Lily stared at Jessa, wondering where she was going with this. "Yes, I'm sure that's true."
Jessa shifted her weight. "Lance said they are going to be tearing down Nate's house today."
And there it was. "I didn't know that."
"Though he's not rebuilding until spring, they need to get rid of the old structure for safety reasons."
Lily's thoughts went back to the time she'd spent there with Nate. It had been his family home. He’d never lived anywhere else. No doubt the majority of the memories of his mom and dad were of them together in their home. A good chunk of her memories with him were also tied to the house.
Feeling tears prick at her eyes, Lily dropped her gaze to the laptop. It was no longer her place to offer comfort to Nate, but the reality was—whether she liked it or not—that man still held a huge part of her heart. Right then, all she wanted to do was go and be by his side while he faced this difficult moment in his life. But she had given up that right three years ago.
"Thanks for letting me know," Lily said as she looked up at her sister. "I'll be praying for him."
Jessa hesitated before nodding. "I thought you should know. Anyway, I'm heading to the hospital. See you later."
Alone in the library, Lily fought the urge to go to Nate's house—no doubt that's where he was—to offer her support.She couldn't take the chance of him misreading her actions, though. A battle raged within her. Torn between keeping her distance and offering him support. She was also dealing with her own emotional reaction to the destruction of his home. It was a place of significance to their relationship, but now it was gone. Just like things between them.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Nate stood, hands on hips, watching as a large yellow machine broke down the blackened structure that had once been his home. He fought to keep anger at the forefront of his emotions. Anger at the punks who had done this to his home. He needed it to be anger, because if that slipped away there would be sorrow and heartbreak. Those were emotions he didn't want to deal with. At least not in public.
But as he watched, the memories wouldn't leave him alone. Before his mom had gotten sick, the home had been filled with laughter and joy. Even after her diagnosis, she'd tried to keep up the traditions they'd created for their small family. He remembered bringing Lily home to meet his mom. Then over the course of the next seven years they'd spent so much time at the house. Eating dinner with his folks. Sitting around the fire in the backyard roasting marshmallows. Watching movies. They'd sat on that old couch, his arm around Lily, her head resting on his chest. He'd kissed her for the first time as they'd been watching a movie in that basement. And there had been many more kisses over the years.
The burnt-out structure of his home resembled the burnt-out remnants of his relationship with Lily. Maybe it was time to tear that all down, too. Tear it down, clear it out, make room for something new. Maybe if he'd done that sooner, his relationship with Crystal wouldn't have crashed and burned.
"Nate?"
Over the noise of the machines, Nate wasn't sure he'd actually heard her voice say his name. Turning, he couldn't believe it when he saw Lily. Why was she there? He looked past her to see Amy standing with Will next to his truck. Why had they brought her? Surely Will would have known how difficult this would be for him.
Without saying anything, Nate turned back to the growing pile of rubble. He hoped that she'd leave. If she hadn't dashed his hopes so solidly a week ago, he might have taken her appearance as a good sign. He didn't know why she was there, but it certainly wasn't for the reasons he hoped. Of that, he was certain.
Though she didn't say anything more, Nate glanced down to see her still standing at his side, her gaze on the machines diligently working to tear his home down. Suddenly the machine shut down, and silence echoed in its wake.
"Nate, I'm sorry," Lily said, this time her words more audible without the background noise.
He crossed his arms over his chest and stared straight ahead. "You shouldn't be here."
"I just thought--"
"I don't want you here." Barely holding onto his emotions, Nate couldn't look at her. "You can't have it both ways, Lily. Either you're there for me all the way or not at all. I'm not at the place where I can handle you being a friend and nothing more."
"Nate..."
"If you're here as a friend, please just leave. I'd rather deal with this on my own."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her take a couple ofsteps back then turn around. Clenching his jaw tight, Nate worked to keep his gaze focused forward. He had had to watch her walk away from him one too many times already. Today was not the day he wanted to see that again. He didn't mean to hurt her, but right then he was hurting too much to have to deal with her, too.
He lifted a hand to shield his eyes when he saw someone walking toward him from the site. As the man drew close, Nate recognized Matt.
"Everything going okay?" he asked as Matt came to stand next to him.
"Yep. Structure is down. Now we're just going to start hauling it all away." Matt clapped him on the shoulder. "So sorry about this, man."
Nate nodded. "Must be done."
"Yes, but I'm sure it hasn't been easy to see." Matt's gaze went past him, a frown briefly crossing his face. "Hey, Crystal."
Crystal?Nate swung around to see her a few feet away. Could this day get any worse?
