Five minutes later, I joined them and had them kneel before me. Normally, getting a blowjob from two hot women always got me hard. But not this time. Not without looking at Lana. I could feel her tense from across the room, and it took everything in me not to look at her.
I focused on Madison and Kira, running my hands through their hair while they touched me and took their turns sucking my cock. They were professionals. Though they were young, only in their early twenties, they had all the experience they needed to give what I expected from them.
Madison had her mouth around my cock, with one hand rubbing the base. Kira watched, encouraging her with dirty words to take me in deeper, while her hands rubbed up and down my thighs.
But no matter how hot the scene was, I just couldn’t get hard.
My jaw tensed, and the urge to look up continued to grow. I hated it. This had always been my safe place. It’s what I did best. Standing in front of the camera with one or more women pleasuring me was what I was good at. But one single person was holding me back from fully embracing it.
“Motherfucker,” I grunted, gripping Madison’s head tighter by fisting her hair with my hands. I held her there andstarted thrusting my hips, face-fucking her hard in the hopes I would finally get hard.
But nothing.
It wasn’t helping.
Without meaning to, I looked up at Lana.
Her eyes immediately locked with mine, and her lips pressed together tightly. Her cheeks were bright red. She wasn’t writing. She was frozen. I could tell she was trying to stay professional, but I could read her too well. It was a mix of discomfort, curiosity, and confusion, and they all hit me at once.
My dick twitched, reacting to her watching me, and that threw me off harder than expected.
I pulled out of Madison’s mouth with a sharp exhale and stepped back. My chest rose and fell hard. “Stop.”
Both girls looked up, startled. Madison wiped her lips with the back of her hand. “Did we do something wrong?”
I shook my head and kept my tone flat. “No. You didn’t.”
Kira frowned. “Then what’s wrong, Buster?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I said, even though everything felt wrong. The lighting was perfect, the sound was fine, and the girls were doing exactly what they were supposed to do. And yet I couldn’t get out of my own head. I couldn’t focus with Lana here, and still, looking at her was the only way my body obeyed.
I glanced up again. Lana had gone back to pretending to look at her notes. The tension in her shoulders was clear, and she nervously clicked her pen with her thumb. She shouldn’t have been here. I was the one who said yes, and now I was paying for it.
Rocco leaned back in his chair, looking as relaxed as ever. “You good, man?” he asked, amused but slightly concerned.
“I’m fine,” I muttered.
The girls were waiting. Madison shifted awkwardly on her knees, glancing up at me for direction. “You want us to start again?”
“No.” I ran a hand over my face, feeling the frustration boil. “Take twenty.”
Kira frowned. “Seriously? We just got started.”
“I said take twenty,” I repeated, sharper this time.
Madison opened her mouth to protest but saw the look on my face and stopped herself. She grabbed her robe and pulled it on quickly, exchanging a wary glance with Kira before both of them slipped out of the room without another word.
The second the door closed, silence filled the space. I stood there for a few seconds, staring at the bed, my mind buzzing with too many thoughts at once. Never had something like this happened before, and it was clear—at least to me—why a normal filming session like this wasn’t working out.
I didn’t blame Lana. Not directly. But I mostly blamed myself for letting her into my world and being unable to suppress my attraction to her.
“You need a moment?” Trey asked, lowering his camera. He looked concerned.
“Yeah. Cut the lights for a moment.”
“Shit, man, what’s going on?” Rocco got up from his chair. “Are you feeling sick?”
“No, I just need a couple of minutes.” With that, I pulled my sweatpants back on and walked out of the room.
