Able to sit up fully, while simultaneously floating in this space, I turn around in all directions, but I see nothing but those half-lit dots and swirls of light. “What do you meanothermagic?” I whisper, looking down at my hands.
“There are two halves to your magic. Now that you are somewhere safe, you need to learn how to wield both, and he can teach you.”
“Safe,” I say with a scoff, shaking my head as I hug my knees to my chest. “I am not safe there.” A gentle breeze laced with thescent of jasmine caresses me, the feeling like a tickling of fingers on my shoulders. “I don’t want him to teach me anything else—not anymore.” The words taste bitter as they leave my mouth, but I pretend that I believe them anyway.
“He loves you. Even those not of this world can see it. Feel it.”
“You do not lie to the people you love! Not about something like that.”
“Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, we end up hurting the people we care for most.” There’s a sadness to her voice, heavy even in this wide expanse of space. “Did you not lie to him as well?”
“That’s different. I had to lie. Ihadto protect myself.”
“Hmm. And what do you think he was doing?” she asks.
My fingers curl in on themselves, anger rapidly replacing any moment of reprieve I had from my spiraling thoughts. “He knew he was a part of Alexi’s death, no matter how unintentional it was, and he didn’t tell me! That only protects himself from my anger; nothing more.”
“He wasafraid. Certainly, you can relate to that. He speaks true about his remorse. His regret.”
“And yet that cannot bring Alexi back,” I seethe, the universe around me going even darker than it was before. I sigh, rubbing my hand over my chest.
There was a part of me that had hoped a future with Flynn meant leaving behind the pieces of myself that were damaged. As if I could sort through my fractured memories and that pitiful existence in the tower and handpick the things I wanted to bring with me to this new life. I realize now that this might have been my biggest dream of all: not escaping the tower or hoping to find love or a family, but pretending that I could sift through the mess that I was and find enough parts of myself that I felt were worthy of something better.
“Unfortunately, there is no locking up and simply forgetting about the experiences that we’d rather not relive. Each event and memory and story you have—good and bad—makes up who you are, Rhea. Like threads on a tapestry, they weave together to form a larger picture of the person you will become. But onlyyoucan choose how you will let them define you.”
I huff another breath, playing with the ends of my hair. “So many nights I had looked up to the stars and wished with all my might that I could be free. Free to leave the tower. Free to make my own choices. Free to fall in love. Free to live a life for myself.”
“I know,” she says softly.
“What if being here—being with him—isn’t the freedom I thought it would be? I already feel like everything between us is untrue.”
“But was it not your plan to leave? If he had told you all of these things upon your first meeting, would you still have gotten to know him? Still gone east with him?”
“I—” I stumble over my response becauseI don’t know. If I had learned everything about who Flynn was and all the secrets he had kept, would we have been able to work through it? He was persistent in the beginning—showing up and making sure that I knew he was thinking about me. Was that truly just him, or was he still trying to piece together why he could sense magic coming from me? I feel like I have to question everything between us now. How can he possibly love me without motive when he didn’t love me enough to tell the truth? When I don’t even love myse—
“Rhea,” she interrupts. The feeling of something warm settles over me like a comforting hug. Inside, however, I’m still numb. Frozen. “You are suffering. You have been for a long time.”
“Yes, well, I’m not sure what you are aware of from this magical world in which you exist, but my life only ever afforded me the opportunity to suffer.” I was stunted in every way that made a person, well, a person. I was denied everything I lusted after until—
“Until he came into your life. And he saw who you truly are.”
I stay silent, unsure of what to say to that. The woman, her voice still achingly familiar to me in a way that I don’t understand, chuckles.
“It is true that he lied to you by hiding things. Not a move I would have used, personally, to woo someone. But sometimes, men can be quite dense.”
A shocked laugh scrapes out of me as I, again, look around. “Unfortunately, my experience in that area is basically nonexistent,” I say though I suppose she already knows that.Wait…“Can—can you see what I do on Olymazi?”
“I can.”
I cringe, thinking about all of the intimate moments I shared with Flynn.
“You needn’t worry about that. I can block things from my view at any time.”
“Am I the only one you can speak with?”
Steady and calm moments pass before she replies. “I’m afraid that I cannot tell you that.”
“Why can’t I see you?” I ask, the flickering of the stars above me brighter than before.
