch it hit its mark just slightly off center.Damn it.
“May I?” Haylee asks, holding her hand out for the bow. I grab another arrow, giving that to her as well.
“Why were you so insistent that Nox get engaged to you?” I ask as she nocks her arrow, her stance opposite of my own.
“I’m sure that interaction with your brother seemed odd. Given our last conversation.”
“It’s more that I’m confused by the whole thing.” I expect a quick retort or a witty response, but instead, Haylee keeps her gaze forward, spending way too much time readjusting her stance. I take a step closer to her, worry gnawing at my gut. “What’s really going on, Haylee?”
Her brows furrow as another cold gust blows through the training field, pulling a few more tendrils of hair from her makeshift crown. “Have you ever felt trapped?” she asks, the corners of her mouth drawing down as if she doesn’t like her own question. “I suppose it’s insensitive of me to askyouthat.”
I let out a rough laugh, following her gaze to the targets in front of us. “We already know my feelings on being magicless. It’s nothing you haven’t heard a hundred times already. But what hasyoufeeling trapped?”
She sighs, planting her feet more firmly as she lifts the bow. “Did I ever tell you that when I was growing up, my uncle would take me on tours of your palace?”
“You didn’t.”
“It was the only time we ever had one on one. So often he was busy with the council or pushing me into another class, another lesson. But, occasionally, we would walk the foyer, and he would point to the different paintings and tapestries, explaining the history of your family. Of the Void queens that came before them.” She begins to pull the bowstring back, her bicep flexing. “And wealwaysstopped to linger in two rooms, one of which was the council chambers. At first, I had looked around that room in awe.There is power to be had in this room, Haylee,he would tell me, a hand gripping my shoulder. Not like a father would—he’s never cared about me enough to evenpretendabout showing that level of emotion—but for him, for the relationship between us, well, I cherished it. I lived for the attention he gave me because it came so rarely. In those moments, he taught mejust how valuable status and reputation was to gaining power and, in return, what opportunities arose from it.”
I swallow roughly. I knew that Councilman Borris had been hard on Haylee. Growing up, she often complained about the pressure placed on her to be the best at everything she attempted. I had thought it was nothing more than Borris preparing her for life as a future council member.
“Don’t pity me,” she says, and I shake my head, my mouth opening to explain that having empathy isn’t the same as pitying her, but she cuts her eyes towards me. “I would not change the way he raised me.” The arrow sings through the air as she releases it, and it embeds in the center target right next to my own. “The bastard may have been brutish, cruel at times even, but he wasn’t entirely wrong in his approach. I have spent a lifetime trying to appease him, trying to prove that I’m worthy of him taking me in instead of letting me go to the orphanage when my parents died. I have obeyed every single rule in order to be valuable in his eyes. And though you may hear that and immediately think me a fool, I see it for what my uncle taught me: If I want something badly enough, I have to work for it.”
A storm of emotion swirls in her gray eyes as she turns to me, pressing the bow into my hands. “What is it thatyouwant, Haylee?” I ask.
