When we go downstairs, I’m frozen on the bottom step for a moment, taking in the scene before me. The Christmas tree is all lit up, surrounded by presents that are wrapped in Grinch wrapping paper with little red bows, and there’s faint Christmas music playing from the TV. I can smell hot chocolate in the air, and as her family comes into view, I can see that they all have different sets of pajamas on. Santa Claus, Rudolph, you name it.
Maeve gives me a tiny nudge, pulling me from my trance.
“You okay?” she whispers.
I blink. “You’re all…wearing Christmas PJs.”
She smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, it’s kind of a thing we do every year.”
So this is what Christmas is supposed to look like.
“I-I didn’t bring any Christmas pajamas.”
She puts her hand on my arm, squeezing before she leans in toward my ear. “Don’t worry. My mom got you some as a present, but,” she presses her fingers to her lips, “don’t tell her I told you. Act surprised.”
She doesn’t give me any time to respond before she’s tugging me off the last step and into the foyer, then toward the living room, where everyone is sitting with their mugs of hot chocolate, still waking up. I’m soaking in the tree when Maeve throws a blanket over me, and Annalise comes from the kitchen with two red mugs in her hands.
“Here we go,” she says, approaching us. “Two fresh mugs of hot cocoa.”
“Thank you.” I shoot her an appreciative smile as I take one of the mugs.
“Thanks, Mom,” Maeve says, leaning up to kiss her mother on the cheek before accepting her mug. “Merry Christmas.”
I watch as Maeve’s dad takes a seat next to the tree, gathering a couple presents and passing them around the room. A neatly wrapped box gets placed onto my lap, and even though I know what it is, for some reason, I have this overwhelming urge to cry. I smile through it, opening it up as everyone else opens theirs, but I’m holding my breath. Beckoning the sob to stay in my chest, to subside.
Everything is so cozy and festive andwarm. I’ve never gotten a Christmas present before, ever. My mom never even knew what day it was long enough to celebrate holidays or birthdays.
Just as Maeve had told me, inside the wrapping paper is a box containing a Christmas pajama set that matches the ones that her dad and brothers are wearing.
“Merry Christmas, Tatum,” Annalise tells me from her spot on the couch.
“Thank you,” I manage to get out, clearing my throat as I stare at the clothes in my hands.
My phone starts to buzz in my pocket, pulling me from all the welcomed chaos around me, so I fish it out to check the screen when my limbs go rigid.Jennifer. I haven't seen that name in years, and it makes my heart stutter inside my chest, but in a way that sends a wave of nausea through me. She never calls. When she does, it’s because she wants something from me.
I don’t know why I still have her number saved.
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
I don’t know how long I’m staring at the screen, but eventually it goes dark as her call goes to voicemail. The noise around me quiets, and I realize it’s because my heart poundingloudly took its place. I feel something on my arm, pulling me from my daze as I look down to see Maeve’s hand grasping me.
Lifting my head, I’m met with her dark eyes.
“Are you okay?”
I blink.AmI okay? I don’t even have time to think about that question as my phone buzzes again, my eyes glancing back down at the screen. It’s her. Again. Maeve’s eyes must follow, too, because she gives me a small tug.
“Who’s Jennifer?”
I swallow thickly. “My mother.”
She gapes up at me.
“Are you going to answer?” she whispers.
I don’t answer for a while, just watching my screen again as I wait for her name to disappear. After a few seconds, it goes to voicemail for the second time. Whatever she wants, she must want it badly to call me twice in a row.
