I snapped my gaze to him. Creases lined his brown eyes, his age clearer now than I’d ever noticed.
He let out a sigh, rubbing his hands together. “It’s not an excuse. I know, but he would take his belt to me, his fist, sometimes whatever he could find when he was drunk. I left when I was eighteen and never looked back. A scholarship to Harvard I’d earned by throwing myself into my schoolwork was my way out. I worked every part-time job and accepted every internship, and when I met your mother, I swore I would never treat her like my father had treated my mother. That I would never raise a hand to my children.”
He lowered his head, running his fingers through his hair. “I made the same promise when Olivia was born and when you were born. Promised I wouldn’t be my father. But your mother’s depression continued to haunt her.”
“Bradman?” I asked.
“Yes.” He looked up at me, sitting back. “She witnessed everything, and he’d been set to do the same thing to her when I found her. I beat the shit out of him and took her roommate to the hospital. His parents hushed it up, and the girl dropped out when she found out she was pregnant. Your mother was never the same. It would come in waves. I know now she was bipolar, but back then, we didn’t know that.
“I didn’t kill your mother, William. Depression did. But I was a weak man, and I left her to deal with it on her own. I didn’t know how to help her, and when I was home, it just reminded me of how weak I was, how helpless it made me.”
“So you decided beating me would make you a man?” I snarled, my anger surfacing.
“Yes. I didn’t mean it to happen, and the first time I hit you, I left for a week, telling your mother I had a business trip and sleeping in the office instead. It scared me, but then the anger at the situation returned when I stepped into the house again, and…I became my father. I never hit your mother, never hurt your sister?—”
“Not with your hands, but you still hurt her.”
“I was tough on her.”
“Tough?” I laughed. “That’s your idea of tough? Telling her she’ll never make it in a man’s world? How dumb she was? That she needed to give up her fight and stay in the kitchen?”
“It shaped her into the woman she is today. She fought everything I told her, proving me wrong at every turn. She’s not some spoiled rich girl. She’s strong, smart, and can hold her own against any man.”
This was the first time I’d ever heard my father compliment my sister, and it left me stunned. My jaw went slack as I stared at him. “Did you ever think of telling her that?”
“No.” He bent forward again. “Maybe I should have.”
“Yeah, you should have.”
“I made mistakes, William. Too many to take back, but it made you both into adults who are formidable.”
I didn’t know how formidable Liv was with her manicures and spa days, but I didn’t argue.
“You could have done the same without the abuse.”
“Maybe, but I can’t and won’t take it back. It’s too late. All I can do now is try to mend things.”
I stood, straightening my jacket. “That’s a difficult thing to do, and I’m not sure I want to mend anything.”
“Your fiancé thinks you do. She’s smart and impressive.”
“I know, and she left the decision in my hands. I’m just uncertain about what I want to do with it. Mending fences with a man who used me as a punching bag instead of getting help for his anger issues seems a waste of my time.” I pulled the invitation from my pocket, weighing it in my hands. “This is as far as I’ll go right now.”
I handed it to him and walked away.
“William.”
I stopped and turned back to him.
“Ask Victoria how she found out about the CFO position. I’m not the monster you think I am.”
My brow creased as his words knocked around in my mind. Turning from him, I continued my path, leaving his puzzling words and excuses behind. When I returned to the office, I went straight to Tori’s office.
She looked up from her computer, her smile filling her face. “How did it go?”
“Not the way you wanted,” I admitted, closing the door behind me. I walked over to her and dragged her from her chair, needing her touch to calm my spirit.
“That bad?” she asked as my hands climbed up her sides.
