“Very well, let us havedonewith that. I believe we are ready for secret number two,” she prompted, glancing at the clock and worrying slightly about how long they had been alone together. The door was open, so it was no more improper than the library had been at Netherfield, but they were tempting fortune.
He sighed and gave her to understand that a rumour had spread through town, claiming Caroline Bingley was observed leavinghisbedchamber, improperly dressed, probably enceinte. Darcy continued to outline the rumours, while Elizabeth tried her best to look shocked, scandalised, demure, embarrassed, and most important of all:surprised.She judged her performance barely adequate.
When he had done, she excitedly asked if he had been damaged by the rumours.
He immediately perceived that she could care less how Miss Bingley was affected and was touched by her concern—mostly unaware that she was driven much more by curiosity on Jane’s behalf than any worry about his welfare.
“I wasimplicated for a time. Men can get away with most anything, but my sisterwould be harmed if I had been known to abandon a nominal lady, and of course, Miss Bingley would be ruined, so I suppressed it.”
Thiswas something new that she had not heard a whisper of from Jane.
She slid forward in her chair, eager for the details. “How exactly did you manage that.”
He chuckled but then made a big point of looking around for lethal weapons.
“I sent Bingley to our club for an hour at the busiest time of day to take his lumps and get the crowd worked up. Then I joined him and let the wolves tear at me for a while.”
She nodded for him to get on with it, though she had to admit he was showing more of his sense of humour, and she did not hate it.
“I arranged for Sir John Wolton, the most famous oculist in London, to be present. I asked him to perform an eye examination there and then. He went along, dragged out a collection of obscure instruments, shone light in my eyes while staring with a glass, had me read a page from farther and farther away, then eventually asserted that I had the eyes of a hawk.”
Elizabeth giggled, wondering where he was going.
“Then I asked another fellow who happened to be there who specialised in the treatment of the mad. I asked him if he would mind assessing my sanity. He worked the audience to a frenzy with all sorts of questions until a half-hour later the room was packed.”
“And?”
“He pronounced me fit and sane.”
“Pray continue,” she said, more than a little fascinated.
“Then I administered the coup de grace. I asked the assembled crowd for any man to raise his hand if he truly believed a man in full possession of his faculties and his eyesight would choose Caroline Bingley of all people in a town where even Bingley said, 'Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty.’”
Elizabeth gasped, and Darcy looked contrite. “Now that I think of that night, I realise I never apologised for my abominable words.”
“We are past that—pray continue,” she said breathlessly, not wishing to be distracted with trivialities from half a year ago.
He chuckled, feeling like he had narrowly escaped disaster.
“Have you ever heard the expression‘revenge is a dish best served cold’?”
“I have but never understood it.”
“It means that revenge is more satisfying or effective when exacted in a calculated and deliberate manner rather than in hot anger.”
“Meaning?”
“I went on to tell them that Miss Bingley turned the servants out without wages or reference. Not only did she not pay them for the quarter they were due,but she did not even pay them for the time they worked.The rumour was almost certainly some group of servants’ well-deserved revenge, and since gossip was one of Miss Bingley’s favourite weapons, it seemed fitting it should be used for revenge upon her—reaping and sowing and so forth.”
She chewed her lip in confusion, trying to pretend she did not already know that. “I suppose that restored your reputation?”
“Mostly—many still question my sense in staying in a house with her as mistress in the first place, but it all subsided. My reputation is untouched, and hers went from that of a fallen woman to simply an unpleasant shrew,” he said, and gestured as a tutor might when asking a pupil to answer a simple question.
“… and her reputation is probably only marginally worse than it started, since that was probably how she was already seen.”
“No, it is materially worse, but it should not kill her marriage prospectsentirely.”
“Pity,” she said with a sigh.
