His responding growl is a vicious sound, and Ishouldbe terrified by it. My traitorous body, however, is nothing but aroused, my core slick with an unsatiated need. Kai dips his head closer to me, his inhale long and deep at the base of my neck. My pulse rages a breath beneath his mouth, while his fingers clamp down even harder. His other hand grips onto my ponytail, slowly wrapping it around his knuckles as he fists it. In one quick tug, he bares my neck completely to him. My nipples rub against the soaked fabric of my clothing, the friction made more rough against his chest. The inferno within me turns blazing when he skates his teeth slowly up the delicate skin of my neck, his groan mixing with a snarl hot against me.
“What happened with the third one? The largest of the three?”
I ache for more of his touch, for his tongue and his teeth to ravage my mouth and my body like I instinctively knowhe can. My brain is in overdrive as I force another swallow down and wait for him to lift his gaze back up to mine. I need to take some control back because this is too vulnerable.Iam too vulnerable right now, and that thought scares me more than facing the fucking skull-wearing rebels with weapons.
Kai finally raises his head, his scent intoxicating and everywhere as his mouth hovers over mine. My voice is steady, and I subtly push my chest more into his as I practically groan, “I drove my spear into his side.”
“Fuck,” he growls, his gaze dipping down to my mouth as his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. “You’re a godsdamncurse.”
I get in one quick inhale before his mouth is on mine. The kiss is hot and insistent, sinfully better than I ever could have imagined. He tastes like something primal and powerful, and I suck his tongue farther into my mouth to get more of it. Kai’s grip is unforgiving, the squeeze at my neck and pull of my hair only setting me more aflame. Each drive of our tongues and clash of our teeth is a move made to take the other down, but so far, we are evenly matched. I bite down on his lower lip, the tangy taste of iron making me moan as I suck it into my mouth.
“Don’t fuckingbiteme unless you’re willing to let me mark you in return,” he snaps as he pulls back, though his voice lacks any sort of authority and is instead laced thickly with lust.
I free one of my hands from the hold on my spear between us and grip his chin, my nails digging in as I force him back to me. “Don’t tell me what to do,” I whisper against his lips.
His chest rumbles with the kind of noise that is a precursor to danger, a warning to all that something predatory is coming. And fuck me if I don’t want to be his prey.
Kai’s lips are warm and surprisingly soft as they press back into mine, the sensation drawing a yearning from deep within me that begs to mark them up somehow. I want to scratch and claw at him until my signature iseverywhere. I squeeze my hand tighter, surely causing pain from the way my nails indent his skin, but Kai only deepens our kiss, accompanying it with another dark growl low in his throat. His body is hard against my own, his muscles perfectly carved to fit against me. My rationality is gone, and in its place—driven more wild by eachflick of his tongue against my own—is a feral desire that I have never felt with anyone else before.
For all the times that we have battled back and forth for dominance with each other, when it really mattered, Kai didn’tquestionif I would be able to handle myselfandprotect him. The feelings that arise from knowing that hetrustsme this way nearly take me out of the moment, but I force them away to be dealt with at another time.
I finally release his jaw, sliding my hand up to the soaked strands of his hair. Threading my fingers into it, I pull hard until he’s forced to let go of my mouth, thunder cracking in the sky above us.
“Bahira.” He rumbles my name like the curse he called me, like a poison he craves despite knowing it could destroy him.
Which is precisely how I feel. Pulling against Kai’s grip on me, I stand on my toes and drag my tongue up his throat, the flavor of salt and citrus and rain exploding over my taste buds and forcing me deeper into this haze where he is the only thing I want to lose myself in. Kai resists when I try to push his head down towards me again, his swollen lips forming a line.
“What would yourboyfriendhave to say about this?” he drawls, halting my movements.
Fucking Daje. I loosen my grip on the shifter king, and he follows suit, though our chests stay flush together. “He isn’t my boyfriend,” I rush out, my breaths quick as though I’ve been caught doing something wrong.
Kai lifts a brow, his eyes cooling right before me under the moonlight. “He’s definitelysomebodyto you.”
“My best friend,” I say simply, but that answer satisfies neither of us. Kai can sense there is more to the story, and Iknowthat there is no explanation I’m willing to give him right now on it.
As the cool rain stings my skin and pulls me back into reality, Daje, his ultimatum, and the life waiting for me at home floods back in. I pull against Kai’s hold, his hands immediately letting me go as I take a step backward. His rigidity returns, the armor he wears in front of his kingdom going on layer by layer as he silently walks past me and down the trail back to the palace. I linger for a moment, closing my eyes and tilting my face up towards the sky before I turn and follow behind him, my words silent but my mind a ferocious discord.
I replay the moment Kai told me to grab my spear. How he didn’t look fearful at all as he collapsed to the ground. I can’t help but compare it to what Daje would have done. He would have told me to run or tried to drag me away until the poison took effect. He would have stood in front of me until he was no longer capable of standing. All of those things are admirable and heroic, but none of them are thingsIwant—need—from a partner. I am not a princess looking for her knight in shining armor. This version of myself, the one who fought to piece herself together to beenoughuntil I could bewhole, is a warrior. A work in progress and incomplete, yes, but a warrior nonetheless. One who only wanted to be with someone if they saw that value in me as well.
My answer for Daje becomes startlingly clear. I can’t marry him, and if sacrificing his friendship is the cost of that choice, then so be it. I refuse to let the consequences of Daje’s own actions slowly tear apart everything I’ve spent my life crafting.
My inner thoughts begin to settle the farther we walk, and so too does the storm above, leaving only the glimmering stars and a mild breeze in its wake. We arrive at the palace, passing shifters that don’t hide their gawking at our disheveled appearance. Climbing the stairs, Kai stops with me in front of my door, the tension between us palpable and made thicker with actions that can’t be undone.
“Thank you for protecting me,” he says slowly, like the words are being forced from his mouth. I dip my chin but look up at him through my lashes. He studies me for another moment before something makes his expression stony once more. The transformation is unexpected and has my body bracing—though for what, I don’t know. “Everything that happened afterwards was a mistake. The ramifications of poison clouding my judgement.”
It’s hard to deny the way my heart dips, but could I expect anything else? Did I evenwantanything else? Anything beyond the physical attraction between us is a distraction and doomed to fail anyway.
“Of course,” I respond, my hand already reaching for the doorknob behind me. “It was a stressful moment, and we responded in kind. No need to make it a big deal.” Turning the handle, I step backwards into my room. “It won’t happen again.”
“You’re acting weird,” Jahlee says from where she is lying on her stomach on my bed, her feet moving idly behind her. The dark blue fabric of her dress flows out on either side of her, matching a similarly blue pants and top that I’m wearing.
“You don’t know me well enough to know if I am acting weird,” I reply, flipping through a mage journal while lounging in an armchair adjacent to the bed.
Jahlee had brought breakfast to me this morning—complete with her singing a song loudly enough to wake up the entire palace. We hadn’t found much of interest in the library, nothing that would possibly lead to me understanding how this blight started.
“That’s true, but I know my brother pretty well, andhewas definitely acting weird this morning.” My fingers twitch on thecorner of the page I’m holding between them. “And since the two of you spent yesterday together and you get defensive when I bring him up—”
“I donotget defensive when you bring him up.” I argue, turning in my chair to look at her.
