I laughed, squeezing his hands. “Yes, when you’re older.”
“But that man loved your mommy,” Gabe said, putting his arms around my waist and resting his head next to mine. “Shewas the light in his darkness, the smile to his sadness, the salve to his pain. She was everything.”
“Then why did he leave?”
“Because he loved her too much, and to stay with her would have hurt her. So he made the worst mistake of his life, but one he would never take back. He left to keep her safe.”
I leaned into his hold, feeling my tears pushing for recognition again. “I was devastated, but then I had you, and you brought light back into my life.”
“But not back into his? If you were the light in his life, how did he survive?” He was too smart, too aware for someone his age.
“I didn’t,” Gabe said. “I went through life with a hole in my chest that never went away. The darkness swallowed me, and it wasn’t until she came back into my life and told me about you that the darkness lifted again.”
Reid’s eyes bounced between us before he hopped from the rock. He took Gabe’s hand and pulled him down, his hands going to his cheeks. After turning Gabe’s face back and forth, he squinted his eyes at Gabe. Looking back up at me, he said, “So the stocking belongs to Gabe?”
I laughed, the anxiety holding my muscles hostage slipping away. “Yes,” I replied, nodding.
“We need to get glitter, and I’ll show you how to add your name.” He took Gabe’s hand and dragged him up.
“What stocking?” Gabe asked, his brows knitted in confusion.
“Your stocking. Mommy puts one out every year, and Santa never fills it. This year, he knows who it belongs to.”
Gabe took my hand when I looked away. Meeting his eyes, I saw the understanding there. The truth that I’d told him, and Reid had just admitted. That I’d never stopped loving him, never allowed room for anyone else because Gabe took too much.
If our confession to Reid had any effect on him, he didn’t show it. He acted just like he had, and it made me curious if he’d known, if he’d subconsciously recognized that Gabe was his father.
As we rode back to the house, he fell asleep between me and Gabe, his body leaning into Gabe’s hold. The look of adoration in Gabe’s eyes when he looked at Reid let me know I’d made the right choice.
“So, I have a stocking?” he asked, his fingers drifting through Reid’s hair. Hazel orbs took my breath away when they turned to me.
“I was alone in Boston the Christmas after you left. It was horrible and lonely. Gabe was only a baby, and I was on maternity leave. My family wanted me to move home, but I knew I needed to keep working and maintain my independence. I didn’t think I would heal if I did.” I looked out the window. “Not that it helped. To keep my mind quiet, I decorated, only all my decorations were ones we bought together. I wasn’t in my right mind, and somehow having those up comforted me. It was almost like you were there, and as much as I hated you, I wanted you there.”
Scratching my nose, I turned back to him, meeting his guilt-stricken eyes. Sadness shadowed them, and I wondered if we could ever truly heal. “I put my stocking up and the one for Reid, but it didn’t look right. Maybe it was the hormones still running rampant, but I packed Reid up and went out that night to buy one more stocking. No name, no decorations, just a plain red and white stocking. I hung it next to Reid’s that year and every year after until he was old enough to hang it himself.”
My eyes dropped to my lap. “I never had an answer for him when he would ask whose stocking it was.”
His fingers pushed my hair back from my face, and I lifted it to him. “I’ll be there this Christmas and every one that follows.”
I leaned into his touch. “I know, and you can replace it with your own stocking.”
Head shaking, he said, “No, that’s the one I’ll use. Besides, I don’t have one. I haven’t decorated for a holiday since the one with you. I never could bring myself to because it reminded me too much of you, and I wasn’t as strong as you are, Tori. Holidays are nothing but reminders of what I lost, so I avoid them.”
All the pain I had suffered, the times I had cursed him because I was so sure he was enjoying life without me, leaving me too wrecked to move on, and he was suffering his own hell.
I pulled his face to mine. “From now on, we celebrate every holiday together.”
His smile lit his eyes, turning them a beautiful golden hue. “That sounds perfect.”
I kissed him as certainty washed through me. This was real, and it wouldn’t disappear this time. We wouldn’t let it because there was no coming back from the damage a second time. It would devastate us both.
Reid rushed into the house, kicked his boots off and threw his coat on the floor.
“Reid!” I called after him, frowning as I picked up his coat.
“I have a daddy,” I heard him tell my father, who was sitting in the living room watching football.
My sight jumped to Gabe, nerves striking me, but it wasn’t tension I found in his face. It was awe. How long since discovering he had a son had he been waiting to hear that? I hadn’t given it thought, only wanting to keep Reid safe and not thinking about Gabe’s emotions.
