“I don’t know. Benedict wants them, and I do too. But if I can’t give him them, I don’t know if he’ll leave me,” I said, and my voice caught on a sob.
“That will not happen,” Benedict stated firmly from behind me.
“Oh, I didn’t hear you come in,” I spluttered, trying to regain my composure at being caught so raw.
“Resolve this, my son,”Lady Catherine ordered and faded away.
“Do you really believe that I will leave you?”
“I think you want children, and so do I,” I replied, dropping my head.
“But we aren’t dependent on them, darling. If we have them, that would be wonderful. If not, we have each other, and that’s all that matters to me, unless you believe otherwise. Would you leave me if we can’t?”
“No!” The word burst from me like a bullet.
“Then you understand how I feel, because I can live a life without children but not without you. If it comes to it, we’ll be the best aunt and uncle around. But there are other ways to have children, aren’t there? Surely adoption and fostering still happen?”
“Yes, would you consider that?” I asked as hope rose in me.
“Giving a child a home that desperately needs one? Of course. Mariah, please understand, all I need is you, and if I have you, then happiness will follow. I’m certain of it,” Benedict said, drawing me close.
He lifted my hand and kissed my ring. He touched my wedding ring. “I meant it when I placed this on your finger.”
Damn, I was emotional tonight as a soft sob escaped me. Benedict pulled me in tight to him and wrapped me up. I leaned my head on his chest and let his strength and warmth flood through me. This man was the one I fought for and had nearly died for. Benedict would always be the love of my life.
Benedict
Mariah had been tearing herself apart for the last few months. Every month, she disappeared into the bathroom and came out heartbroken. The fact that she was failing to get with child was wearing her down, and Mariah was starting to worry me.
When she fell asleep in my arms, I slid out of bed and headed for my study. It remained my sanctuary whilst I was here. A yowl startled me, and I saw Fluffers, Mariah’s stubborn cat, shoot past me. The damn thing hated me.
Fluffers glared at me, and I glowered back. Then he let out another yowl and shot off.
Shaking my head, I let myself into the study. I poured a snifter of whiskey and sat down in my armchair. The fire blazed to life, and I smiled as I knew Cat was close.
“She is sad,”Cat declared, appearing in the armchair opposite mine. No need to ask who Cat was referring to.
“Yes. I love her and try to reassure her, but I’m failing, it seems.”
“She wants a child. That much is clear.”
“I don’t know why she’s put so much pressure on herself.”
“Because she wishes to give you everything.”
“She already has.”
“And Mariah knows that, but because she loves you so much, she worries about your happiness.”
“Cat, again, I’m happy.”
“She isn’t from our world and is adjusting. Mariah fought for you and rightfully won your respect and love. Give her time. She married into nobility, Benedict, something she wasn’t prepared for. It hurts her that others are starting families while she and you watch from afar and cannot take part,”Cat replied.
I stared at my ancestor and nodded. She wasn’t wrong. Mariah had also been thrust into a society that judged as harshly today as it did back in my day. I was used to the machinations of the English nobility. Mariah and her friends weren’t, and that left them open to criticism and put-downs. But those dealing with them weren’t prepared for my siblings’ response. CeeCee had reduced many society madams and their daughters to tears.
“I’m scared of losing her,” I whispered.
“That’s how you know it’s genuine love,”Cat said.
