“You told me he was the one to make all the decisions for everyone.”
Dade laughed. “There were no decisions to be made. My father tended to bend the world to what he wanted, and it only got worse when he was promoted to general. I can’t tell you how disappointed he was that I didn’t go into the army or go to West Point. I got a scholarship on my own and went to a college of my choosing. He nearly busted a gut when I told him I was going to teach. After I graduated, he told me he could get me a position as an officer, and I could start my military career then.” He sighed. “I told him I was going to make my own way. I’m sorry. I know you like what you do.”
“I really do. But then again, I didn’t grow up in the army.”
“You got that right. I felt like I was part of the service since I was five years old. My father had my future laid out for me since I was born. He planned everything out then, and every time I didn’t measure up, I was sure to hear about it.” Dade shrugged. There was nothing he could do about it now.
“Well, I know that if I have any children, or am lucky enough to raise them, they can be whatever they want to be. That’s how I was raised, and I made my own choices. I went to West Point, served my allotted time as an officer, and came to love my life. I decided to make the army my career, and I’ve never come to regret it. When did you decide to become a teacher?”
“I was fifteen and I’d just moved back from Germany to the US. We were stationed at Fort Bragg, and it was my first day at a new school… again. There were only so many classes available, and I ended up in an art class. It was that teacher who saw something in me that others didn’t. He encouraged me to draw and even paint. I was only at that school for six months, because my father was needed somewhere else, but he changed my life and gave me something that I took with me to the next schooland the one after that. His name was Glenn Rough. He retired a few years ago, but I still keep in touch, and he sort of saved me.”
“How so?”
“In a way he gave me a voice that my father couldn’t take away. No matter what, I could draw, and I learned that I was really good at something other than disappointing my father. So that’s what I try to do with my students—help them find what they’re good at and encourage them. That’s all kids really need. It’s what I wish I’d had more of.” He turned to Cliff, who was nodding.
“Not everyone in the military is like him, you know. Your father is the man he is, and for good or bad, that’s the father you got. But not all of us act like him.”
“I know that,” Dade said. “I do. But I lived with this for so long. It’s not just the way he acts. I have roots in this town, and I don’t intend to leave.” He paused so he could think clearly about what he wanted to say. “If you and I were to date… or get involved, what would we do when you get deployed elsewhere? I don’t know about you, but I can’t give my heart to someone who is going to leave in a year or two. And that goes with your job. I’ve already relocated too many times in my life, and I can’t do it any longer. My entire childhood was spent living out of a suitcase, or at least it felt that way. I don’t want my adulthood to be like that either.”
“Even if it’s a good opportunity?” Cliff asked.
“By whose standard? My father is a general. That means he took every opportunity that came his way and made the most of it. And along the way, he dragged the rest of the family with him. There was no consideration. He never hesitated to take what was offered so he could get ahead. I was eighteen, and two months before high school graduation, when he took a posting to Guam. He expected me and everyone else to just go with him. I refused. I was of age and told him I’d live on the street before I’d go. I wasstaying and graduating from my school, and I was never moving to Guam.”
Cliff sighed. “Let me guess. He went to Guam and reported for duty, and you stayed here.”
“This time, Mom put her foot down and said that she was staying too. Maria did as well, and father went alone. We joined him for summer vacation, and then I returned to the mainland for college and never moved with them again.”
“Then how about this. I will never make those kinds of decisions for you. But I would like to see you again. You’re funny, and you know what you want. Most people don’t. I can’t tell you that I won’t be asked to move, but I will promise that if I am, and we are still dating, that I will ask you what you want to do. Is that fair?”
Dade was tempted to just say no and go on home. But Cliff was kind and thoughtful, a combination Dade rarely seemed to find. He also listened to him, and considering that Dade had done a lot of the talking, Cliff hadn’t tuned him out or gotten tired of his ramblings. Instead, he’d paid attention. Few people outside of the school where he taught had.
“Okay,” Dade said. What was he going to do, turn away a man with many of the qualities he liked—and one that was hot to boot—and not give him a chance? “We’ll see how things go.” Dade pulled out his phone and got Cliff’s number. He called it so he would have his number and then added Cliff to his address book.
“So, what are you doing tomorrow?” Cliff asked.
“Grading papers. I have plenty of them to look at. After that, I have lesson plans to review and units to develop. Some of them I have from last year, but I need to develop new ones. I don’t want things to get stale, and this year I’d like to do something special in January. The holidays are over, and it sometimes seems like a real letdown. I also need to go to the Dollar Store forshopping. The school gives the kids a list of supplies they need for the year, and I have kids who can’t afford those things. They come to school on a lick and a prayer. Every month, I get some of the supplies that they don’t have and put them in my locked closet. That way I can give them out when they’re needed.”
“Do you use your own money for that?” Cliff asked. “Because that just isn’t fair.”
“There isn’t the budget for it. So yes, I have to spend my own money. All teachers do. I know it isn’t fair, but that’s the way it is. I’m a regular at the Dollar Store. I get simple things, but that way no one has to go without.”
“I don’t need to be on post this weekend. I’ll take you to the store on Saturday and help with the shopping.” Cliff’s jaw was set, and he had a fierce expression. Dade wasn’t sure what it meant, but he agreed.
“Saturday morning about ten,” he said. “You know where I live, so you can pick me up and we can go on to the store.”
“Then I can take you to lunch after, and maybe if the weather is nice, we can go for a bike ride or a walk along the LeTort Trail.” Cliff had one of those smiles that Dade found completely disarming.
“Very good.” They turned at the square and continued the walk back to Dade’s small apartment. “I’d like that. The only time I get outside most days is when I’m on the playground, though I don’t have that duty every day. Mostly when the kids are at recess, I grab a cup of coffee and go back to my desk to do some planning or marking. A lot of teachers spend time in the lounge, but I don’t have the time for that.”
“Because you’re a good teacher.”
Dade shrugged. “Mostly because when I go home, I try to have some time to myself and not spend time at my kitchen table grading papers or preparing for the next few days. I get done as much as I can at work.”
Once they arrived, Cliff walked him to his door and said good night. Dade hugged him and then went inside, closing the door, wondering if he should have kissed him, but then maybe there should be something left for next time. He gathered a few things and his work bag and headed out to the hotel, since his apartment was practically a disaster area.
At the hotel, Dade checked in and went to the room, grateful that it smelled clean with no hint of smoke. And at least it would only be for a night or two. He smiled as he took off his jacket and kicked off his shoes, before pulling out his bag filled with papers. Dade still had plenty to do at home, but that would need to wait for now. It was amazing how many papers a class of twenty-five kids could generate in a day. He set them out and got started marking the last of them, but he found it hard to concentrate. Cliff kept invading his mind, and more than once, he paused, red pen in hand, just staring at the wall, wondering what Cliff looked like under those clothes. He had caught sight of muscle at times, and it was obvious that Cliff took care of himself.
His phone vibrating on the table interrupted his thoughts. Dade snatched it up, frowning at the strange number, and almost let it go to voicemail, thinking it was a telemarketer. “Hello,” he said cautiously.
