“I know. I said a lot of things. To you, to myself. Then I remembered what you said. ‘Love don’t die.’ It’s true, Damian. I have never stopped loving you, from the time I was a little girl up in that room. When I follow my heart, it always leads me back to you.”
For a moment, Damian just looked at me. He had what he’d always wanted, but he faced an unexpected hurdle, a final battle. With himself. Was he worthy of redemption? Of love? Of forgiveness? That was something only he could decide for himself.
He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “I am so tired,güerita. Tired of pretending I can go on without you when all the while it’s breaking my heart. Tell me this is it. Tell me this is forever. You, me, and Sierra.”
I told him what he wanted to hear with a kiss, a whisper soft promise against his lips. All of the muscles in his body relaxed as if he’d finally let go of some heavy burden.
“I want to remember this,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “If I die tonight, I want to die remembering what it was like to hold the whole world in my hands.”
We climbed up the stairs to the master bedroom. When Damian shut the door, my legs started to quake. I never knew what to expect with him. He played my body like a maestro, at times to the rhythm of a harsh, primal beat, at times like a finely tuned rhapsody.
“Take off your pants and get in bed,” he said.
I did as he told me, jittery with nerves and anticipation. I hadn’t been with anyone in eight years. My body had changed after Sierra. I shimmied out of my bra, but kept my top on.
The bed shifted when he slipped in beside me. One arm slid around my shoulder, cradling me to his chest. His skin was warm and smooth under my cheek. God, I’d missed the way he felt, his scent, his touch, the steady beat of his heart.
“Sleep.” He kissed the top of my forehead, stroking my hair like it was made of the finest gold.
I must have registered surprise because he chuckled. I had been expecting a fiery reunion.
“Just this,” he said. “This feels so, so good.”
The last time we’d been together, when Sierra interrupted us, he had been like a raging bull coming out of the pen, and although I could feel his undeniable arousal, I could also feel something else. Damian was content. For the first time, no one was closing in on us, no one was tearing us apart. We had found our way back to each other. We were finally free tobe. It was a feeling Damian wanted to savor, something that surpassed lust and desire and carnal pleasure. It was a sense of belonging that blurs the lines between two people, when you find your ankle wrapped around someone else’s, or your fingers intertwined, and it’s so natural, so automatic, that you have no conscious thought of it happening. When I think of God, I think of all these magical, inexplicable things, multiplied by infinity.
“Was it hard? Sierra’s birth?” Damian was still stroking my hair.
“Yes.” I wasn’t going to lie. “But it had more to do with my heart than my body.”
We lay quietly for a while, knowing we would do it all over again, for the little miracle that slept in the next room.
“You named her after the mountains in MaMaLu’s lullaby.”
“I did.” I smiled. “Did she tell you her middle name?”
He shook his head.
“Mariana.”
“For MaMaLu and Adriana.” Damian shifted so we were lying side to side on the bed. “Her feet are just like yours.”
“They’re not.”
“I saw them when I tucked her in tonight. The big toe doesn’t want anything to do with the rest of them. There’s a huge space in-between.”
“My feet aren’t like that.”
“Oh no?” Damian flung the covers aside and knelt by my foot. “See this?” He held out my big toe. “I can fit my entire nose between this and the next toe.” He proceeded to try to prove his point.
I started laughing because it tickled, but then I caught a glimpse of something and my breath hitched. Esteban was back.
“What?” asked Damian, sliding next to me.
“Nothing.” I pushed the hair away from his forehead and kissed him on the nose. “I love you.”
“I love you too,güerita.” He held my pinky finger to his chest, next to his heart. “And now I’m going to kiss you until you feel it in the tip of your anti-social toe.”
And he did. His tongue parted my mouth, one hand gripped the back of my neck, the other pulling me so close that every inch of my body came in hot, electric contact with every inch of his. My back arched as he pulled my leg over his, bending my knee around his hip, and grinding himself into me. A throaty moan escaped me as we fell into a frantic rhythm, his hands on my ass, squeezing and releasing.
