“She’s already threatened the wrath of her legion against us if we disobey. For now, we have no choice but to bend to her will, for the good of all of those that reside here.”
“Thereisanother choice, Iz. We have her daughter. Perhaps we can bargain with her. Try to get ours back,” the siren behind me says, her voice vibrating over my shoulder. “How many lives is one princess worth?”
“We’d have to have a princess ofvalue,Nisha. And we don’t. But even then, the queen would make the exchange and then raze the town down. If we are no longer obedient, she will destroy us.”
Nausea churns in my stomach as I try to understand this information in a way that makessense.The legion has always been something that sirens have the option of joining. It’s never been something forced upon them, at least for those in the capital. Maybe that is not the case for those outside of it.
“Get some sleep, Princess Aria. When the sun rises, you will have to go. Though I believe that you have no ill will towards us, the same cannot be said of your mother. We do not want any more unwanted attention than we already have.”
The siren behind me—Nisha—begins to pull me out of the tavern. I fight against her, shouting, “Wait!” She pauses, and I drop my gaze at garnering the attention of every siren. “I’m sorry. That she is doing this. I—I wish I could do more.”
There are some noises of disdain, but Izel speaks above them. “Despite what you may think, Your Highness, youcoulddo more,” she says quietly, pushing away from the table to approach until she is right in front of me. “You choose not to.”
Her words ring in my ears hours later as I still try and fail to fall asleep. It’s so similar to what Nia said when she confronted me at the seamounts before telling me to never return. I don’tunderstand what they thinkIcan do though. Theythemselvesknow that I’m barely considered one of the queen’s daughters as it is.
One person cannot inspire a movement. One person of no power cannot take on the most powerful. I am not strong or clever or fierce like my other sisters. I am a pawn better suited to being molded for the plans of others than trying to stand on my own.
I am nothing and no one.
Chapter Forty-Eight: Rhea
My eyelids flutter open,the edges of a dream fraying away as I focus on the sitting area that’s visible through Nox’s open bedroom door. My breaths are easy, and my heart beats in a slow and steady rhythm. How long has it been since I’ve woken up feeling so at ease? Have Ieverfelt that way before? I had moments of being content in the tower, days where nothing unexpected would happen. Where my uncle wouldn’t visit and Alexi would. But there was always an underlying current of anxiousness within me, rocking me as if I was driftwood in thesea. Reminding me that any moment of calm was nothing more than the eye of a storm and that the chaos of tumultuous waters would soon find me again—leaving me broken and battered on the floor.
Like he can sense the direction of my dreary thoughts, Nox curls his arm more tightly around my waist, the warmth of his body pressing into me from behind. Since Bella had come into my life, I had only slept alone for a handful of nights. There were the few after I had asked Alexi to free her from the tower—before she came back dying and my magic saved her. Then there were the two nights I had slept in Bahira’s room. Maybe it makes me weak or a pathetic excuse for an adult woman, but I like waking up knowing that I’m not alone.
I interlace my fingers with his, taking in a deeper breath.The moon may have the stars, but at least I have you.The phrase rings in my head, and I wonder if it will always be meant just for Bella or if there will be a day when my heart might be okay with saying those words to Nox. I think of my happier memories of Bella. How she brightened my days when it would have been so easy to live in darkness. How she saved me from completely spiraling into a despair so deep after Alexi’s death that there would have been no return. And, for a moment, I feel the weight of that permanent grief that sits so heavily on my chest lighten a fraction. Maybe pushing the memories away, trying to force myself to become numb to them, only keeps that boulder in place. What if, instead, I could chip away at it by keeping that part of my heart that is exclusively hers unguarded and free? The guilt and sadness might never disappear completely, but maybe they could dwindle down to the size of a pebble. Still there, still something jagged and rough, but smaller—more manageable.
Warm lips meet my shoulder, Nox’s gentle kisses causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. “Good morning.”
Butterflies take flight low in my stomach at his sleep-roughened voice. “Good morning to you.” I wriggle again but still my movements when I feel him hard against my low back.
“I had a particularlyrousingdream,” he murmurs into my hair, his fingers flexing beneath my hand.
A blush pinches my cheeks as I huff out a laugh. “And here I thought it might be because of me.”Bold.It is so unusually bold of me to speak this way, but if fear and meekness thrive in oppression and anguish, then the opposite might be true in freedom and safety. While I won’t say that I’ll ever be completely fearless, in this moment, it isn’t trepidation that is making my toes curl and need light up my veins.
“Who do you think the dream was about? It’s always because of you, Rhea.” My legs clench together as his fingers move idly on my bare stomach beneath my satin chemise. “Did you thinkyouwere the only one who thought about the other’s hands on them? That I might not think of you in sleep as often as I do awake?”
“You’ve never hinted otherwise,” I tease, arching more into him.
Nox chuckles, and the sound is as silken as the wetness growing between my legs. “I’m a gentleman. I wouldn’tdarespeak of such things.” The tips of his fingers dip beneath the waistband of my undergarments, causing my breath to catch.
“I recall you saying something aboutnotbeing one during a game of naughts and crosses back in the tower.”
He kisses my shoulder again before leaning in closer to my ear. “Do you want me to be a gentleman now?”
My eyes go straight to his as I turn my head, the silver in them blazing bright. I find I don’t care that it’s the first thing in the morning or that I probably look a mess. All I can think about is his touch—the warmth of his skin and softness of his mouth.Our lips brush, and I move the hand still holding his farther down to where I’m aching to feel him.
A small gasp from me separates our kiss when his long fingers reach that sensitive bud. He moves them deftly, gathering every ounce of pleasure until it all pools low in my stomach. I can’t help the moan that leaves me when—after teasing—his hand drops even lower and one of his fingers slides delicately inside of me. His groan from behind rattles my back, satisfaction in the sound at the wetness he finds waiting for him.
My own hands grip onto anything I can to brace myself—one on the sheets in front of me, and the other reaching around behind me to dive into his hair. Nox’s mouth is on me the entire time. Sometimes showing my neck attention, and sometimes tangling his tongue so perfectly with mine that it draws out the memory of theotherthings his tongue can do.
He takes his time, murmuring his appreciation for how my body is reacting to his touch. Adding a second finger, he coaxes me past the brink of release over and over again until I feel completely boneless and I’m not sure where my body ends and the bed begins. When he removes his fingers, my arousal shining along them, he sucks them into his mouth, and I forget how tobreathe. There is nothing but the longing to join my body with his again, to be the beginning and the end of each other.
I muster enough strength to sit up, pulling my chemise off eagerly and throwing it to the ground. Nox laughs, the sound cascading over me, before he pulls me on top of him, my knees straddling his hips. I brace myself on his broad chest, leaning over to kiss him.
“Tell me what you want, Rhea,” he says against my lips, his voice husky and deep.
I gasp at how hard he feels beneath me, his hands guiding my movements back and forth along him. “I wantyou,” I answer.
