I turn my gaze towards the Mirror, the gears of my mind turning but coming up with nothing except horrific scenarios of what could have happened back home. “I think it’s time for me to leave.”
“Then I will prepare a ship immediately.”
It doesn’t take long to pack up my belongings—ancient journals, a magnifier, clothes, and a spear are all that I need to take back with me. Jahlee and Siyala meet me on the steps outside the palace, Kai giving us space and waiting a few yards ahead.
“I wish you didn’t have to go at all,” Jahlee laments while pulling me into a hug, her arms squeezing way too tightly. I squeeze her back just as hard.
“I am going to miss you.” It’s hard to define what Jahlee’s presence—herfriendship—has meant to me. She is the only one who truly understands what it’s like to be magicless in a world filled to the brim with it, and yet she commands a presence about her that dares anyone to call her less than.
“Just remember that when you feel adrift between two worlds, I am in that middle space too. We are only outcasts if we let them make us so.” She plants a kiss on my cheek and pullsback, her gaze flicking to her brother. “And perhaps there is still something that might bring you back here.”
Unable to sever her hope, I give her a quirk of my lips before turning to Siyala. She has washed up and changed since our meeting in the throne room, but her haunting amber eyes remain fiercely focused on me.
“You will let us know that Rhea is safe?” she asks though it sounds more like a command, her fingers curling at her sides.
“I will.”
She sticks her hand out between us, my own clasping hers as she firmly shakes it. “I’m sorry we could not talk more, as I know you have many questions. If I could accompany you on your journey, I would, but…”
“You have people who have waited years to see you, Siyala. Bahira will keep her word and reach out to us as soon as she can,” Jahlee says, giving Siyala a waggle of her brows. Reluctantly, the shifter female lets me go. I give them one last parting smile before turning and walking down the steps to the waiting shifter king, my trunk in his hands.
“You do not have to accompany me to the docks,” I tell him.
He doesn’t offer a response, instead turning and leading the way to where a ship is waiting for me. Blowing out a breath, I follow a step behind him. Kai leads us down a path that doesn’t cut directly through Molsi, but one that brings us around its outskirts. I can’t help but watch him as he walks in front of me. He will have so much work to do with weeding out the rest of the rebels and truly beginning his reign here as king. Though I no longer underestimate him, I find myself uselessly wishing that I could stay andhelp. If he would even allow that.
“I can feel your gaze on me, Princess.”
My lips twitch at the familiar statement, but I swallow back the urge to respond. The rest of our walk is quiet as the edges of the dock come into view. My hands run up over the straps ofmy pack and back to where my spear is tucked into its loops, nervous energy making me fidget.
The wooden planks, warped from sun and sea and time, creak under our steps as we walk to where a small ship is docked. The boat is a third of the size of the one I traveled to the island on and appears to only be manned by three people, their faces I somewhat recognize from the throne room.
“I trust these men,” Kai says, following my gaze. “But if they decide that they want to test that trust, you have my permission to kill them all.” He speaks the words loudly enough as we near the boat that all three men turn and look at us.
“Thank you, Your Majesty, for the permission.”
Kai sets the trunk down gently, halting us in front of the boat. “Kai. It’s just Kai to you.” The breeze blowing in off the ocean ruffles his hair, sending dark strands over his forehead, and my stupid heart skips a beat at the sight of it.
“Bad idea to giveyour ruinso much power.” He steps closer, and I have to brace myself for his presence—his warmth and scent and justhim.
“Be my ruin. Be my poison. Be the reason I question who the fuck I am and what I’m doing. The reason I give a shit at all. Be all those things and whatever else you want to, Bahira.”
His statements catch me off-guard as does the sincere look on his face. I shake my head, my teeth gritting together as too many emotions knot thickly in my throat. “Please, don’t do this,” I protest, my voice hardly loud enough to be heard over the lapping waves. I try to take a step back, only for him to pull me closer, an arm wrapping around my waist. My hands splay on his chest, both pushing him away and gripping his tunic. “I have stood firm behind my shields for so many years, and now, because of you, I amfaltering.I am not strong enough—”
“You are,” he interrupts. His finger curls beneath my chin, tilting my face up to his. “People often think of strengthas something that’s measured in battle—physical combat and mastery of weapons. But they rarely take into account mental and emotional toughness. They forget the will and perseverance it takes to continue on when the world tells them they shouldn’t. When it tells them they areweak. You are many things, Bahira, butweakisn’t one of them.”
“Kai.” The strain on my throat is heavy, my eyes growing wet as I stare up at him. His own gaze searches mine—my face and hair—while his hand flexes on my hip.
“What I said to you that night in the cave is not something that can be unsaid. I deserve nothing from you, and I will not ask you for anything you aren’t willing to give me. Nor would I want to keep you from anything—anyone—back in your kingdom.” He swallows, the edges of his face softening as he adds quietly, “But if there is a moment when you decide you’d like to talk with me again, I will make sure someone is always guarding the Mirror.”
I don’t let the sob trapped in my chest break free, one that’s filled with the words I don’t know how to say aloud to him. So, instead, I let him hold me, his hand tangling in my hair as he presses my head to his chest.
With the sun hanging low, a golden glow against the backdrop of a blue and lavender sky, I finally step out of Kai’s arms and onto the boat. He gives his parting words to the crew as they lift the anchor and the ship begins to pull away from the dock. I watch Kai the entire time until his figure is nothing but a dot in the distance. My hands grip the railing of the boat, the three shifters moving about the deck as they adjust the sails to steer us over the open water.
With a deep breath, I turn away from the Shifter Kingdom and face the direction of home. Except that, now, home feels more like the place I just said goodbye to.
Salty air caresses my skin through the open window of my cabin, gently tugging on the pages of the journal I’m reading. Needing the distraction, I pulled the ancient record out of my pack after dinner and began thumbing through the detailed notes left by the former council member.
As this one is only about fifty years old, it must have been one I grabbed from the nightstand in my room before leaving for the Shifter Kingdom. My eyes drift over the councilman’s words as he recounts the Flame Ceremonies of that particular week. It all seems standard for the time, the flames produced from each drop of blood only a few feet high. A boy from Santor saw a flame just over one foot tall. A girl from Galdr saw one of three feet. Another girl, this one from Galina, was also shown a flame of under two feet in height.
