She gave a wistful half-laugh. “I expect he would have done, if it weren’t for Mother and me. She came to him when she was with child, and he dedicated himself instead to providing for us.”
Pity stirred in his chest. “Then I’m sorry to hear it.”
“So am I, although I never understood the scope of his sacrifice until after he passed.” She sighed. Uncle Roger had given her stability when her father had given her nothing. That meant everything, even if she'd been too young to understand it then. “Still, I’m grateful for the home he gave us while he could. He could have thrown us out, you know. His reputation suffered for housing us, I am certain of it.”
“And you have truly no idea who your real father might be?”
“None,” she said emphatically. “I’m not even sure my uncle ever knew. Mother kept her cards close to her chest, and it was impossible to know who he had been…” Words failed her. Sebastian had several crude ones to offer, but he decided against them. Now was not the moment. “Well, we didn’t know. And so I have always been in the dark about my heritage.
“He is a man of nobility, which is why he was so adamant about not admitting to his progeny, and I expect that’s why Uncle could never have done anything to persuade him to acknowledge me.”
“The cad,” Sebastian muttered. “One must always acknowledge one’s bastards.”
“Do you have any?” Her hand tightened on his arm. “B-bastards, I mean.”
“How wild do you think my youth, Aurelia?” He pinched her cheek teasingly, pushing the door to his bedchamber open. “No, I have no bastards—to my knowledge. Back when—when I was younger, that is—I was always very careful.”
“Good.”
He glanced at her stomach, still round and flat, although he knew it would take more than a few days of lying with her to produce a result—and even if he had, it would be too soon to tell. “Jealous, little shepherdess?”
“Yes,” she said immediately. “And I would be sorry for it if you had sired a bastard. I know what that feels like.”
“I would not be like your father,” he said, suddenly so racked with guilt he could hardly breathe. “Aurelia, you must believe that.”
She studied him for a moment before nodding. “I do. Truly.”
He allowed her to lead him to the bed, and to painstakingly remove his clothes, piece by wet piece. By now, she knew what she was about, and it was easy to give her the lead. And there, on the floor by the roaring fire, as the wind howled around them and torrential rain pounded the windows, they made love until all the water had dried from his skin, replaced by sweat.
She looked down into his face, her knees pressing against the carpet on either side of his hips, and smiled, kissing his nose lightly. “Did you have a good time at the lighthouse?”
“Yes.”
No.
Even now, sated, he felt restless, as though he ought to be doing something else other than being with his wife. Could it be about Kate?
No. The answer came to him immediately. Another flash of lightning snapped nearby as if to affirm that thought.
“Good.” She rose, still half-clothed, and found a cloth to clean herself with. After having done so, she rang for his valet. “Join me for dinner, Sebastian. We can discuss further improvements I want to make with the house.”
That sense of restlessness only deepened, and he fought the urge to shake her and tell her that there were more important considerations to be made than merely improving the house.
Except, to her, that was the thing of primary importance. And what else was he itching to do, anyway?
He shook off the lethargy in his limbs and gave her a small smile. No need to burden her with his ambivalent mood. “Of course. That sounds lovely, shepherdess.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
There was somethingoffwith Sebastian. He sat broodingly over dinner, scowling at his potatoes and only glancing at her when she asked him a question.
When he’d come back from the storm earlier—from the lighthouse—she’d assumed his preoccupation was something to do with the rain and being in wet clothes. But even as she had mounted him and taken him slowly, he had only half engaged with her. To be sure, his body hadfullyengaged, but…
She chewed her lip as she wondered how best to broach the question.
At the silence, he glanced up, as though suddenly aware of her presence. “My apologies,” he murmured. “I was miles away. Were you saying something?”
“No.” Aurelia set down her fork with some intent. “What’s on your mind, Sebastian?”
