Amy nodded. “I told everyone who asked that yes, I had prayed about things with you. I had prayed that God would take away the memories or lessen their impact on me. I prayed that I wouldn’t remember the pain from that time eight years ago. When I realized I still had feelings for you, I told God He was going to have to make it blatantly clear that we were supposed to be together before I’d consider risking my heart again. In my mind, that meant that everything would work out smoothly.”
Will still wouldn’t allow himself to find any hope in her words. He had a hard time believing that so much had changed in the past five days that she was able to put his—their—past behind her. And he still didn’t trust himself to say anything, so he remained quiet, waiting to see where this was going.
Amy paused as if expecting him to say something. Her brows drew together a bit when he didn’t respond. She caught her lower lip between her teeth for a moment then continued. “I wanted Him to take it all away, but Cami and Charlotte both told me that sometimes the things God wills for us don’t come easily. I wanted things to be easy for us, but over the past few days I’ve realized that maybe that isn’t God’s will for us.”
“So you’re not here to tell me that you’ve gotten over your issues with Delia and the hurt from your past?”
Amy shook her head. “No, it’s all still there.”
“Then I don’t understand. What more do we have to say to each other?”
Slowly Amy walked toward him, stopping when she was within arm’s reach. She looked up at him, her green eyes luminous with emotion. “Lots, I hope. I’m here to ask you to help me.”
“Help you? There’s nothing I can say to change what’s happened in my past. I can’t will what I had with Delia out of your mind. I thought we settled that already.”
“I know you can’t do that. But over these past few days I got a glimpse—a really big one—of what life would be like without you and Isabella. I didn’t like it very much. In fact, the pain of not having you in my life hurt far worse than the pain I’ve endured because of the memories I have of you and Delia.”
Will felt his throat tighten and for the first time allowed hope to flicker in his heart.
“What I need from you…” Amy paused and took a quick breath. “What I need from you is understanding. I know that we’re still in the early stages of this relationship, and that your feelings for me aren’t what mine are for you yet, but I’m hoping that by understanding what I struggle with, you might be willing to help me.”
“How can I do that?”
“Just by accepting that I will have moments when these memories will take me off-guard. Maybe I’ll get emotional. Maybe I’ll get angry. But I’m committed to working through them. Getting to the other side of them without messing things up between us.”
“You want another chance? Just to see if things work out or not?”
Her face paled a little at his words, and she blinkedrapidly. “I love you, Will.”
The words, though softly spoken, hit him with the force of a sledgehammer.
“I know what I want.” This chance will be for you. If you decide it’s not working for you, you can walk away. I wouldn’t expect you to stay with me if that made you unhappy.”
Now Will wanted to speak, but the words wouldn’t come past his tight throat.
“With God’s help, I’m going to learn to accept these memories instead of wishing them away. I’m willing to take whatever part of your heart and your love you’re willing to give me, because I’ve realized that part is better than nothing at all. You make me feel things that no other man has. Please give me a chance to prove that I can do this. That I can love you and Isabella the way you deserve.”
“Oh, Amy.” Her name came out as a ragged whisper as he reached for her. He didn’t kiss her, he just pulled her tight against him, tucking her head beneath his chin, over his pounding heart and held on. He pressed his cheek against the soft silkiness of her hair and closed his eyes. If this was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.
He felt her arms wrap around his waist, and they stood like that for several minutes. When the tightness in his chest and throat eased enough for him to speak, Will loosened his hold so he could look at her. He took her face in his hands.
“You don’t get part of anything, sweetheart. Not my heart, nor my love. You get it all.” Will used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that spilled from her eyes. “I know you don’t get it, and I can’t explain it very well. Irememberthe love I had for Delia, and I always will, but Ifeelthe love I have for you. And yes, I do love you. My time with Delia is kind of like a dried rose—still beautiful but in a different way. I can remember how it was when it was alive, but I don’t experience it in the same way I did then. This between us now is as vibrant and alive as what I had with Delia yearsago, but this is now. It doesn’t replace what I had back then because this is beautiful and wonderful in its own right. I choose you. On this day and every day to come, I choose you.”
A sob escaped Amy’s lips, and more tears flowed. This time it was she who had no words.
He bent down and pressed a kiss to her lips. “And I will do all I can to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”
Amy’s hands came up then to slide behind his neck. She rose up on her tiptoes as she drew his head to hers. Their lips met again in gentleness. Will found himself awash in emotion as he held her in his arms again. His perfect fit.
When the kiss ended, she looked up at him, her gaze still bright with tears. “So you’ll be understanding when I still struggle.”
“Yes,” Will said without hesitation. “Here’s what we’re going to do. When one of those memories comes along and sucker punches you, I want you to reach for my hand and look into my eyes. And I’m going to remind you that I have chosen you. That I love you. And if we’re not together when it happens, I want you to phone me so I can still remind you of that. Deal?”
Amy nodded.
“And in time, I hope that you will get to the point where when one of the memories comes along, you’ll be able to say to yourselfhe chose me. He loves me. And no longer need me to reassure you because you’ll know in your heart that it’s true.”
Amy smiled at him then. “Can I ask one more thing from you?”
