"Not sure yet," Nate said. "I'd like to, simply because I have some good guys there. But I also don't expect them to wait around for me to rebuild since it may take a while."
The sky continued to darken as they left the lights of the town behind. Their times driving together had always been Lily's favorite. It was one of the few times she’d had his undivided attention. From the time they'd started dating when she’d turned eighteen, she'd always had to share him with his mom and dad and his job. Often she'd felt like she was the last thing on his priority list and if not for her effort, they might have spent even less time together. Knowing how important his job and his dad had been to him, Lily knew she couldn't burden him with her diagnosis as well.
The remainder of the trip passed in silence. Lily didn't know what else to talk about, and he wasn't pursuing conversation either. Thankfully the drive to the manor didn't take too long. Once he'd pulled to a stop in front of the garage, Lily turned to him.
"Thank you for the ride." She had opened the door before he had a chance to come around to open it for her. She slid to the ground, pausing to grip the handle while she made sure she was steady on her feet. By the time Nate came around the truck, she'd shut the door and was moving toward the manor. He caught up with her and when she gripped the railing of the steps leading to the front door, he turned to look at her.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Just tired." Lily knew it was her stock answer to anyone querying her slowness, but it was never one hundred percent the truth.
He waited for her at the top of the steps and then opened the door to the foyer. Suddenly eager to be away from him and the reminder of all his gentlemanly gestures, Lily said, "Thanks again for the ride. I think I'm just going to go on up."
"Me, too. I would imagine the week ahead is going to be pretty busy." He paused for a second and then said, “I told Lance that I would be willing to move to the motel since you’re home now. He said I should stay, but I want that to be up to you.”
It would make things much easier if he were living someplace else. But she knew that it would be wrong to send him off just to make things easier on herself. He needed the security of the manor as much as she did. “It’s fine by me if you stay here. So much better than the motel.”
He slowly nodded. “By a long shot.”
Lily had hoped he'd go to the kitchen to get a drink or something first so she could get up the stairs on her own. Instead, she was forced to push herself to climb the stairs as normally as possible. Once at the top, she said good night to him and headed into her room, closing the door firmly behind her.
She leaned against it and took a deep breath. Hurdle number one over. It hadn't been as bad as she had anticipated, but her traitorous heart wanted things it couldn't have. Hurdle number two was telling her family about her diagnosis and what it meant for her. That one would be hard, but she hoped that in sharing all the information she'd gathered over the past three years, they would be able to accept it the way she had.
~*~*~
Nate stared at Lily's closed door. Seeing her again hadbeen harder than he had imagined it would be. He'd been so angry at her for ending their engagement and leaving so abruptly that he hadn't thought there was still love in his heart for her. He’d known there was still healing that needed to occur, but love? Seeing her at the concert tonight and then afterward sitting on the bench outside the church, he realized that his heart still felt so much for her. Too much. Crystal had sensed it, and now he knew that she was right.
But the Lily he'd just shared a ride home with was different. She'd calmed in the three years they'd been apart. She'd always liked to talk, which had worked well for them since he hadn't. And then she hadn't waited for him to come and help her from the truck. It was a poignant reminder that she no longer had that expectation of him. She was capable of taking care of herself and seemed to want him to know it.
He turned away from the sight of her closed door and headed for his room. Once inside he flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. What concerned him most were the differences in her physically. He knew her body—better than he likely should have—enough to know that something was different. Her slow, cautious movements were so unlike the Lily he'd been engaged to. He'd often called herLily-Belle, his version of Tinker Bell, because of how she'd seemed to flutter around him.
There was no fluttering anymore. Just cautious, steady movements. He tried to tell himself it was just a maturing on her part, but he wondered if there was something more serious going on. She'd never given him a definite reason for ending their engagement. She had just said she didn't think it would work out for them, that they were too different. While Nate agreed that they were different, it hadn't been a problem in their relationship up to that point. How was it after almost seven years together, it suddenly became an issue?
He hoped that perhaps her presence here would give him a chance to gain the closure he needed in order to move on. Crystal's words were proof that he hadn't gotten to that point yet, but perhaps having her back in his life would give him achance to see that things were really and truly over between them.
His heart clenched at the thought and with a groan, he rolled to his stomach. This was just the very last thing he needed right then. God had a lousy sense of timing if He thought that Nate could deal with Lily's return on top of everything else that had been dropped on him over the past few days. But he would do what he always did.
Chin up. Shoulders back. Tackle the issues head on.
~*~*~
At Lily's request, her sisters and Will gathered at the manor the following afternoon. Because Jessa was still confined to bed, they were all up in the room with her.
"I know you all have wondered about my sudden departure after I ended my engagement with Nate." Lily shifted on the chair she'd chosen. Her stomach was in knots. She wanted to present this in such a way as to minimize their alarm or concern.
"We figured you didn't want to be around Nate after you ended things," Violet said. "But we didn't expect you to stay away for so long."
"I didn't either. I just needed some time to adjust."
"And you've adjusted now?" Laurel asked. After Lily had nodded, she continued, "But what have you adjusted to?"
Lily took a deep breath. "About nine months before I left, I had an issue with my left eye. I didn't mention it at the time, but I was really scared."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jessa asked, an edge of hurt to her words.
"I didn't want to worry anyone. I thought it was nothing. It did seem to get better as time went on, and I convinced myself not to worry about it. Then about three months after the first problem, I had it again in the same eye along with other things. Some numbness and weakness in my legs. Thistime I went to the doctor. He immediately set me up for an eye exam which was then followed by an MRI. He knew what he was looking at but did the tests anyway."
"What was he looking at?" Will was leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.
