"Me, too. Mainly because I feel like I'm killing my dad's dream. But that's just what it was. My dad's dream, not mine. It was a lot of stress for me to juggle the two places on my own. I will be happy to just be able to concentrate on the one here."
"I'm sorry if my coming back has complicated things for you.” Lily's head dipped. “On top of everything else you've been dealing with."
"Make no mistake, Lily. You coming back would have complicated things for me regardless of what else was going on in my life."
Her gaze jerked up to meet his and for just a brief second, Nate saw a flash of emotion in her eyes.Good.She needed to know that while she may have been able to move on, there were still things unresolved for him.
"Maybe I should have just stayed away," she said with a lift of her chin. Nate didn't miss the defensive tone in her voice.
"Maybe you shouldn't have left in the first place," he replied. "It wasn't fair to your family. And it wasn't fair to me."
Anger flashed across her face. Nate's heart clenched at the sight. Though it was cliché, Lily was most beautiful when she allowed her emotions full rein. Happiness, sadness and even anger brought her already vibrant appearance to life.
"The MS diagnosis wasn't fair to me," she said, her voice low. "All I wanted to do was find a way to live with this disease. And I did. You got to go on with your life as normal. You had your job. You got a girlfriend."
Nate saw the flush rise in Lily's face. So itdidbother herthat he'd gone on to date someone else. "Was I supposed to be waiting around for something? I had no idea why you left. For all I knew, you ran off with some British dude. To be honest, I almost wish you had."
Lily's eyes widened. "Seriously?"
"Do you think it's been easy to hear that you left because you'd discovered you had MS? I wish you weren't sick even if it meant you had left to be with someone else."
"Well, wishing isn't going to change anything." She crossed her arms in front of her. "I didn't come back here to complicate your life. I honestly thought you'd moved on. From what Violet said when I got here, it sounded like you had."
"So you felt it was safe being back here because I was dating Crystal?"
"I just thought it would be...easier."
"And then you found out I was staying here at the manor." Rather than answer, Lily just shrugged, her gaze going past him. "Well then, Lily-belle, my moving out should make you happy."
At the use of her nickname, her gaze came back to his for a split second. And for the second time during their conversation he saw a flash of emotion. And it gave him a little more hope. Surely if everything she felt for him was dead, they wouldn't even be having this conversation, let alone it making her mad.
"It doesn't make me happy," Lily said. "Nothing about any of this has ever made me happy."
Nate took a step toward her. "You had to know that if you had told me about the diagnosis, I would have been there for you. Would have done everything I could. I wouldn't have abandoned you."
Lily gave him a sad smile. "Yeah, I know. But I couldn't tell you."
"Couldn't?" Nate asked. "Or wouldn't?"
Her green eyes seemed to liquefy as he stared at her, but no tears flowed. She blinked once then said, "I couldn't."
The faint flickering of hope he'd had earlier sputtered, nearly going out completely. But he couldn't give up on her. On them.
He wouldn't.
~*~*~
Turning and walking away from Nate this time was almost as hard as it had been the day she'd ended their engagement. But Lily knew she had to do it...and keep doing it. Even though him saying that he would have done everything for her tugged so strongly at her heart, it was also the very thing that kept her from him. This disease had already altered and consumed her life, she didn't want it to do the same for him. After all he'd dealt with, he deserved not to have to bear the burden of what was to come for her.
She didn't have to look around to know that her siblings were watching her walk away from Nate. They'd no doubt been watching—and maybe even listening to—her talk to him. It hadn't been the best place to have the conversation. In fact, she hadn't really thought it through to the end. If she had, she never would have approached him in such a public place.
Not sure where exactly she was going, Lily climbed the porch steps and opened the back door. Inside the kitchen, she paused. After spending all day in her room, she wasn't exactly keen to go back, but she didn't really want to have any type of conversation with her sisters just then either. Not that her going to her room would keep them from seeking her out.
Oh, how she wished she could still handle a long hot bath, but since the heat was no longer her friend, that particular escape was out as well. She had no car to go anywhere. And walking any distance was a risk after just finally feeling steadier on her feet after the past couple of days.
Feeling trapped, Lily let out a long sigh and headed for the stairs. Once in her room, she pulled out her phone and called Megan. It had been a few days since they'd last talked, but she knew her friend would understand.
"Can you come pick me up, Meg?" Lily asked when her friend answered. "I desperately need to get away for a bit."
