The words are like acid in my mouth. I hate admitting that to her. I hate admitting that, once again, I’m not man enough to take care of something. If I can’t provide for myself, how could I ever reassure her that I could provide forher? No wonder her mind can’t seem to make itself up about me. I mean…look at me.
I don’t know what I expect her to say, or even do, but I definitely don’t expect her to cup my face in her hands, forcing me to look up as she looks at me with the biggest, brown doe eyes I think I’ve ever seen.
“Okay,” she murmurs.
I frown. “O…kay?”
“Talk to me. Tell me more about why you’re freaking out.”
I’m shaking my head immediately, gently grabbing her wrists as if that’ll convey that it’s not important. That I shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place because I don’t even know the test results yet. “Maeve, it’s nothing. I don’t know why I’m even worrying about it right now when I don’t need to.”
Her shoulders rise and fall as she takes a deep, steadying breath, before a small smile spreads across her face. “Okay,Tate… I can still help out. I know I won’t physically be here but?—”
“No.”
She blinks, momentarily speechless. “Wait, what?”
“No, Maeve, you can’t do that,” I tell her feebly, tugging her hands from my face as I scratch at my chin. “I don’t want you to do that.”
“Tate, I really don’t mind helping you ou?—”
“No,” I urge, firmer this time, as I fling the comforter back and get out of the bed. Grabbing the hoodie on top of my bag, I slide it on, leaving the hood over my head before I peek over at her, scared I might’ve hurt her feelings when she doesn’t say anything.
“But how are you going to pay for it, then?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper as she frowns up at me from the bed.
“I’ll figure it out.”
Maeve winces slightly, as if she doesn’t like my answer.
“I didn’t tell you because I wanted you to f-fix it for me,” I stutter out, getting irritated that I’m doing that again, and rubbing my eyes tiredly. “I was just telling you…how I felt. Or why I felt this way.”
“How are you going to pay for hotels? An Airbnb? Food?Gas?” she asks again, this time, she’s more confident in her voice, sitting up straighter as she cocks an eyebrow.
My chest feels tight from her questions, but I try to shake it off. “I don’t know right now, but I will figure it out.”
“How?” she repeats instantly.
I don’t answer, my mouth agape as I blink slowly at her, my hands falling to my sides. I don’t knowhowto answer. I should’ve lied and told her some made-up reason for my stress, because the last thing I wanted to come from this was her help. I would never expect her to do something so crazy. I should be able to take care of myself?—
“I’m going to help you, Tatum.”
“Why? Why would you wanna do something like that?” I whine, shrugging my shoulders lamely. “I don’twantyour help. I can take care of it. I don’t need your money, Maeve.”
She may not make a sound, but her brows knit together as her eyes widen slightly, taken aback by my response. Even her nose scrunches as she starts to shake her head, throwing her hands in the air as she searches for words.
“Because it’s what youdo,” she practically growls, and I wince. “It’s what you do when you…”
The rest of the sentence hangs in the air, silence shrouding us as her features falter. Her hands fall into her lap as she quickly diverts her gaze away from me. What was she going to say?
“When you what?” I rasp after a moment.
She doesn’t look at me, but I don’t get a chance to say anything else before my phone starts to ring on the nightstand. Every fiber of hope in my bones is screaming for what she was about to say, even if I’m delusional and making it up in my head.
I feel myself deflate as I walk over to grab my phone, dread filling me as I see who it is.
The hospital.
The results are back.
