Going around to the other side of the bed, I slid in beside her. The moment I was settled, she turned into me, her body finding mine in the dark. She curled against my side, her head coming to rest on my chest, and her arm draping over my stomach. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close, with one hand resting on her back while the other stroked her hair. We had been here like this before, only a couple of hours ago. But this time, I was certain that she’d get the rest she deserved.
I could feel the tension slowly leaving her body as she surrendered to the safety of my embrace. Her breathing, which had been shallow all this time, began to deepen. I lay there in the quiet, listening to the sound of her breathing as it started to even out. I didn’t move and fought my own tiredness. I didn’t want to fall asleep.
“You’ll be okay,” I whispered against her hair as I continued to rub her back.
She made a small sound, her face nestling further in the crook of my neck. “I’m just so tired,” she whimpered.
“I know. You can sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
With that promise lingering in the air, she finally fell asleep.
I had been watching her sleep for hours, with her body curled into mine. I didn’t close my eyes once. I didn’t even feel tired. I only wanted to make sure she stayed calm, that nothing startled her, and that she didn’t wake up panicked or shaken. Her face looked softer in sleep, her lips parted slightly. She was completely out, drained by everything that had happened, and I kept hoping that the sleep would give her even a small break from everything she’d been carrying.
My thoughts didn’t stop all night. I kept replaying everything between us, every choice, every mistake, every moment that brought us here. I wondered what she thought about us now, if she imagined anything past today, if she could still see something good between us after everything that had gone wrong. I knew what I wanted. I wanted her, in whatever way she would let me stay. If she needed space, I would give it to her without hesitation. If she needed me close, I wouldn’t move an inch.
She shifted a little as the first ray of sun came through the window. Her fingers twitched against my arm, then her breathing changed, and her eyes fluttered open slowly.
I stayed still, watching her come back to herself. Her gaze moved from my chest to the blanket, then finally up to me. She blinked a few times, her expression groggy but clearer than last night. I waited for her to say something or look away or do anything that might tell me how she felt right now.
She stared at me for a long moment, with her eyes searching my face like she was trying to remember something important. Then she spoke.
“You said you loved me.”
I held her gaze. I had been unaware that she had even heard me say it last night, and I thought maybe it slipped past her, and I’d get a second chance to tell her. But she had heardme, and now she was confronting me with it. She had every right to.
“I did say that. And I meant it,” I told her.
She didn’t say the words back, but I didn’t expect her to. Not after everything. I wasn’t looking for anything from her.
She blinked a few times, still pressed against me with her cheek warm against my arm. Whatever was going through her head right now, I wasn’t going to pressure her to talk about it. Instead, I changed the subject, leaving her with the knowledge that I loved her.
“Do you feel okay?” I asked quietly, brushing a strand of her hair away from her forehead.
She nodded once. “I think so.”
“You hungry? I can make you something.”
Her expression shifted immediately. “The kitchen is a mess,” she reminded me.
Shit…right.
My jaw clenched. “Then I’ll take you out.”
She nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Lana
It seemed like eating and crying were the only things I had done the past couple of hours. Callan took me to a brunch spot where he ordered food that would’ve filled about ten people’s bellies. He didn’t even look at the menu, just rattled off a list to the waitress with a confidence that left no room for argument or question. He wanted me to have whatever I wanted, a little bit of everything so I wouldn’t have to make up my mind if I wanted French toast or pancakes, or the avocado toast with the poached eggs he knew I’d like. The place he took me to had amenu full of vegetarian options, and I knew he picked it because of his knowledge of my cow’s milk allergy. He even double checked when my latte came, making sure that it was almond milk instead of cow’s. It was a small thing, but to me, it showed just how much he cared, how much he paid attention to the little details about me.
The food was good, but my appetite wasn’t fully there. I could feel Callan’s eyes on me, but he didn’t push me to eat. He just ate his own massive breakfast.
I turned my gaze back to Callan when I was done with my food. He had just finished as well, leaning back in his chair as he watched me with a patient expression.
“Finished?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“We’ll take the rest home.”
