She leads me to the dance floor, and I wouldn’t care if she was leading me to my death. I would gladly follow her anywhere, no questions asked.
We dance and she moves more freely than when I first arrived, closer to me, touching me. She doesn’t shy away from my hands on her, drawing her to me, pressing her against my body. A slow tempo song starts playing, and she encircles her arms around my neck as mine are around her waist. Our faces back to impossibly close proximity and she leans in to kiss me. This time I have nothing holding me back in any capacity, and my arms tighten their grip as her fingers thread through my hair.
Breathless, she pulls away. “Did you want to get out of here?” she whispers as she pulls my hair, and I have not been more ready in my life.
21
Mabel
My head is swimming, and it’s got nothing to do with alcohol. I danced the effects of the bucket off and Riley has levelled and sobered me with that kiss. I am so needy for him and I can’t mask it tonight.
Hanging out with Fleur and Sophia this afternoon was so nice. We always have such a fun time together, and our limited time during the season is spent hanging together with the guys. We made an oath to make time to have more girls’ nights together. Being a girls’ day, the topic crept over to my love life. They didn’t pry, but they did ask a few questions that were difficult to answer. I know they weren’t asking maliciously. It followed on from ‘getting to know you’ conversations, but got me stumped a few times. So they found out about Riley. More accurately, they easily guessed we were fooling around. To say they were thrilled for the situation is an understatement. There was a lot of hugging and screaming and gushing over how cute we look together, and they were both very happy about it all. I clarified that we are friends with benefits, but they didn’t look convinced.
“I saw how cute you two were being when you had ice cream the first day we got here. That’s not how you are with fuck buddies,” Fleur retorted.
“We’re good friends now too, though,” I weakly try to convince myself.
“Can I offer you some advice others were barking at me last year?” Sophia offers, and I nod in agreement. “Do what makes you happy. Don’t miss out on happiness because you have been burnt in the past or think it won’t be appropriate or fit in to what you think it should be. You deserve happiness. You both do. Just think about it.”
“Plus, we are going to be doing more of these girl hangs, so you have us to talk these things out when needed,” Fleur adds with a caring smile.
I couldn’t deny that the chat filled me with some bravery, and when I saw Riley approach me at the nightclub, I was caught up in the luxury of not needing to keep it a secret from the girls. When we went to the dance floor on our own; they filled me with some renewed confidence and sent me back to him when Javi and Cole joined them on the dance floor. However, I chickened out. I couldn’t find the words to explain how he has been making me feel so valued and cared for these last four months. That if anyone could withstand my asshole parents, he would be the one to do it. Or to give me the support and strength to finally stand up to them myself. He looked at me, with those ridiculous, white, fluffy ears on, allowing me to put them on him and didn’t rip them off when his friends approached us,and just laughed with us about it. So I chickened out and kissed him on the dance floor, and asked him if he was ready to leave.
My Vans hit the damp footpath as we walked back to the hotel, hand in hand. My fear outweighs my desire to say anything of praise or to share my secret, longing for him to know my feelings. It’s easier to hide, right? Safest to have a question unasked and continue hiding feelings than risk losing it all.
The chill in the air hits my body, and I recoil inwards. Riley outstretches his arm and pulls me into his side to keep me warm, and I enjoy the smell of his crisp vanilla scent. Being in separate rooms, he went back to his own body wash. No longer smelling like berries.
My nerves increase with each step closer to our hotel rooms, and I cannot say anything.
Riley leads me to my door, but stays outside once I open the door.
“You don’t want to come in?” I ask, turning to face him.
Riley leans his chest on the outside of the door frame, looking in at me. “I can, but are you okay? You were quiet on the way back.”
“I’m fine,” I reply, taking his button-up in my fist and dragging him into the room.
There’s one thing I know what to do, and it’s physical. If I can’t tell him how much he means to me, I can show him.
The room is lightly illuminated by the bedside table I forgot to turn off, guiding our way to my bed. My hand still gripping his shirt as I walk backwards, our eyes never breaking contact.The back of my legs hit the bed, halting me. Releasing his shirt, my palm splays on his firm chest and moves over to the buttons of his black, button-up shirt. Purposely undoing each button slowly, I take my time. Leisurely plucking open the shirt to expose more of his skin. Admiring his athletic torso. Placing my open palms on his abs, I move them back up his front. The tight lines of his defined muscles make me want to savour every touch my fingertips reach. My hands graze his shoulders and continue to push down his shirt, displaying more of his taut body.
Moving back down his body, I meet the top of his jeans, regaining eye contact to aggressively unbutton and unzip before pushing them down his legs. He takes over to shuck off his shoes and step out of his jeans and underwear pooled at his ankles, all while maintaining eye contact. I lean forward and kiss his chest. The floras in his chest piece. The soft black lines flirting across his pecs. The cockatoo boldly over his heart.
Looking up, he has not stopped taking me in. Watching me. Taking his hands, I run them down my body, passing along my sides, until they reach the hem of my dress, and I release them. He takes grip and slowly drags my dress up until I raise my arms and the dress is overhead. I quickly push off my shoes.
I take his face in my hands. This is the moment. The moment I need to say how I feel. That this is more than fuck buddies. He is my strength to do the things I have always dreamt of. Was too scared to do without him by my side. I want him more than friends because this isn’t casual anymore. He means so much to me that I can’t stop thinking about him. The time we spendtogether doing anything is time I cherish and look forward to. I love him.
Instead, I crash my mouth on to his, which he returns with feverish intent. My arms are around his neck, bringing him as close to me as possible. His hands circle my waist and grip my back, matching my need to be as close together as possible. I wish I could live in this moment forever. I break away to move him around to have his back to the bed, and I guide him to sit on it before I straddle him, gazing down at him. His eager face waits patiently for my lead.
I run my hands through his hair, kissing his forehead, and then push off him to stand and rummage around in one of my luggage bags.
“What do you have in your bag of tricks, mystic?”
I smile and present the vibrating cock ring, lube, and a remote. “If you are game?”
“Absolutely.” As he reaches for my body, I let him drag me back to him by my elbow to stand in front of him, the sides of his thighs pressing into my legs. He reaches around and unhooks my bra, guiding it down my arms and over the toys in my hands. It’s his turn to run his palms down my torso as his fingers hook into my panties to wiggle them down a few centimetres before they fall down at my ankles.
He leans forward and gently kisses my stomach, trailing his fingers up and down my spine. Stopping, he looks up at me. His blue eyes seeing me, unguarded, stripped bare for only him.
