No, this isn’t how I should be feeling about him. I need to keep him at a distance. He knows how awful my family is. He has such a wonderful family. Mine would destroy him. And then he would hate me. I’ve lost anyone I cared about because of my parents. Either my parents have been jerks to them and they can’t believe I won’t turn out the same, or I have kept them away from them and they thought I was hiding them out of embarrassment. The embarrassment is right, but not from past friends or boyfriends. Embarrassment from my parents acting so juvenile.
I have been honest with Riley. He knows what they've been like, but I can’t lose him because of them. Even if that means never exploring these feelings for him. I can’t do the relationship thing with him.
My phone ringing startles me out of my trance on Riley. Blinking at my screen, I see it’s my mother calling.
I sigh and pick it up.
“Hello, Mum. How are you?”
“Why haven’t you called us? I thought you were coming home after the first few weeks?”Not even a hello.I get up to put my empty bowl into the dishwasher.
“No, remember I said I was travelling with the team? All season I’ll be with them. The reason you and Dad insisted I stayed home right up until the first day of the season?”
“You did not tell me. I would have remembered something like that. Don’t try to gaslight me.”
Inhaling, I try to calm my breath. Closing my eyes. It’s not worth it.
“I’m not trying to gaslight you. You probably didn’t listen to me when I was correcting you over the summer.”
“This is ridiculous. Then when are you coming home?”
I grit my teeth. She doesn’t care about my answer at all.
“End of the season, Mum. Sorry, I need to go. I have work to finish. Bye!”
And I promptly hang up the phone before she can dispute it.
“Everything okay?” Riley gets up and walks over to me, concern crossing his face.
“Just my loving mother accusing me of gaslighting her by not telling her I was here for the entire season.”
“Rough. Come here. You need a Riley-hug,” he sweetly offers, and I accept this offer because yes, I need a Riley-anything in this moment.
His arms wrap tightly around me, and I encircle my arms around his waist. We aren’t too far off in height, but putting my arms around his neck feels like it would be too intimate. This feels more friend-zoned hugging. But it does the trick. He soothes me and I am relaxed.
“More ice-cream? Want me to run and grab something stronger for you? Chocolate? Snack therapy?”
Laughing. “I’m okay, thank you. Hug helped.”
“Here if you need anymore,” he says as he keeps me in his embrace.
In desperate need for coffee, I push my way against the wind to the sustenance.It’s so cold here. I might need a thicker jacket,I think to myself as I wrap my subpar jacket around me some more.
Opening the door to the hospitality tent, I'm relieved it is warmer and not windy inside. Waiting for my coffee to be made, I scan the tent. Sophia is with a gorgeous brunette sitting next to Dave Hayes. Sophia waves me over once my coffee is handed to me.
“Mabel! This is Nikki, Dave’s wife.”
“Lovely to meet you,” Nikki exclaims and shakes my hand. “Would you like to join us?”
“Sure.” I sit down.
Dave is Javi’s Team Manager; quiet, methodical. I don’t hear much from him, but he saves his words for the team mechanics.
“How are you enjoying the start to the season?” Nikki asks.
“Really great. I love it already. Everyone is so friendly and supportive.”
“Dave has mentioned you've done a great job with the socials already—and can handle the sponsors and media on track like a pro.” Nikki throws a thumb Dave’s way, and he smiles.
