My heart batters my ribcage, my stomach growing more uneasy as the reality of the past few minutes catches up with me. A warm, tingling sensation starts to accumulate in my palms, drawing my gaze from Cassius and down to my hands where my magic is glowing. I quickly make fists, hoping that the brightness of the beach under the sun hides the white light from anyone who happens to be looking. Cassius shifts on his feet behind me, and when I look back over my shoulder again, his smile has lessened and a line has appeared between his brows.
What if he saw?
I don’t know what Flynn’s plans are for me anymore or if he intends to tell anyone about my magic, but my innate response is to force it back inside of me, like everything else I either don’twantorknowhowto deal with. I cross my arms over my chest, my fists tucking under them as I focus on trying to breathe through the swelling emotions roiling within.
A throat clears, fingers caressing my arm and causing me to flinch as I turn away from Cassius. Flynn stands in front of me, his face stern while he stares at his best friend. I look down at the way he is touching me, his large hand gently laid on my forearm, and have to swallow back tears that threaten to spill. It was onlythis morningthat I would have let him touch me anywhere he wanted. It was mere hours ago that his presence was the only thing I had needed to feel like I was home.
“Sunshine, we can go now.” Flynn extends his hand and then drops it when he realizes I’m not giving him my own. “I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but I promise I can explain.” He tilts his head to the side, trying to catch my gaze, and when I finally give it to him, all the effort of holding my tears back is for nothing. His eyes gleam with an eager anxiousness, but it’s the other emotion that I see in them that has my own eyes overflowing.
Love.Pure, unfiltered love looks back at me. And it isn’t fair because I may have never been in any sort of romantic relationship before, but Iknowthat you don’t lie to people you love. The juxtaposition of the look in his eyes and that of his secretive actions leaves me feeling completely suffocated.
I nod my head, unsure of what else to do or say, and follow Flynn as he leads us off the beach. I keep my gaze down, looking only at his steps ahead of me, while inside my mind, I’m screaming in frustration. In panic and confusion.In anger.
Once we are off the beach, walking on a path in the shade provided by the abundant trees, I blow out a breath, tugging my loosened braid over my shoulder and nervously twisting the strands. Flynn walks beside me now, so closely that our arms graze with each step, Cassius taking his place behind us. His parents’ voices sound farther back, but I focus on the light wood carriages up ahead and am reminded of the conversation we had on our way to the beach.
After we see what is going on at the beach, I will introduce you to my parents and we can talk more,Flynn had said.Did he know his supposed truths were about to be exposed for what they actually were—polished lies? Gods, I had evenfeltlike he was on the verge of telling me something before pulling back.
Flynn opens the door of the carriage we originally arrived in, allowing me to step in first. I take a seat on the dark green velvet bench, squeezing myself as close to the glass window as possible and giving the door my back. He sits across from me, the distance feeling so much larger than what the tiny space of the carriage actually measures. I can feel his stare, but I don’t look at him as we sit in stilted silence. It’s heavy andugly, and I wish more than anything we could go back to the night of my birthday. The night when his lips devoured mine and we were poised to do much more. I ache fiercely to go back to when he gave me that journal and a note that left me feeling like no onecould possibly love another soul as much as I loved him. As I thoughtheloved me. It was a love worth exposing my magic for. One worth following him into an unknown kingdom for.
I now wonder if it is one worth enduring his lies for.
With my attention focused on the window, I take in the beauty of the forest as we move. This kingdom truly is a marvelous wonder; the varying shades of green and the immense amount of plant life outside is almost enough to draw some happiness out of me—though I’m unsure if that emotion will ever come easily again.
A tear drops down onto my arm, more flowing over my cheeks as I squeeze my eyes shut and burrow deeper into myself.So naive. So incredibly naive and stupid to assume that someone could actually love me as I am.The carriage jostles, and then I feel him right behind me, his warmth doing nothing against the bitter numbness hardening me from within.
“I’m so sorry.” His voice is a rasp, like it’s been scraped along jagged rock.
“Who are you?” I ask again, the words barely a harsh whisper between my lips. Those already full mental boxes—brimming with grief and hopelessness—rattle inside me, reminding me that I don’t have the capacity to hold anymore. Flynn was supposed to be areprieve. He was supposed to be the one person that I could trust—and I did. I trusted him with everything that I was.
“I’m still me, Rhea.”
My breath feels trapped in my throat, my lungs struggling to get air in that won’t come. It’s reminiscent of how I felt the first time we reached the town of Celatum, where panic replaced my thoughts and imaginary mountains crushed my chest. I ball my hands tightly in my lap, my nails digging into my palms.
“Breathe. It’s going to be alright,” he says, though uncertainty paints his voice the same way it frays my soul.
My eyes close, and I focus on following his commands, working to steady the erratic beats of my broken heart. To pull that invisible shield inside of me up and over myself so that I don’t have to bear witness to the feeling of there being a stranger in this carriage with me.
“There you go, Sunshine. We’re almost at the palace.”
“Why are we going there?” I ask between gulps of air.
He is silent for a while, just the noise of the carriage wheels over the stone pathway and Cassius humming a tune from where he sits outside playing between us. “Because I am the crown prince of the Mage Kingdom.”
The crown prince.He is royalty, and yet he paraded around in another kingdom as one of their guards. Why?
“Please say something,” he whispers behind me.
“What would you like me to say?” I murmur back, keeping my gaze to the window as we slow and come to a stop. I hear the door open, and then Cassius’ voice trails in.
“Let’s take Blondie to the tavern and—” He cuts his question off, and I tense, feeling his stare on me.
“We’re going to need some time, Cass. I also have to say goodbye to Bahira before she leaves,” Flynn states quietly.
“Okay, then,” Cassius drawls.
“I’ll come find you when I can. Thank you, Cass.”
“Anytime. You know that.” There’s a pause, and then he adds, “Are you home for a while?”
