Lily tightened her hands. What she would give to never hear that question again. She had hardly heard it at all while away in Europe because no one knew. Something told her that every time she faltered, she was going to hear it now. "I'm fine. Right now, we need to be focusing on Jessa. Not me."
Laurel must have heard the hard edge to her voicebecause she settled on the seat next to her, gave Lily a quick one arm hug and said, "You're right."
When Lily looked up, her gaze met Nate's. His concern was still very clear.
Don't pity me. Do not feel sorry for me.That's what she wished she could say to him. The very last thing she wanted from him was pity.
Thankfully, the arrival of Cami, Josh and Amy took the attention away from her.
"How's Jessa?" Cami asked.
As they filled her in, Amy went to stand next to Will, pressing against his side when he slid his arm around her. I remember doing that with Nate.Lily closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let it out. She needed to get herself under control. Thanks to the MS, her emotions were more near the surface than they used to be and at a time like this, it was hard to keep them in check.
She bent her head, keeping her eyes closed and focused on her breathing. If Jessa really did want her in that delivery room with them, she needed to calm herself.
In. Out.
In her mind, she pictured her favorite spot of the past three years. The chalet in Switzerland that she'd rented for a couple of weeks one winter and then for three weeks the next. The big rustic bed had been wonderfully comfortable and waking up to see the beauty of God's creation just outside the big glass windows had been incredible. She'd spent most her evenings curled up in front of the fire, a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, listening to her favorite music. Sometimes she'd read. Sometimes she'd prayed. Sometimes she'd let herself take a journey of what-if. And sometimes she'd cried. But mostly she'd been at peace there.
It was that peace she wanted right then.
Another deep breath in and out.
Conversation swirled around her, but she tried to block it out for just a few minutes. Long enough to calm herself andfocus on what was really important.
Jessa. The baby.
Please, God, let everything be okay.
"Everybody doing alright at the house?" Laurel asked.
Slowly Lily lifted her head but was careful not to look in Nate's direction. Instead, she watched as Cami sat down next to Laurel.
Cami nodded. "Rose was just leaving for work when we got there, but the two babysitters had arrived. Hope they can handle everyone."
Laurel smiled. "They'll be fine. They do a great job with the kids."
"Hey, Lance." Will's greeting turned Lily's attention to the entrance to the waiting room.
Lance came right to where she sat. "Jessa wants you."
Laurel turned to her. "Are you—“
Lily raised a hand to cut her off. "I'll be fine."
When Lance held out his hand, she took it and then slid her other hand into the crook of his arm. Though she was sure he was in a hurry to get back, she appreciated that he shortened his stride.
"Is she doing okay?"
"So far. She's had an epidural. They're monitoring her blood pressure, but she's already dilated to six centimeters."
Lily glanced at Lance. "Isn't that rather fast?"
"Seems to be. From what I remember from Jessa’s labor with Julia, it took her hours to get to this point."
When they reached the room, Lance found a stool for her to sit on next to Jessa's bed.
"Hey," Lily said as Jessa opened her eyes.
