He laughs weakly, shaking his head. “I couldn’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not… I don’t…” He sighs. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“So, that’s what is holding you back?”
Tate swallows thickly, almost gulping. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
Peeking over at him, I notice the way he’s tapping his fingers against his thigh in quick succession, as if he’s nervous. He must notice too because he flexes his fingers before reaching up to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, trying to busy his hand.
“And there’s a girl?” I continue. “That you want to kiss?”
“Yes.”
It was just me, then. The tension. The longing gaze. Holy shit, he probably thought I was staring at him like somefreak. Like it could get any worse. But this is what I wanted, right? This was better; he had a girl he wanted to kiss. Problem solved. Now, Icould get over whatever the hell was going on in my brain, all because I saw him shirtless.
This is how it needs to be. This is good.
But apparently not, because it’s all I can think about in silence for the rest of the ride.Whyam I jealous over a girl I don’t even know? I have no clue what she looks like or what her name is. All I know is that I feel this rush of heat under my skin at the thought of Tate wanting to kiss a girl. A girl that’s not me, andthatmeans I’ve officially lost it.
I need to get laid, that must be it. It’s not that serious. I just need…release. That’s all. That’s what I’m chalking it up to.
Until we get checked into our hotel, finally done driving for the day, and walk into our room—where my stupid,stupidmouth opens the second I drop my bags to the floor.
“I could help you.”
My stomach churns at the fact that I’ve said that out loud, and I quickly face away from him as I tiptoe toward the bed, plopping down on the mattress and hoping I somehow sink into it for eternity.
He blinks at me, and I can slowly see him trying to piece together my words. “Help me…”
I’m insane, like actually clinically insane.
Oh my God.
“Um, kissing. I could help you with kissing.”
I watch him gulp, and… Should I make a run for it? Just dart out of the room and out of sight, forever? I could run away, change my name, and get an entirely new identity. Yeah, that sounds really good right about now.
“‘Cause we’re comfortable together, right?” I shrug, even though I’m dying inside. “It’d just be a friend helping a friend. So you can finally kiss the girl.”
His lips part as he looks at me like he might be dreaming, and hell, I wish he were. I wish I had never opened my mouth. “I, uh…”
“Oh myGod.” I laugh awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck as I stand. “That’s completely insane. I’m insane. Ignore me.”
And before he can respond, before he can even react, I’m darting into the bathroom and closing the door behind me like he’s going to be chasing after me or something. If there was a window in here, I’d sneak out of it, but I’m trapped. Trapped with my own mistakes and dumb decisions. There’s no running away now.
What the hell am I doing?
I wait for the embarrassed flush of my cheeks to subside before I finally leave the bathroom, daring to sneak a glance over at Tate, who is sitting onmybed. My brows raise faintly as I approach him, my fingers toying together in front of me. His knee bounces anxiously as he peeks up at me through his glasses.
“Okay,” he says.
“Okay?”
“We can… You can…” he rasps, “help me.”
My knees practically wobble at his words, not what I was expecting at all, so I hurry to sit on the bed before I can embarrass myself even more. Pulling one leg up, I twist to face him, my brows furrowing as I blink at him for a second, trying to study his features for signs of amusement. When I don’t see any, I lick my lips.
