That made me laugh. However, regret stuck, because the next contraction rode in on it—mean, like the ushers in a Baptist church. My stomach clenched so hard I gasped. Amber grabbed my hand.
The sting behind my eyes wasn’t all due to the contractions. What if he doesn’t make it? What if this was how it started—me raising this baby alone? Would he miss every milestone—every birthday? Would my baby feel the confusion and emptiness I feel now? I don’t understand—his promises were so loud. Please God, don’t let his actions be silent. Calm down, Mahasin, I thought to myself.
Two of my favorite delivery nurses came into the room—Krista and Tiana. Krista checked my vitals and recorded the information on the monitors, while Tiana checked the intensity of my contractions. Throughout my years of working at thishospital, many delivery nurses have expressed interest in being my mentees but have been too fearful to ask.
Krista and Tiana emailed my assistant to schedule a meeting with me. Their initiative, persistence, and the fact that they both are African American women who graduated at the top of their class impressed me. It wasn’t the best time for me to become a mentor—seeing as I had just opened Serenity—but I couldn’t say no.
I’ve been on their asses ever since, making sure they understood the importance of staying on top of their craft, showing up professional and ready, never dimming their light, and most importantly, continuing to uphold medical integrity.
“Dr. Mathers just walked in and should be in here shortly,” Tiana assured me.
“Alright, but you two don’t go too far. If an emergency warrants your attention, let Mesha and Victoria know they are your backups,” I instructed, winking at my girls. I was so proud of them.
Thoughts of me having the same pride in my baby girl—who, by the pain and frequency of these contractions, would be here soon—washed over me.
“Et-um, Mahasin,” Amber whispered. “Who is Dr. Mathers?”
“I should fire your ass right now,” I laughed. “If you knew staff like you knew them rap songs, you’d be running this whole hospital by now. Dr. Mathers is Elle, hoe.”
“Oh damn. I ain’t know her mean ass had a last name. She always just gives folks them hard-ass handshakes and goes ‘Elle,’ when they ask her name.”
We laughed in unison.
Shortly after that, Elle sauntered through, looking as youthful as ever, with Krista and Tiana right on her heels. She picked up my chart, called me “Dr. St. James,” and ran down all the formalities. Protocol.
“Off the record?” she asked, looking around the room.
Everyone said yes as she leaned in like we were in some imaginary huddle.
“Bitch, why are you sitting up here trying to look pretty through this pain? You're going to have more forehead wrinkles than a baby bulldog. How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Like I shouldn’t have busted it open for a real nigga,” I responded, sending the room into fits of laughter.
“Let’s check dilation,” she said as she washed her hands and gloved up. Getting into position, I took deep breaths as she examined my cervix.
“Well, labor is active. You are 7 cm dilated, so what do you say, superwoman? You want the epidural? At your progressive rate, you’d have to decide now,” she explained.
“We still off the record?” I asked.
“Yup,” they all agreed, with their messy asses.
“Asking me that is like asking, do I want candied yams with my baked mac and cheese. Bitch, yes—I want an epidural.”
Everyone cracked up.
I’m so glad this was my birth environment. It helped take my mind off the labor pains and the hurt I felt from not receiving a call back from Gage.
“I’m way ahead of you. Already got the consent forms being drawn up,” Elle smiled.
“Which anesthesiologists are present tonight?” I asked.
“Sanders, Lee, or Flores,” Krista said.
“Flores,” I responded, sending the request as if I were ordering an appetizer.
Krista nodded as both she and Tiana followed Elle out of the room. Pain built again, twisting my body as if I were a rag being wrung dry. I closed my eyes and gripped the bed rail, hurting my hand in the process from squeezing so tightly. Each time I breathed through a contraction, another waited close behind.
“Flores better bring his ass on,” I said sharply.
