Amy handed him a plate with a couple of pancakes on it. “There’s fruit there, too.”
Once breakfast was done and cleaned up, people scattered to get ready for church. Amy settled down at the table and enjoyed another cup of coffee. Before leaving, she went back up to her bedroom to grab her Bible and then joined Lance in his truck with Julia. She’d debated texting or phoning Will to apologize but figured she’d wait to do it in person.
She was talking with Charlotte and Henry in the foyer of the church when she felt small arms grasp her hips in a tight hug. The familiar embrace brought a smile to her face. “Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”
“I’m great! Daddy said I had to remember to thank you for my party. Since you were asleep last night.”
Amy dropped down on one knee, so she was at eye level with Isabella. “Did you have a good time?”
“It was wonderful. The best day ever.” The little girl’s voice cracked as she flung her arms around Amy’s neck. “Thank you.”
Amy closed her eyes as she hugged her close. “You are very welcome. I had fun, too.”
Isabella released her and stepped back. “I loved being a fairy. I wanted to wear it again today, but Daddy said no.”
Amy glanced up to see Will standing behind Isabella. He looked so handsome in his pleated black slacks and white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Her heart skipped a beat as their gazes met. He held out his hand, and she slipped her hand into his and allowed him to help her back to her feet.
He smiled, not releasing her right away. “Good morning.”
“I am so sorry about last night,” Amy said. She described her morning, glad to see Will didn’t seem upset at all about what had happened.
He reached out and ran his fingers along her cheek. “It’s all good. I know you were tired. Maybe we can try again soon.”
Amy nodded. “Definitely.”
She glanced at Charlotte and Henry, suddenly remembering their presence. Even though Will had told her that they wouldn’t have a problem with him moving on, it still surprised her to see wide smiles on their faces.
“Why don’t we go in and find seats?” Will said.
They found an empty pew, and Will stepped back to allow Charlotte and Henry to go in first. Amy followed Isabella in as she wanted to sit between her grandmother and her “best friend.” As Will settled on the pew next to her, his leg bumped her and nerves fluttered to life in her stomach. Their choice to sit together was pretty much an all-out declaration that they were together, and she wasn’t oblivious to the glances that were sent their way.
The rest of the family found seats in the pews in front of them, and once again the Collingsworth clan took up a large section of the left-hand side of the church. Amy felt bad that Jessa and Cami couldn’t have been there,too, but she knew it wasn’t worth the risk to Jessa.
As they stood to sing, Amy gripped the pew in front of her to keep from swaying into Will. She had dreamed of moments like this. Being in church with him. Singing and worshipping together.
They sang familiar songs, some going back to her childhood, but as they began one in particular, a memory hit her like a wrecking ball. The pain it brought took her breath away and made her stomach heave. She swallowed hard, but when her hands started to tremble, Amy knew she needed to leave.
Keeping her head bent, she said, “Excuse me.”
“What’s wrong?” Will asked in a low voice as he moved to let her past.
Without saying anything, Amy hurried as fast as she could to the back of the church and out into the foyer. She headed to the bathrooms and straight into an empty stall. Thankful the toilet had a lid, she shut it and sank down. How could a memory shake her up so badly? Had it been because her emotions were already so near the surface that this particular memory had pushed through so easily? Every pain she’d felt back then had flooded her with scalding hot hurt.
She hadn’t wanted to come to church that day. The pain of seeing Will and Delia together had been still so fresh thatshe hadn’t wanted to be anywhere near them. Especially in a place where she’d dreamed of being with him in just the way Delia was. But her parents had insisted, so she’d gone and tried to look anywhere but where they were, just two pews ahead, seated with his family.
As they’d stood for the closing song, Amy’s gaze had gone to them as if drawn by a magnet. Will had bent down to say something to Delia, his arm around her slender waist. She’d lifted her head and smiled at him. The look of love blazing between them had stabbed at her like a knife. And when Delia had turned to slip her arm around Will’s back, her head pressed against his chest, it had taken all Amy’s strength to look away and to keep the pain from her face. A truly difficult task for a girl who was used to sharing what she felt with the world. The depth of the hurt she felt had become an anguished secret she’d hid from everyone around her.
Amy braced a hand against the wall of the bathroom stall. She took several deep breaths and let them out.The past must stay in the past. The past must stay in the past.How was she supposed to keep it there when these memories kept sneaking up and taking her unaware? What did she need to do to get beyond these memories and the hurt?
He was withhernow.
He wanted to be withhernow.
But did he really? Delia had been his first choice, his first wife. If she hadn’t died, he would still be with her. He hadn’t had a choice in having her taken from him. Could he say that if he’d been able to go back and do things differently, he wouldn’t make the choices that would mean Delia would live?
Amy knew she had to go back to the sanctuary. Will must be wondering what had happened to her. But she needed to pull herself together in order to be able to brush aside his concern. She closed her eyes and took several more breaths, willing herself to calm down. If she could hide her emotional upheaval as a teenager, she could do it now.
Finally feeling the emotions ebb away and the pained memory fade, Amy left the stall. She looked at herself in the mirror and realized that at some point she’d been crying. Ripping a paper towel from the dispenser on the wall, she dabbed at the wetness on her cheeks. Because she didn’t have her purse, she couldn’t fix up her makeup, but since it hadn’t been a full-on crying jag, there wasn’t too much damage. Once satisfied that she didn’t look too worse for wear, Amy left the safe confines of the women’s bathroom and headed back to the sanctuary. She half expected to find Will waiting for her somewhere along the way, but she made it to the door without running into him.
