“Nothing.”
He practicallyfelther skepticism.
“Isee. Well, if there’s nothing wrong, I’d wager you ought not to be scowling.”
“I’m notscowling,” he scowled, instinctively, before feeling her fingers on his face, prizing his eyebrows apart. Next, she turned the corner of his mouth.
“There,” she pointed out, smug and satisfied. “Nowyou are not scowling.”
“Aurelia—”
“At least the music was pleasing,” she interjected, putting a napkin on her lap. “I’ve never been to such an intimate musical, and it was a pleasure to hear the players being so good at what they do.”
“At least someone enjoyed it,” he muttered.
“We need to find a way to be present in London together,” she said anew. “Even if we appear infrequently.”
“Why?” The word near exploded from him, and he slammed his hand on the table. She jumped. “You are posing all the same arguments as Kate. Do you really think we will be spending most of our time attending social functions and smiling? Did you truly enjoy that farce of a show more than spending time in the village, giving our help where it is needed and appreciated?”
She blinked at him, as though trying to make sense of his anger. “Of course not. But that’s different.”
“No, it’s not. It’s where I’m needed. And, more to the point, it’s where I can be accepted. Andyou. Did you think the people of London would accept you now that you are a duchess and my wife? Of course they will resent you! You are precisely the antithesis of whatever traditions those vultures are raised on. It was never my plan to parade you in front of theton’ssharks and let them rip you apart!”
“They did notrip meapart,” she mumbled, her fingers curling keenly around the knife. Although she might have appeared calm and composed on the surface, the twin diamonds hanging from her earrings were trembling.
“Of course they did.” He ran an exhausted hand through his hair. “I hardly know why I agreed to go through with it. To show you, I suppose, that there is nothing for us here. You should stop trying for something that will never happen.”
“You want me to accept that your world will never accept me?” Her lip trembled. “For the entirety of our lives?”
“I didn’t marry you so I could drag you into drawing rooms and show you off. You are not some sort of trophy.”
“Then whydidyou marry me?”
“You know why.”
“No.” Her eyes glistened. “A marriage of convenience where you could not afford to find a wife the usual way.Fine. But tell me—why at all?”
“Because I am a duke, and I must have heirs!” He glared at her, hating that she had put him in a position where he must say it—and hating even more that he thought it would hurt her, though it was the reasonanyman sought a wife. Without falling in love, it was the most practical way of allying oneself with a powerful family, or producing heirs who could take over the estate and title, and have compassion for those who lived on them.
Sebastian had no need or desire for powerful allies. He had no desire to be in London or to play the game of politics. Since Catherine, that had been how he’d preferred to live his life.
“You know that was why I married you. Youknowit was not because I wanted a wife in any other sense. I’m not—” He had lost what he was trying to say, and his head pounded. What he really wanted was to go to bed and pretend this entire mess of an evening had never happened.
Aurelia stared at him, her face pale. He didn’t know why—he had been transparent about his motives from the very beginning. Getting along with her, particularly in the physical sense, had not changed any of it. All it meant was the process of getting her with child would be remarkably more agreeable.
“Do you regret it?” she whispered through trembling lips.
He flung his napkin on the table. “What?”
“You heard. Do you regret marrying me? Do you instead wish you had married a lady like Miss Davenport?”
“Who?” Sebastian stared at Aurelia, racking his brain trying to determine who this Miss Davenport was, and why he ought to care. “That sour-faced girl you were sitting with? Of course not! I just don’t want you to think that…” He didn’t know what he wanted her to think. “Must we have this conversation now?”
“If not now, then when?” Aurelia folded her arms beneath her bosom. “If I’m disappointing you as a wife, then we may as well discuss it sooner rather than later. Are you ashamed of me?”
“No,” he said flatly. “Not ashamed.”
“Not even when you have to defend your decision to marry me to your peers?”
