Nate rubbed the palms of his hands on his jeans as he sat down. "I'm not altogether sure why Lily wanted me to see you. I assume it has to do with giving me information about her disease."
The doctor nodded. "Yes, that's definitely part of it. The other part is that I have personal experience with MS."
"She mentioned that." Nate sat back in the chair.
"My wife has MS. Her condition is fairly advanced. After talking with Lily, I thought maybe I could give you a perspective that she couldn't." The man cleared his throat. "For the record, I was opposed to Lily's decision to end the engagement and leave town, but she was determined."
"Have you known Lily long?"
"From the day she was dropped off at the manor by her mother. My dad was originally the family doctor for the Collingworths. I took over when he retired twenty years ago."
That explained why he'd taken the interest he had in Lily. "You diagnosed her?"
Dr. Bennett nodded. "When she came in after the initial symptoms she'd suffered, I suspected, but she resisted testing at that point. Two months later she was back again with the same symptoms, along with a couple new ones. This time I insisted she get testing. She agreed only when I promised not to tell anyone of her condition. Of course, I wouldn't have anyway. Given patient confidentiality, I couldn't even if I had wanted to."
"How did I not know about what was going on with her?" Nate asked, as much to himself as the doctor.
"The symptoms she initially presented with were not major. In fact, had I not had the experience I did with my wife, I might not have come to the diagnosis as quickly." The doctor leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs, his gaze direct. "I'm going to tell you right off the bat, life with MS can be easy and it can be difficult. My wife has gotten to the point where we don't have as many easy days anymore."
Nate frowned. "How old is your wife?"
"She's fifty-two. Up until about five years ago, she had long stretches where her MS didn't impact our life much at all. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, the progression of the disease has accelerated in the past few years. It has been a challenge to adjust. Even with my medical knowledge of the disease, it has still been a challenge."
"What has been the biggest adjustment?" Nate asked.
The man stared at him for a moment then said, "The change to the relationship both emotional and physical. Herfrustration has increased as the disease has worsened. Emotionally she can be all over the map some days. Physically we are not as active anymore. We aren't able to participate in a lot of the things we used to as a couple and with our friends. Our intimate relationship also...changed."
Nate let the man's words sink in. He had never talked with his dad about how things had changed with his mom after she'd been diagnosed with cancer. She, too, had had good days and bad. But Nate had never really thought about how it would have affected their physical relationship. He'd been twenty when she'd first been diagnosed. Back then, he'd just preferred to think that his parents didn't have that type of relationship anymore. Stupid of him, but probably not uncommon for kids to assume when it came to their parents. Thinking about it now, he had to wonder how it would be to lose the ability to have that intimacy with someone you loved.
The doctor must have read the questions on his face because he said, "You adjust. It's not easy, but when you love the person, you adjust. And, really, the changes were more difficult on my wife than they were on me. On top of having to face the decline in her body and not being able to do the things she had enjoyed, she dealt with a lot of guilt that I was having to face those changes, too. Because of her. It made her very angry at times. Weepy at others."
"Has it continued to be that way?" Nate asked.
"Not to that extent. As time has passed, we've worked through the emotional side of things. And we just committed to finding new things we could do together. It's a choice, son. A choice to love. A choice to live."
Nate rubbed a hand over his face. Was he strong enough to be there for Lily the way she would need him to be in the future?
"Eli?"
Nate turned to see a woman in an electric wheelchair come into the room.
Dr. Bennett stood and went to her. "Hello, darling. You decided to join us."
"Yes. Something told me I should." The woman maneuvered the wheelchair closer to where Nate sat. She was a thin woman with shoulder-length graying hair that looked like it had once been a dark brown. Her eyes were a deep blue and looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and friendliness. Once in place, she lowered her hands to her lap. "I'm Beth Bennett."
Nate stood and held out his hand. "Nate Proctor."
After shaking it, she waved toward his chair. "I hear you want information about life with MS."
As Nate sat back down, he glanced at the doctor and then back to his wife. "Yes. Someone very special to me is dealing with it. She suggested I speak to the doctor."
The woman smiled. "Lucky you, you're going to get to speak to me, too."
When Nate left their home an hour later, he knew more about MS than he could ever have thought possible. Beth Bennett had held absolutely nothing back. She'd told him straight out the issues that Lily could face in the years ahead. It left him sick to his stomach to think of what she might have to endure.
And it seemed that one of the scariest parts of the disease was its unpredictability. It was possible that Lily could go for years without a major flare-up or worsening of the symptoms. But then again, it could happen tomorrow.
As he drove to his apartment, Nate thought back to what Beth had said as their conversation had wound down.
