And so, she brushed her feelings aside and concentrated on the immediate future. “So… what now?”
“Now you eat, and you rest.” He surveyed her for a long moment. “And when you are sufficiently recovered, we may discuss the redecorating of the drawing room.”
Sebastian hadn’t meant to make that concession. Her illness changed nothing about his plans and intentions. But the look of gratification that passed across her face made it, oddly, worth it.
He didn’t examine his feelings about that too closely.
The main thing was she was saved.
He supervised her having her broth, hovering over her as she insisted on eating it herself. Then, when she was tired once again and slept, he finally allowed her maid to sit with her while he took himself off to bed.
There, lying and staring at the ceiling, he wondered what on earth he was to do with a wife who would make changes to the house, and for whom he would sit for hours beside, waiting for her to waken from her fever.
In the moment, he had told himself that he only felt this way because of Kate. He had lost one wife—he would not lose another.
But now, reflecting on it, that wasn’t the full truth.
Yes, losing Kate had devastated him beyond reason; that fact was unavoidable. But the prospect of losing Aurelia had threatened to devastate him for very similar reasons. The force of his affection for her was nowhere near as strong, but there was attraction, and hell take it, therewassomething there.
A reason why he feared losing her—not just because it pressed on the wound Kate had left behind, but because he would grieve Aurelia too.
When had this happened? What had she done to get so under his skin?
And more importantly, did he want to prevent it?
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Aurelia’s recovery was agonizingly slow.
She spent the first few days in her suite, either in her bedchamber or in the small sitting room adjoined to it, reclining on the sofa positioned before the hearth. She despised the paleness of her skin and her fatigue, which had never before bothered her. The Duchess of Fenwick had, on occasion, complained of fatigue, requiring Aurelia to come and read to her, and it had been deathly boring.
As it transpired, being the one read to was only fractionally more interesting. And only because she didn’t have the energy to be bored.
Eventually, however, she made her way downstairs to her first dinner with Sebastian since she had gotten ill. He had taken a less active role in her recovery, coming to sit with her, and even sometimes reading to her, but more often devoting himself to his other duties.
As master of the lands and all its tenants, she imagined he had quite a bit of catching up to do.
Thus, she was unsurprised to find him reading a stack of correspondence when she finally made her way downstairs for dinner. At the sight of her, his gaze jumped up, taking in her shawl, the cane Jane hadinsistedshe use, and her expression—which, she felt, was set in grim lines of determination.
He immediately rose, dropping the letter and hurrying to her side. “I had expected someone to escort you down,” he chided gently, guiding her to her seat. To her surprise and relief, she discovered it was the one beside his. No more sitting at opposite sides of the table like strangers.
Perhaps she could climb atop his lap again.
The thought thrilled her a little more than it ought, considering she hadn’t yet decided if she’d fully forgiven him, or if she would, in time, allow him access to her bedchamber.
“I was perfectly able to make my way downstairs,” she murmured, not mentioning that the stairs had left her feeling sorely weakened. “I was not on death’s door, you know.”
“You were ill,” he pressed, easing her into the chair.
“And now I am not.”
“I will be the judge of that.” He returned to his seat, and she noticed anew that there were dark circles under his eyes; his face was almost as drawn and tired as hers. “How do you feel?”
Unable to help herself, she reached out to draw her fingers along those dark circles. “Perhaps I should be asking you the same question.”
“I often sleep poorly.” He shook away her concern. “Aurelia.”
“Tired, but ready to be out and about again.” She smiled gently at him, and to her surprise, his face softened a little in return. After a second, he seemed to catch himself, frowning and returning to his soup.
