"I was trying to grab on to the branches to help me walk."
"Is this a relapse?" Laurel asked as she approached. She handed Nate a damp paper towel, and he gently wiped the blood from Lily’s hands.
"I don't think so. These are all the same symptoms that pop up when I get overtired, overheated or overstressed. It's the same thing I had when I first got here. They call it a pseudo-exacerbation. It's old symptoms flaring up. I just need rest."
"Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital?" Nate asked again.
She looked up at him, her eyes seeming to dominate her face. "No. If I'm not showing improvement by Monday, I'll call my doctor. I have medication I can take. And I just need rest. I'll be fine. Thank you for your help." Her gaze went to her family gathered around them. "Sorry to have worried you. Please don't say anything to Will and Amy about this."
"We won't, but they're going to know something is wrong," Jessa pointed out.
"We'll deal with that tomorrow," Lily said. "Tonight is for them."
Nate glanced at Jessa. "Something going on with Will and Amy?"
"Will's proposing," Lily said. "We helped him get everything ready. I don't want anything to spoil this special time for them."
Nate looked at the streaks of dirt mingled with blood on Lily's face and felt his heart clench. He had never gone to the trouble of setting up a super romantic proposal for Lily. They'd just sort of eased into their engagement. Lily had even helped pick out her own ring. Had she thought he didn't care because he hadn't taken the extra effort to propose like that? Was that one of the reasons she hadn't trusted his love for her?
Laurel moved past him with a cloth and carefully wipedLily's face. "You sure you're okay, sweetie?"
Nate saw her smile, but it was small and quick and definitely didn’t reach her eyes. "I'm not, but I will be." She looked at Lance. "Can you help me upstairs?"
Though it was like a stab in the heart that she didn't ask him, Nate knew he had no right. He took a step back, away from the intimate group of people gathered around her. These were the ones she turned to. The ones whose love she did trust enough to help her.
He heard a quick notification from his phone. Silently he let himself out the back door. He rounded the house to where his ride waited, suddenly determined to do what he had to to convince Lily she could count on him to be there for her. And step one was to phone her doctor and talk with him. He was pretty sure she wouldn't accept anything from him unless she knew that he had the knowledge of just how difficult it might be in the years to come. All he knew was that seeing her there on the path today had just about killed him. He wanted to be there to help her. This woman still held his heart, whether she wanted to or not, and he wanted to prove himself worthy of holding hers.
He might have kept himself physically away from her for the past couple of weeks, but he'd thought about her every single day.Every. Single. Day. To know that she was so close and yet completely out of his reach tortured him. He'd tried to give her the space she clearly wanted from him, but maybe now it was time to try a different tactic. He would do what he could to prove to her that his love was strong and able to handle whatever life threw at them. Now and in the future.
~*~*~
Lily knew she shouldn't have been disappointed when she realized Nate had left. But she'd needed help to get upstairs before Will and Amy came home, and she wasn't sure it was wise to ask for that from Nate. With things the way they were between the two of them, she didn't want to set herself up for any further heartache.
She'd been shocked to hear him say her name and then to look up and find him there with her on the path. Shocked, but oh so glad. Even though she knew what had caused the flare-up. Even though she knew that it was likely nothing that couldn't be healed with some rest and medication. Each time it happened, she couldn't fight that panic and fear that rose within her as she waited for a new symptom to manifest itself. These flare-ups were most serious if a new symptom arose along with the old. So far, that hadn't happened. The worst was always her ability to walk and then some fuzziness in the brain. Those she could handle, but any new symptom would likely mean a worsening of the MS.
"You okay?" Lance asked as he helped her to the edge of her bed. "Do you need Laurel or Jessa to come help you?"
"I'm here." Lily looked past Lance to see Laurel. She came to sit next to her. "Let me know what you need."
"I'm gonna head back downstairs. Text if you need anything," Lance said before leaving the room.
"I was just going to rest for a couple of hours." Lily brushed at the dirt on her knees. "But if you're willing to help me, I think I'd feel better if I had a shower."
"Sure, I can do that."
Over the next thirty minutes, Lily was reminded once again of why she hadn't wanted to burden Nate or her family with her care. But there was no way she could have showered on her own. She could hire someone, but right now the times she needed help to that degree were sporadic. Paying someone to be on-call just didn't make sense. This flare-up was definitely her fault, and she knew the best way to not need help unexpectedly was to take care to not do the things that caused one in the first place. Maybe she just needed to put someone on-call when it appeared her schedule was going to place demands on her more than it usually did.
Unfortunately, life didn’t always unfold in the ways planned. Since her return to Collingsworth, she’d learned that in a big way.
"Thanks," Lily said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Sorry if I've delayed supper."
"Don't worry about that. Just rest." Laurel helped her to lie down and covered her with a blanket. "You have your phone?"
Lily held it up. "I'll text if I need something, but I think I'm going to sleep til morning."
"Okay. Sleep well." Laurel headed for the door then turned. "By the way, Nate was here to drop off your car."
"Really? It's here?"
