“Liv, I…”
She was gone before I could even try to make it better. Not that I could. I’d always been caught in the middle, my heart torn between the woman I loved and the promise I’d made the day we buried my mother. A promise that I’d now fulfilled, but that had only left me empty.
I avoided everyone the next day. With no meetings, I worked from my suite. It was really an apartment on the top floor of the hotel, but to me it had never been home. The only time I’d felt like I was home was when I’d been with Tori. Anyplace else was just a place to live.
I poured myself another glass of scotch and looked out at the skyline. Night had fallen, but my thoughts had me too wired to sit. I’d been that way since the previous day. Making good on my promise to Tori about childcare, I had talked to the director at the employee center, authorizing the hiring of two more teachers to accommodate more children. They had the space, but my father was stingy on employee benefits, something I was planning to change and had discussed in our meeting the prior day.
A knock at my door had me crossing the room, opening it to find Tori there. She pushed me aside and walked in.
“Come on in?” I said, scratching my head as I closed the door behind me.
I raised my glass to take another drink, and she grabbed it from me. “Since when do you drink this stuff?” she asked, wrinkling her nose at it.
Since my life went to hell.
She plunked it onto the coffee table and turned to face me, crossing her arms. I fought the tug of my grin at how adorableshe looked. She had changed into a pair of leggings and a UConn sweatshirt. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and it reminded me of our days together. Natural and so Tori.
“So, you barge into my place to complain about my drink of choice. Was there anything else you’d like to complain about while you’re here?”
“I won’t bore you with my list. I’m not sorry, you know.”
“What would you have to be sorry about? I’m the asshole who left you.”
Plunging my hands into my pockets, I waited for whatever barrage of accusations she was planning to send my way.
“Your sister talked to me today.” She freed her arms and rubbed her hand up one.
My eyes shot to hers. “What did she say?” I didn’t want Tori to know the truth, how I’d been protecting her. Not yet.
“That she answered the phone that day.” She took a few steps toward me. “Did you tell her to say that? Tell her to lie to me, or was she being honest?”
I let out the breath that had gotten stuck in my airway. “It was the truth. I didn’t know she had answered. She never told me until yesterday when I confronted her.”
The pain that accentuated her blue irises nearly broke me, and I looked away.
“Then why?” A whispered question I couldn’t answer. “Why did you leave me, Gabe?” A crack in her voice that I couldn’t ignore. “At least the thought that you were cheating or wanted another woman offered me a reason. Is that still the reason? You wanted someone else? You grew bored with me?”
“Damn it, Tori. I didn’t want another woman. There has never been anyone but you.” The words were out before I could catch them, and she stared at me, tears glistening in her eyes. I dropped my gaze to the floor, tired of fighting with her, tired of having her hate me. “I’ve never even looked at another woman.”
I heard the huff and looked up to see her roll her eyes. “It’s been over five years. You can’t reasonably expect me to think you haven’t dated someone else.”
My gaze wavered. “Have you?” I didn’t want the answer, but I deserved the hurt it would cause me. I had given her up. To expect that she would stay faithful to me like I had to her was a ridiculous notion.
A defeated sigh preceded her answer. “A handful of first dates.” And the knife plunged a few more times. “But no one wants to date a woman with a child and baggage from an ex she can’t get over.” And the knife receded, leaving only minor wounds. “You’re a hard act to follow, even if your departure tainted those times.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed quiet, letting her words sink in.
“Did you leave me so you could have someone else, Gabe? Have you been living the bachelor life here with all your money and playboy looks?”
“Playboy looks?” I asked quirking my brow.
“Shut up. I’m serious.”
I dared to take two steps closer, letting the scent of vanilla and cherry blossoms tickle my nose. “I didn’t leave you to live that life, Tori. And no, there has been no one since because there is no other you. I barely look at other women because when I do, all I see is that they aren’t you.”
Graceful brows knitted, and I watched the myriad of emotions pass through her face.
“Then why did you do it? If you needed space, I would have understood.” She rubbed her nose with the back of her wrist. “If we were moving too fast, we could have pushed the wedding back.” She went stiff, her eyes growing wide. “Was that it? You regretted proposing and didn’t know how to get out?”
