“Frida,” he said. “She was from Denmark. My grandfather fled there at the time of the Greek junta. My parents met in Copenhagen and returned to Greece after things settled down.”
I was half listening, half thinking how I wanted to kiss him again. His fiery mouth, his slow, wet, coaxing tongue.
“Alex?” He was already looking at me, so I don’t know why I said it. “Thank you.” I tucked an unruly strand of hair behind his ear. He raised a brow. That fucking brow. He was probably trying to figure out the conflicting signals—the push-pull vibes I was transmitting. “Thank you for this…” I gestured around us—a cavern in the cliffs, an enchanted sunset, an evening gift-wrapped with sparkly stars. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to see your father tonight.”
“I can still take the last ferry out,” he said. “Come with me. It’s not Santorini, but it’s beautiful in a wild, untamed way. One road, one taxi. Bare, rugged, intimate.”
The way his voice dropped at the end sent a thousand brazen images flashing before my eyes. His weight on my body, lips crushing mine, our fingers entwined. My toes curled. I wanted it. I wanted it so badly, my cheeks flushed with the intensity of it.
And then what?Another voice piped in.Get back on the boat and fail at the one thing that would make things right between you and Dolly?
Nikos was the litmus test. A living, breathing, quantifiable yard-stick Dolly was measuring me by—my love, my loyalty, my worth as a daughter. It wasn’t like I never rebelled. It wasmylife after all. I lost my virginity to Vijay Khanna in his uncle’s motel. A creaky bed, a musty carpet, the smell of stale cigarettes. Afterward, he brought me ice from the ice machine. I’d wrapped it in a towel and held it against myself. My defiance melted into a wet rag with streaks of blood between my legs. Sex felt hollow and empty, like all my attempts at love and romance. I didn’t know exactly how my relationship with Dolly affected my relationship with men. All I knew is I needed her on board before I could be happy.
“I should get back,” I said. “Isabelle will be looking for me.”
Alex’s eyes searched mine, looking for reasons, motivations, the things that bent me. Then he stood and held his hand out.
“I’ll take you back to Oia and head to the ferry from there.” He helped me up, and we gathered our things.
The ride back should’ve been different. People on pink motorbikes should be happy. Cotton-candy happy. But Alex was quiet and I was confused. Being sadandhorny is so confusing. To top it off, I was sadbecauseI was horny. If you’ve ever said no to someone whose kisses sizzle on your lips like butter in a hot pan, because it’s the sensible thing to do, you know the feeling. You might pat yourself on the back, but you also want to bitch-slap the part of you that denied you the experience.
I wrapped my arms around Alex and sulked the whole way to Oia.
When he stopped outside the ice-cream shop, I un-smooshed my face from his back and got off the bike. Stray dogs, up from their daytime naps, came around to say hello. The crowds had dispersed, streaming into cafes and tavernas. I had a moment of panic as I looked around.
“You think they’ll still be there?” I glanced at the castle.
“Can’t hurt to check.” Alex parked the scooter, and we made our way to the spot where he last saw them. It was empty, except for a few couples lingering in the dark.
“Oh no. They’re probably searching for me.” My phone didn’t work in Greece—at least not to call or text. If Isabelle had contacted Dolly, the whole situation would be blown way out of control by now. My shoulders drooped with the weight of what I’d done.
“I should’ve never taken off like that. They’re probably worried sick, looking for me. The last thing Isabelle and Thomas need is—” I paused as I thought of Thomas. “Hey, can I use your phone?” Thomas had a local number. Alex had a local number. Greece calling Greece. Problem solved.
I pulled up Thomas’s number from my contact list and dialed it on Alex’s phone, cringing as it rang.
“Hello?” Thomas picked up on the first ring, no doubt in red-flag mode.
“Thomas, it’s me. Moti.”
“Moti. Oh my God.” He must have put his hand over the phone, because his next words were muffled, probably alerting everyone it was me. A frantic back-and-forth ensued while I clutched the phone and repeated to myself:
You’re such a shithead, Moti.
“Moti.” Thomas came back on the line. “I’m so sorry. We stopped for drinks and completely forgot about you. Are you still at the ice-cream shop?”
Mother. Fucker.
They hadn’t even noticed I was missing. Isabelle wasn’t wringing her hands. Dolly wasn’t calling the police. No one was looking for me, or waiting, or worrying. I wasn’t anywhere on their stage, although I’d given them spotlight roles on mine.
“Everything okay?” asked Alex.
I nodded and felt something growing inside me. “Thomas, can you put Isabelle on the line?”
A slight pause as the phone changed hands.
“Moti!” Isabelle sounded breathless. Music and laughter streamed through from her end. “We’ll be there in a few minutes. Wait till you see the photos Fia got. I’ll have Thomas set up a slideshow tonight. There’s a theater in the villa. We can all kick back and—”
“I’m not going to the villa tonight.” Now two things growing inside of me—two round, firm things.
