Perry accepts it and says, “I’ve heard heaps of positives about your season so far. Keep up the good work.”
“Thanks,mate.” I know by Javi’s tone,mateis placeholder for a more apt term.
I can feel the intensity Javi is directing towards Perry. I place my hand on his arm, and he breaks his death stare from Perry. His eyes soften as they reach my own. “We’ll finish things up tomorrow in the pit.” I pull the strap of my laptop bag off his shoulder and place it on mine.
His face slightly contorts at my suggestion.
“Are you sure? I can stick around, if you need me to.”
“It’s okay. This won’t take long.” I send a disapproving glance in Perry’s direction.
Javi stays rooted in place for a moment as his jaw twitches. “Sing out if you need me.”
“I’ll text you a time after I’m done here,” I reply.
He squeezes my shoulder, turns to look at Perry again, and heads back to the elevator.
I let us both into my room and start setting my things down. Getting straight into it, I say, “Say what you need to say, Perry.”
“I want to apologise for how I ended everything between us. I know it was a terrible decision, and I regret it. I’m sorry,” he says.
Do I believe his genuineness? I can’t work out why he is coming to see menow. Looking at him, I can’t pick up anything from him anymore. I decide to move to the small kitchen area, making a tea to busy myself and have a distraction.
“Yup. That’s great. What do you want from me? A pardon?” I ask abruptly.
He walks over closer to me and places his hand on my shoulder. “I was hoping for forgiveness and maybe another shot at seeing each other again?”
Shaking his hand off me, “What? Why would I do that? You threw me away, by text, like I meant nothing. Like two years with me meant nothing.” My voice is shrill.
“I know, and that’s not what I should have done. It wasn’t right. I was not thinking,” he replies.
I look into his face, and I do remember the fun times. When we got to see each other and things didn’t feel complicated.
“I don’t know what to think right now. You hurt me. This has been a really hard year. Mum died after we broke up…” I reply, my voice wavering.
“Oh, Soph. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” He pulls me in for a hug. He knew how close I was to Mum and how much her death would have destroyed me. And I hug him back because he is familiar. He knew Mum, and that makes tears form and spill before I can catch them. “Shh, I’m here. It’s okay,” he soothes.
The kettle ending its boil helps me break away from him. My head is spinning. I can’t make sense of anything anymore.
“What happened? Did your girlfriend break up with you?” I ask.
He runs his hand through his hair. “No, we just didn’t have what you and I had. I miss you.”
“I don’t understand what you think will happen? I am not giving up any of my work commitments to satisfy your ego and need for a girlfriend to run around tracks after you.” I’m taking no shit.
“What we had was what I wanted. We had a good set up,” he replies.
I finish making my tea. One tea. Hopefully, he takes the hint.
He smiles. “Don’t give me an answer yet,” he starts, “give it some thought and let me know. I’m around until the end of the weekend. How about we have dinner tomorrow night? You can think and we can chat over a meal?”
My breathing gets heavy and my heart rate accelerates. Every muscle tightens and I feel the blood thumping in my ears. Everything feels tense, overwhelming. My thoughts are swirling and refusing to stop long enough for me to make sense of anything in the moment.
“Fine. I’ll text you,” I reply, stepping further back from him. Distance is good.
“Thank you,” Perry replies. “I’ll head off. I couldn’t get a room here, so I am staying at a friend’s a few suburbs away. It was good to see you, Soph.” He easily erases the distance I put between us, and puts his hand on the side of my face, leaning down to kiss my cheek.
I let him because I don’t have the strength to back away. He leaves and I remain shocked in the kitchen, holding the counter so I don’t fall over.What the fuck was that?!
