“Hmmm, let’s go chilli chicken and rice,” Riley agrees, and I replace the wraps on the shelf.
Heading to the checkout, we both empty our items out onto the conveyor belt. Riley reaches for a particular chocolate at the impulse purchase area, but then returns it. I 've noticed he doesthis every time we use a checkout with this chocolate there, but he never buys it.
“You do that every time.”
“Sorry? Do what?” he asks.
“Pick up that same type of chocolate bar, but put it back. Do you like it or not like it? Worried about your waistline?”
“Nah, I used to buy them for Kiara. Force of habit until I remind myself not to buy them when it gets into my hand.”
Don’t I feel like a right asshole. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. How would you know?” He smiles, but there's pain behind his eyes.
We check out and head back to the hotel in silence; me mortified and Riley looking deep in thought.
“Sorry again about asking about the chocolate.”
“It’s fine. It’s just…weird. Thinking about her is never a bad thing. Just the realisation that she isn’t back at the hotel room is the weird part.”
I thread my arm through his so our elbows are linked and rest my head on his shoulder, because what could I possibly say to make this any easier?
“Tell me about her. What did you both used to do in the off-season?”
“She loved heading to the motocross track with the crew. She and Cole used to play pranks on us all.”
“Pranks?! Like what?”
“Dumb stuff, like swap out helmet and gloves to the smaller sizes for the guys, and kids sizes for Fleur.”
“Sounds like Cole had a close relationship with her?”
“Yeah, she was the little sister to everyone. Fleur especially. She used to love when Kiara would tag along with us. But even Fleur couldn’t get past Kiara’s walls when she was having a shit day and wanted to hole up in the hotel room or head back home to our folks' joint.”
“Fleur would have taken that personally,” I acknowledge.
“Oh, she absolutely did.” He pauses. “They all loved her.”
“Sounds like she was as loved as possible.” I snake my hand up around his arm and squeeze his bicep.
“Thanks.” He smiles down at me, squeezing his arm close to his side in reciprocation of my gesture.
9
Riley
First full month back into the season, and it feels amazing. After such a great pre-season, I don’t think I have been this relaxed before a season in a long while. Mayberelaxedis the wrong word? It feels a disservice to the memories I have of pre-seasons with Kiara. This season’s start felt different for all kinds of reasons. I am not denying the fact that I'm still grieving and feeling the loss, but I feel supported, welcomed. Not a burden with my situation.
Racing-wise, unfortunately, the first race weekend I had some technical issues that was out of the team’s control, but it was easily fixed. Nothing we could do to improve our position.
It’s the last race at this track. Friday kicked off with great time attack numbers; I was in the mix in the top four, along with Javi, Fleur, and Cole. Saturday was so smooth, I topped the time sheets and scored pole position for Saturday and Sunday’s races. I was beaming!
Mabel and I have had a few weird moments over the last few weeks. I've been ignoring them, but I can’t stop my mind wandering. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want her on another level. She’s gorgeous and funny. We can talk about anything,and it will be riveting. Guess I'm just down to stare at her, no matter what she says.
I feel a strong draw to Mabel, different from getting to know her over the last two months. I genuinely complimented her, and it’s true that I give friends compliments to support them, but the level ofthatcompliment I said to her is reserved for someone I’m dating. Hopefully, I recovered well, and she doesn’t think of me as a creep.
Now, to say some of us riders are superstitious would be an understatement. I tried not to have a routine, but after doing certain things in the same sequence when I was a teenager, it just stuck.
