"Then let's go tell them what's transpired, okay?"
The nurse continued to reassure her as they slowly walked to the waiting room. Everyone surged to greet them once they spotted Lily.
"Is the baby here?"
Lily sank down into a chair and smiled her thanks at the nurse. "No. The baby's heart rate dropped. They had to take Jessa to the OR."
"She's going to have a C-section?" Laurel asked.
"It's a possibility," the nurse said. "It's a precaution if your sister can't deliver the baby quickly. They are both in excellent hands." She looked again at Lily. "I know it was a bit overwhelming to be in there when all of that was going on. But rest assured, it was just everyone doing their job to make sure of the best possible outcome for your sister and the baby. Someone will be out as soon as there is news."
"Thank you," Lily said. "For explaining and for helping me."
"You're welcome." The nurse gave them one last smile before leaving the waiting room.
Once she was gone, Laurel and Cami sat on chairs on either side of Lily. "How was Jessa?"
"Calm, but worried. Lance was, too."
"Why don't we take the time to pray for them right now?" Josh suggested.
As one by one they joined hands to close their family circle, Lily felt tears spring to her eyes. She bent her head as Josh began to pray. Tears dripped onto her legs, but she didn't release the grip she had on Cami or Laurel's hands.
"Father, we are so grateful for Your presence here today as Jessa and Lance face this emergency with their baby. We know You are there in that room with them and those who are caring for Jessa and the baby. We ask You to give wisdom to those making decisions and guide the hands of those administering care. We love Jessa and Lance and their little one. Please give them peace, and we ask that you allow theirbaby to be brought safely into this world. But in everything, we thank You for Your blessings and know that none of this has taken You by surprise. In Jesus' name."
"Amen." Each person there joined Josh in ending his prayer.
Lily took a shuddering breath before releasing her grip on her sisters. She rubbed her hands across her cheeks, and then, before anyone could ask, she said, "I'm not okay, but I will be fine."
"Are you sure?" Cami asked.
Even as Lily nodded, she hoped she was. Unfortunately, with each episode like this, there was always a chance she wouldn't come back fully from it. All she could do was take her medicine, get into see the doctor and rest up.
As she looked around the room, Lily realized that Nate was missing. She didn't want to acknowledge the disappointment that flooded her, but it was impossible not to. Trying to put a positive spin on his absence, Lily told herself she should be glad he hadn't been there to see the mess she'd been in when the nurse had brought her to the waiting room.
She leaned back in the chair, trying to ignore the tingling in her legs. Everything over the past couple of days had really opened her eyes to what it was like to live with MS while having people so intimately involved in her life. She truly had been in seclusion in London, doing only what she wanted to, when she felt able to do it. Suddenly her life was intertwined with everyone else's, and things happening to them could put demands on her body whether she was up to dealing with it or not. It was going to take some time to adapt to this.
Though she had come to accept her diagnosis, there were still moments when she was frustrated with it. She had learned to adapt her schedule if one day she didn't feel up to what she had planned. However, for the first time since those early days, Lily found herself more frustrated and agitated by the MS. And angry about it. She hated her body right then.Hated the disease that was wreaking havoc on her relationships with her family as it already had on her relationship with Nate.
I want to leave.
Even as the thought came, Lily pushed it aside. Running away again was not the answer. It might have worked three years ago, but it wouldn't now. No, she needed to pull herself together and figure out how to adjust to this new normal, just as she had back when she'd finally come to terms with her diagnosis.
I can do this.That was what she had to keep telling herself.I can do this.
You are not alone.
The words rang so clearly that Lily actually glanced around to see who had spoken to her, but no one looked as if they'd just said anything. Then the words she'd written on her note card came to mind once again.And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.
She took a breath and let it out. Slowly her body was calming. The tingling was still there, but the trembling had eased. Lily wasn't sure she could run anywhere, but she could probably walk if she had to. With a little help. Movement in the hallway caught her attention and she looked over to see Lance coming towards them. As the others stood, she grasped Will's outstretched hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet. He settled her hand into the crook of his arm and then pulled Amy close with his other arm.
"How is Jessa? How is the baby?" The questions were fired at Lance as he came to a stop in front of them.
"Jessa is fine. They didn't end up having to do the C-section as she was able to push him out quickly. So far, he is doing okay. He's small though. Just about four and a half pounds. They've taken him to the NICU. After they’re finished with Jessa, she’ll go to her room."
"What's his name?" Cami asked.
"To be honest, we haven't completely settled on a name yet. I think we were both afraid to decide on a name in case it kind of gave him permission to come. Now we'll have to make up our minds quickly."
